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[david]: hello i'm glad to have you back
on the broken and mended podcast or as

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[david]: we call it here the end the
seams broken and mended as a ministry that

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[david]: host the podcast and i am your
personal host david helen founder and president a

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[david]: broken and mended and i said glad
to have you back of course some of

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[david]: you may be joining for the first
time if you're just finding us we hope

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[david]: you'll stick around with really appreciate if
you would follow the podcast review the podcast

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[david]: you know this is something that we
were trying i'm trying to do it's usually

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[david]: me often have a guest probably at
least half the time i like to do

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[david]: it that way like to let you
hear from other people but today i'm just

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[david]: going to be flying solo we're trying
to do this a couple of times a

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[david]: month when possible really practically it's worked
out for me more about once a month

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[david]: that's because i'm a busy person i'm
sure you are as well you know besides

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[david]: dealing with chronic illness and chronic pain
which i do i i am married i

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[david]: have three kids i am in a
i am a minister reacher of a church

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[david]: and at the same time trying to
guide this broken amended ministry and so sometimes

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[david]: i don't get as much done as
i would like to get done i'm sure

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[david]: many of you out there can relate
to that but i'm also learning that okay

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[david]: you do what you can do and
we're not supposed to be thinking that it

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[david]: all depends on us anyway of course
people with chronic illness and chronic pain that

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[david]: is a lesson that they learn in
many different ways and they have to they

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[david]: have no choice because of the way
that their health changes their situation and actually

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[david]: going to be sharing on that theme
today in a personal way because that's what

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[david]: i'm going to be going through here
for the next several weeks i am to

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[david]: have my right hip replaced tomorrow when
you hear this it will probably have already

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[david]: happened but this is wednesday october the
twelfth when i'm recording this so on thursday

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[david]: at thirteenth i am supposed to have
right hip replacement surgery so i will be

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[david]: driving down there pretty soon the norman
from where i live up here in north

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[david]: west oklahoma so i'll be going down
to norman oklahoma to do that and it's

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[david]: made me want to maybe share a
couple of thoughts maybe it's helpful for people

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[david]: that might be facing sir jury you
know themselves because of their chronic illness or

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[david]: have been through that in the past
i just had the opportunity in a recent

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[david]: drive i had out of town to
kind of reflect on some lect on some

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[david]: thoughts you know that you know just
it's just a strange thing to think about

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[david]: going in having a joint replaced in
the fact that we can do that here

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[david]: in america um you know that i
kind of have this feeling i don't want

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[david]: to say of guilt but just knowing
that other people in the world maybe don't

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[david]: have that kind of access to health
care you kind of feel like well why

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[david]: should i you know have that kind
of access and that doesn't just apply to

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[david]: expensive surgeries but to many other things
including the medicines that some of us take

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[david]: the amount of money that the what
cost for people to take my medicine if

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[david]: i had to pay out of pocket
is absurd and again i know many of

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[david]: you are in the same situation maybe
in other countries they could get that a

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[david]: little bit cheaper then we would get
it here because our own health care system

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[david]: raises the cost of course but i
don't know you know i don't know if

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[david]: it's even accessible to some some of
those people and so i've just been thinking

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[david]: lot about this issue um this this
isn't necessarily a podcast about you know pre

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[david]: surgery the eva surgery nerves or anything
like that that's a relevant topic to you

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[david]: know i you know for just full
for sake of full disclosure certainly i have

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[david]: nerves about what's about to happen and
you know i also am okay about it

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[david]: you know it's i feel i feel
like some nerves are probably probably good and

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[david]: and nothing wrong with that if i
was terrified i you know probably try put

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[david]: off the surgery longer and so it's
kind of somewhere kind of in between terrified

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[david]: maybe not having any it's about it
but that's not the main thing i wanted

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[david]: to talk about today i wanted to
talk just a little bit about some reflections

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[david]: of what it means for us to
have this kind of health care um and

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[david]: maybe to talk through just some of
the implications of the privilege that many of

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[david]: us have especially in the western world
some some of other places in the world

