- I don't understand this heat in April. What do you say, will it be the greenhouse effect?
- It's possible.
- What do you think is the cause of global warming? I hear a lot of bullshit on tv: scientists blame pollution, cows, even plants. More than scientists, they seem like a bunch of idiots to me.
- First of all it should be understood whether global warming exists. And then, even if there was, it is not certain that man is responsible: the dinosaurs became extinct long before we got to pollute the planet.
- You say it could be a giant hype?
- I'm not ruling it out.
- But for what purpose? If it is to eliminate mankind I can understand it, after all we are like plant bugs: too many, intrusive and stinking. But the cows, the plants ...
- Who knows.
- Sorry, would you mind pretending to take me seriously? I am talking to you about the problems of the planet and you answer in monosyllables and yawn in my face.
- Do I have to?
- I'm afraid you'll have to do it very soon. Not from me, someone else will take care of it.
- Anyone else who?
- You will see.
- You already know how I think, boy: we will die buried in mountains of waste, but without getting out of the car and with a cigarette in our mouth.
- In the meantime, start putting out your cigarette. What are you doing, are you crazy? Do you throw the butt in the grass? Your generation is without hope: and you complain about the young.
- I'll throw it in the water, happy?
- Not at all: you pollute my river.
- Your river?
- The Latins also use something like it, don't they? The dative as it is called.
- Ethical. And then, to be precise, this is not a river but a stream: today we are near the Orco.
- I'm for maximum simplification. A thing where there is flowing water is called a river. Point.
- Pearls of wisdom today: let's hear, say another.
- A thing that has feathers and flies is called a bird. Simple and concise, right?
- And a thing that walks on two legs and has little brain?
- Chicken, of course.
- Or?
- Emmanuel?
- Bravo, I see you are making progress.
- I may be stupid, but you linguists have time to waste.
- You're not stupid.
- Even if I were, believe me, it would be the least of my problems. Give me that butt, I'll take care of it: I crumble it and bury it.
- Are all your peers so boring? You should be a priest, a forest ranger, what do I know; except you're just trying to distract me.
- Touché.
- Open the book.
- What page?
- You know perfectly well. Read and translate.
- Bìa ùn hòsper apò tòn Seirenòn...
- No, stop: Seirènon, not Seirenòn.
- Is it that important?
- If there's one thing I can't stand, it's badly read Greek. You must scrupulously respect all accents, without exception: I do not compromise on this. Come on, start over. That's better, we're almost there. Now translate.
- By doing violence to myself, therefore, I run away from him as if from sirens by covering my ears, to avoid growing old sitting next to him. So was Alcibiades in love with Socrates?
- Go on.
- ...and I would often be happy to see him dead; but if this happened, I know well that I would suffer much more; so I no longer know what to do with this man.
- In the text there is a predicative participle: do you recognize it?
- Obviously not.
- Then take the grammar, you have to review the participle. Not there, further to the right: you are laying down on it.
- It is my unconscious desire to suppress it. Please, note that you have not answered my question.
- You're boring, kid.
- I boring? Are you the one who is insatiable: I have a crush on Catullus, I am starting to like even Plato, and all you find to say is that I am boring?
- "Even" Plato. We're not quite there anyway, Emmanuel.
- In what sense are we not there?
- Look at yourself: does it seem normal to you to be sprawled out in the grass half naked while I try to teach you a lesson?
- What's wrong with this position?
- All. It is unprofessional.
- Unprofessional?
- And then you risk falling asleep if you continue to lie down.
- Don't worry, the flies are helping me.
- That's enough: get up and sit down composed, otherwise I'll go. And button your shirt.
- Okay. I mean, all right. But what was Alcibiades like? I mean physically.
- Very beautiful.
- How do you know?
- I know because everyone says it. Plutarch also says so in his biography.
- Come on, why don't we do some philological gossip?
- How stupid you are, Emmanuel.
- I know, it's a natural gift. So what does Plutarch say?
- He says he was the most handsome of the Athenians. He also says that he had a fluffy r, like the French you know, and walked with his head a little bent to the side.
- Like this?
- Don't play the fool. And then he says he drove men and women crazy.
- Sounds cool.
- More than cool I would say terrible. He was arrogant and violent: as a kid he beat his flute teacher and one day he even cut off his dog's tail.
- About the teacher I do not pronounce, but the dog why?
- So, for no serious reason. He wanted to be talked about and wished to distract people from his political intrigues.
- This is not nice. Poor dog.
- No, it is not.
- How do you imagine it?
- A snarling beast: he was a Molosser of a very rare breed.
- Don't pretend to be stupid: I said Alcibiades.
- He? Ricky Shayne type. Forget it, it's prehistoric times, you can't know him.
- But I know him: one of the Mods. It may seem strange to you, but I have a certain musical culture. A little tamarro, but cool. Do you like vulgar types?