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[david]: too i'm not saying western world it
has all the answers health care and certainly

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[david]: has it struggles but i do want
to think about what this means from a

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[david]: theological perspective what means for my relationship
with god what should i be thinking spiritually

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[david]: theologically on the eve of my surgery
that's kind of more where i wanted to

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[david]: focus the thoughts today you know my
experience with surgery and i know a lot

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[david]: of people chronic illness have had experiences
with surgery and i you know some haven't

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[david]: probably will one day it's certainly a
more common occurrence with people with chronic illness

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[david]: than those who don't have chronic illness
or crime pain and injury or something that

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[david]: has to be repaired in my case
it kind of started out that way because

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[david]: i injured my hips when i was
in a talk on do this is in

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[david]: two thousand eleven and at the time
i know what was going on and i'm

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[david]: not going to retail that story i've
told it elsewhere but i ended up with

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[david]: an orthopedic surgeon in albert kirke i
was able to correctly diagnose what was going

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[david]: on really on two levels the first
was at that time my primary interest was

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[david]: the injury to my hips that they
didn't i couldn't do anything with i certainly

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[david]: have having to give up talk on
do and they were getting worse and worse

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[david]: sharp pain and all that kind of
stuff so both hips so it's about lateral

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[david]: hip injuries and i didn't know you
know what was behind it but i was

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[david]: hoping that a surgeon could fix it
because it wasn't ever getting better on it

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[david]: so in fact it was only getting
worse so i you know he told me

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[david]: what was wrong i had torn labels
i had you know what's called the hip

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[david]: inpinchment and cam in pincer an pinchment
if you're familiar with that language if you've

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[david]: been through that before you know that's
where you get bone growth bone spurs may

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[david]: be okay word to use there you
know but you get it on your ball

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[david]: and the socket if you have camp
and pincer hip inpinchment and then because of

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[david]: that when you put stress on the
hip or you rotate the hip you know

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[david]: violently like you do and talk one
dog and other things because you know you're

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[david]: when you're kicking in order to get
power you're rotating your plant leg now you're

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[david]: rotating that out to get more power
into your kick and that's how i tore

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[david]: mine and there was no flexibility there
because of the extra bone growth i didn't

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[david]: realize that you know obviously i wouldn't
have done it but in any kay it

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[david]: was a very painful condition but as
we're doing getting ready to do that surgery

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[david]: he also tells me that okay looks
like you might have ancolosing spondelitis too and

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[david]: that the that being the underlying condition
that has stayed with me even after i

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[david]: had the surgeries and to be honest
the first thing i had to learn about

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[david]: surgery is it doesn't always fix what
you wanted to or it takes a lot

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[david]: longer since i was not yet being
treated for an underlying disease and the inflammation

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[david]: that comes with that when they did
surgery on my left hip even though it

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[david]: was authoscopic it was quite invasive it
was too i had two and a half

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[david]: hours surgery and they cleaned it up
and put it back together and i mean

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[david]: it was it was extensive with a
lot of resurfacing on the bone and in

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[david]: the joints and when they did that
i i had a very difficult time recovering

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[david]: from that insurance wouldn't pay for physical
therapy which was ridiculous of course but but

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[david]: it was all out of pocket if
i wanted to do it so i didn't

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[david]: do very much of it i did
most of it home and because of the

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[david]: extra inflammation from my disease that was
just really getting kicked off you know it

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[david]: was i took me say two and
a half years before i felt like i

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[david]: had an improvement from the hip surgery
and what i was feeling before i had

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[david]: the hip surgery that's not what i
expected was the first thing and i guess

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[david]: you know along with that related to
that is underlying disease is something that's hard

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[david]: to predict or if the situation could
occur again or if you fix one joint

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[david]: is going to affect another joint and
so there are a lot of other issues

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[david]: that kind of come up surgery could
what i had hoped for because i didn't

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[david]: know about underlying disease i didn't know
about the inflammation and the enclosing spondalizs so

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[david]: what i had hoped for when i
went to surgery is that i would get

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[david]: it fixed i would go through my
rehab and i would return normal life and