- The abundance of physical means does not imply vulgarity.
- Now that I think about it, he looks a bit like that Italian-French guy who was playing tennis yesterday with my brother... What's his name?
- You mean Frédéric? However he is not Italian-French, he is of Swiss origin.
- Yes, he is: Frédéric Bergamelli.
- He is quite another type: apart from the physical means, he has class, style ...
- You like him?
- Could you send your dog to dig a little further? He filled my skirt with soil.
- What are you doing professor, change the subject?
- Well, come on, how can you not like Freddy?
- Freddy? Are we already at this point? If I were in my brother's place I would slap you.
- But luckily you're not in your brother's place.
- Yeah, thankfully.
- Shall we open the grammar, please?
- My desire is gone. I'm going to take a bath with Tegame.
- A bath in April? You are crazy.
- Why? The stream is clean and it's hot. Come you too.
- I don't have a bathing suit.
- Me neither: is that a problem?
- Indeed it is.
- Oh sorry, professor.
- Avoid easy ironies, please.
- And you the false modesty.
- Why false?
- Come on, come and take a bath: I swear I'll keep my eyes closed.
- We don't even talk about it.
- I should have expected: you are old, professor.
- Thanks for reminding me.
- Duty. I go.
- ...
- Dry yourself, you'll catch a cold.
- Yes mom.
- Do not stay wet in the shade. Get the towel.
- Yes mom.
- Put your shirt on. You are really funny all disheveled; come here, I'll dry your hair.
- Now I shake like a dog, so I wet your skirt.
- What fun do you find bathing in the river? You have a swimming pool at home.
- It would be like asking a bird why he prefers to fly rather than stay in a cage. But, I forgot, you prefer the cage.
- It depends on the cage.
- Even if it was made of gold, professor, it's fake. It's dead. Like the swimming pool, like the aquarium.
- Maybe you're not completely wrong.
- What's happening to you? You became sad.
- Nothing, I have a doubt.
- What doubt?
- Suddenly it seems to me that everything we're doing doesn't make sense. You are fine as you are, what I teach you is useless. Or rather, I think it is really wrong: I risk distorting you.
- You're joking, right? You are my future.
- Your future?
- Yes: do you want to leave me here tumbling on the ground like a dog all life long? I mean, deep down I know I'm a human being.
- But you run away from me like an eel.
- I'm serious: I'm starting to like studying. And that bothers me, you know? I swore to myself to hate school forever.
- You're just saying that to make me happy.
- Obvious.
- What an asshole.
- Put that cd on, please?
- We have to review the participle.
- Not now, come on. I need to be at peace with myself for a while, I wouldn't listen to you.
- How strange this piece.
- It's a little heavy for a girl like you.
- Do you think that what does not scandalize you can scandalize me?
- It's not that I think so: I'm absolutely sure.
- What does the text say? I can't understand it, it's impossible slang.
- Let me find a decent synonym: "deflower me"?
- Huh?
- Inside the cover are the lyrics: read them yourself.
- Ah here. Now I understand.
- Listen, let's make a deal: I listen to my music and you read your books.
- But I'm not shocked. Indeed, I like it, it is an intense text: it reminds me of Catullus, Rimbaud...
- It doesn't have to remind you of anyone. Keep calm and try to relax, professor.
- (Music and silence).
- Why brown?
- Why brown who?
- Alcibiades.
- Are you still thinking about him? What do I know, the brown is more passionate.
- What kind of banality, professor!
- Sorry to let you down.
- Don't you like blond?
- Less than brown.
- Yeah, I forgot that the red-haired ones...
- The red-haired what?
- Nothing. However, the brown marks too strongly the boundary between male and female. I don't like what is too precise in sex.
- Strange tastes, kid.
- Strange why? Does it seem normal to you to be attracted to physical protrusions? Tits, butts, muscles?
- Of course that's normal.
- You too like everyone else, I see. People call vulgar things normal. My mates say they would like to fuck hot pussies: well, the word "fuck" is vulgar, and even "pussy" is vulgar. What is vulgar is disgusting to me. In general, I don't like the active.
- To tell the truth, "fucking" is not active: it is transitive middle.
- Thanks for the clarification: then I don't like the transitive middle.
- Sorry, what do you mean you don't like it?
- I mean that I prefer the passive. It is nature that makes you: you don't decide to be born, you don't decide to live, you don't decide to get sick and die. We might as well let ourselves be made, don't you think?
- No. Not at all. It's a very dangerous point of view, I don't like you thinking it.
- Dangerous is to live, professor, however you put it.
- (A long silence).
- Explain the participle to me.
- What do I owe this initiative to?
- Be careful, prof: if you keep asking me questions, sooner or later I'll be forced to answer you.