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[david]: that never happened that was crushing you
know and so i should have had my

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[david]: right hip operated on much sooner than
i did but because i didn't get the

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[david]: results i wanted i put that off
from two thousand twelve to two thousand six

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[david]: team when i finally had my right
hip operated on and that probably has the

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[david]: reason why my right hip is technically
worse than my left now and why it's

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[david]: going to be replaced before the left
i say technically because actually most of the

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[david]: time the left hurts me worse kind
of strange but from a radio graphic standpoint

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[david]: and x ray the right hip is
worse just but anyway you know it didn't

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[david]: it didn't fix everything now that i
you know had hoped and so i think

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[david]: people with chronic illness and chronic pain
have to have more realistic expectations and and

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[david]: so i've been more reluctant to ex
or surgery than i was before all this

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[david]: happened before i don't those first surgery
ever had were on my hips but before

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[david]: at least before the first one if
i started would fix something why not you

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[david]: know you go through a little rehab
sure but now i was a little bit

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[david]: more hesitant quite a bit more hesitant
after that in between that i had to

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[david]: have her no surgery which obviously was
not really to the other issues but those

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[david]: are the three searcheries i had going
into what's going to be happening tomorrow and

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[david]: tomorrow i'm getting my right hip replaced
because the arthoratis has continued they're the bone

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[david]: the joint space which was low even
back in twenty twelve so ten years ago

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[david]: when they were first looking at my
hips you know even though they fixed my

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[david]: hips from a standpoint of extra bone
growth repaired to the labor repair there's no

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[david]: way they could create extra joint space
as i'm losing it and so i had

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[david]: an arthritic hip and i knew that
i was eventually going to have to have

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[david]: hip replacement surgery is not surprise i
had hoped to make it another ten years

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[david]: but the pain was too consistent into
limiting the intensity of the pain is stronger

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[david]: sometimes than others but it just became
time to take action again and i think

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[david]: it will in this case i think
the risk of losing mobility in being inactive

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[david]: actually makes my health outcomes wore and
more serious than if i get it fixed

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[david]: where i can still be somewhat active
and so that's that's the idea and probably

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[david]: left us to follow i mean that's
the plan right now we don't know exactly

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[david]: when we'll do that one um but
that's that is you know that's that's what's

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[david]: upcoming that's that's what i'm facing and
i know because the enclosing spondalitis that first

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[david]: of all the physical therapy is very
important for me to rebu strengthen that hip

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[david]: and then also that i got to
keep it on the underlying inflammation but at

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[david]: least i'm being treated for that as
that was not the very first ship surgery

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[david]: i ever had as i said as
i was thinking about this and the i

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[david]: was praying about it to be honest
and as i was praying about it i

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[david]: was thinking about the fact that i
was evaluating my decision i guess is the

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[david]: way that one might say because maybe
i could put it off longer and i

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[david]: started thinking about the places in the
world where this wasn't even an option and

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[david]: i started thinking about what that would
mean for me i have a disease that

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[david]: fuses joints the disease is trying to
fuse my hip joint that's the problem if

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[david]: i could not get this surgery and
i could not treat the disease both very

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[david]: expensive remedies then my hip joints would
have eventually fused and actually even with me

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[david]: treating the disease they would eventually fuse
and i would be crippled i don't see

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[david]: how you can walk with a fuse
tip joint maybe you could shuffle i don't

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[david]: even know but the way i pictured
is probably a well chair and so you

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[david]: know it's it's a big deal that
i can do this whether i was to

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[david]: do it this year or at some
point in the future if i could never

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[david]: do it that's that's what my fate
would be and so i i understand that

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[david]: that is a big deal but it
got me to thinking about the fact that

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[david]: you know that this is quite a
privilege something to be thankful for and that

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[david]: kind of helped me to embrace the
fact that i had made this decision because

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[david]: i think that people in the world
who would need this kind of surgery and

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[david]: can't get it that they would think
it foolish or even just very ungrateful not

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[david]: to pursue it when it is available
for me because they would want it if

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[david]: they could get it it still made
me feel a little bit i can't i

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[david]: wish i could think of a better
word than guilty i'm not really i don't

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[david]: really feel guilt about it or bad
about it i just have this feeling though

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[david]: it is quite a privilege to be
able to receive this level of medical treatment

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[david]: and intervention first of all it's a
privilege as it relates to history this is

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[david]: not something that was avail but for
all time it's this has all been relatively

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[david]: recent both in terms of the therapeutic
drugs and you know the surgical interventions they

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[david]: can do to help someone with my
disease so living at a different time i

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[david]: would have been certainly would have again
faced a prognosis of being crippled but also

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[david]: as it relates to where i live
in the world yes health insurance situation here

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[david]: is a miss in our country i
know there have been political attempts to remedy

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[david]: which maybe has helped some it has
in my case i know and i'm not

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[david]: trying to be political some of you
may not have been for the health care

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[david]: fordable health care act you got your
since i got my reasons but the bottom

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[david]: line is it s allowed me to
have a fordable health care at a time

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[david]: when i really need that and that
has allowed me to have access to a

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[david]: pretty extensive medical intervention that would otherwise
be you know too expensive you know to

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[david]: get it done and so i've i'm
approaching this from a standpoint of i want

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[david]: to be thankful i don't want to
take it for granted maybe that's the best

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[david]: way to say it that i want
to have a perspective that helps me to

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[david]: recognize that this is a this is
a blessing that a lot of people in

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[david]: the world just don't have and some
people might even hesitate to call it a

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[david]: blessing and they say well it's not
like god's blessing you because you know more

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[david]: than somewhere else well that's that's somewhat
true i recognize the circumstances we are born

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[david]: into not that it isn't sovereign over
that but there's what we might call fortune

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[david]: in it there's some circumstantial things born
in this country born in some other country

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[david]: where this this would be possible as
well i wanted to mention a book i

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[david]: read a few years back called compassionate
jesus re thinking the christian approach to modern

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[david]: medicine and this is written by christopher
be gosh if i wrote his name downright

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[david]: it's b o g s h if
you want to check it out for me

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[david]: the theology in the book was a
little bit different than than my own not

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[david]: major i mean in terms of what
you would consider orthodox christianity it was the

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[david]: same but but some things that were
different and so not everything resonated with me

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[david]: in that book whether it with you
or not i don't know but overall premise

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[david]: of it did resonate with me and
he was asking for us christians that live

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[david]: in a situation where we do have
access to all this medical care to try

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[david]: and form a much more christian based
theology when it comes to medical care because

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[david]: his he was in the medical field
and his observation had been that most christians

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[david]: don't make their decisions any differently than
anybody else that goes in for medical care

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[david]: i mean we're not talking about you
know hey i got stripped through because i'm

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[david]: a christian i'm not going to take
an antabolotic well that's that's dumb don't do

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[david]: that and there's a lot of bad
theology where i go i'm not going to

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[david]: get into the different churches who do
this who tell people now to use medicine

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[david]: at all and that was not the
extreme he was advocating for as i said

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[david]: he was in the medical industry i
think mainly what he was getting at in

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[david]: that book and it's been several years
since i read it but i remember it

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[david]: enough to say that what he was
getting at was that we should not look

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[david]: at the main goal our lives as
simply extending our physical lives because we can't

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[david]: do that indefinitely and as christians were
not supposed to be afraid of death he

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[david]: obviously would say that we should get
life saving care and certainly the idea of

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[david]: what i'm looking at like where he
hit replacement surgery care that would improve quality

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[david]: of life is good and and that's
not something we should avoid and it's not

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[david]: a lack of faith or anything like
that to take advantage of those things so

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[david]: yeah you know that's that's that's a
positive and i just want to say that

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[david]: that was not what's being cratigued he
was looking more toward kind of what happens

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[david]: when we have the choice so trying
to extend life versus choosing palative care or

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[david]: sometimes you know what we call hospice
care sorry i was having a hard time

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[david]: coming with the word so palative and
hospice care that sort of thing and in

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[david]: pupelative care is i think a more
general term than hospital where we're just talking

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[david]: about treating making people's quality of life
better not necessarily trying to extend their life

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[david]: these are very personal decisions all that
he was saying is that we ought to

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[david]: go into those sort of decisions with
a christian mindset with a theological mindset and

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[david]: we ought to show trusting god and
recognizing that we're not going to act like

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[david]: we're afraid to die when the time
comes that's a little bit beyond where i'm

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[david]: at and thinking about this surgery today
but it may not be beyond where some

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[david]: of you some of my listeners are
at as they're having to make those kinds

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[david]: of decisions and and i know people
have had to make those kinds of decisions

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[david]: i know some christians who made the
decision for positive care and they were very

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[david]: grateful they did that they were grateful
to focus on quality of life i think

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[david]: when you're situation where you can extend
your life and still be there for others

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[david]: of course that's a good thing to
do by the way part of the reason

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[david]: i have this on my mind too
is another is something else that had been

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[david]: in the news this was out of
and and they have a it's called made

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[david]: um m a and then lower case
i capital d it's a law there that

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[david]: i started out just allowing for out
and you kind of end of life situations

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[david]: that is now being applied to people
that have psychological disorders i mean in lots

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[david]: of different situations where people can choose
to end their life legally the help of

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[david]: a doctor and now they're trying to
make it where minors who want to do

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[david]: that they call them mature minors whatever
that means and that they would be able

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[david]: to do this and a parent couldn't
stop them it's it's it's from a christian

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[david]: perspective it's gone from at least something
we might understand or sympathize with to something

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[david]: that is outlandish and has no rest
pect for the life that god has given

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[david]: us and and i know that with
people with chronic illness and chronic pain we

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[david]: don't want to live in these bodies
the way they are for ever there may

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[david]: be some sin in which death can
be a relief death is never the ally

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[david]: but it can be a relief from
our suffering and we you know we believe

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[david]: in the resurrection that god will give
us new bodies in that god is and

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[david]: we're going to live imperfectly sound and
healthy immortal bodies and so you know because

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[david]: of that again we don't hold on
to life in a way that says that

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[david]: we don't believe that but nor do
we want to go to this other extreme

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[david]: this says that our life is just
ours to end any time we want to

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[david]: so that that's another reason this these
issues are in my mind and i think

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[david]: that we need to think through these
things theologically look god is the creator of

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[david]: life life belongs to him including the
life he has given me and sure i

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[david]: think endless suffering is you know it's
not endless we need to remember that that

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[david]: it is n't endless because we're going
to get to be free of it one

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[david]: day but to just take our life
in our own hands and to end it

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[david]: with our own decision you know and
i'm not just talking about suicide which is

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[david]: somewhat of a different issue okay there's
the same issue but a different aspect of

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[david]: it and us talking about someone who
just says they're tired of it all again

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[david]: they can't get the pain medicine they
wanted so to go kill themselves again i

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[david]: certainly have empathy for a person in
a situation like that but we would fight

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[david]: to prevent that if we could for
the person people that we love and hopefully

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[david]: for ourselves we would want people to
to help us prevent it if we were

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[david]: in that situation and i just i
see that law in canada and think and

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[david]: that's coming to some places here in
america too and and just saying that's the

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[david]: way we're going we're going to where
we are using the tools of the medical

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[david]: industry which were meant to bless our
quality of life yea and in some cases

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[david]: extended and instead using it to end
life and in that to me is a

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[david]: great tragedy um again i know that
may not be where a lot of my

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[david]: listeners are there are things that we
need to think through so that's that's you

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[david]: can call a soap box but i
would hope that's the one that we we

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[david]: share at the end of the day
m sorry for the cache there but it's

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[david]: an effective one sometimes you know i
want to improve for myself what i can

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[david]: my quality of life because it makes
me a little bit more of a easier

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[david]: person will be around in my family
a little bit more active hopefully can improve

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[david]: my quality of life as well as
the length of my life if i can

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[david]: improve the quality of life where i
can be active and i recognize other people

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[david]: can't have this this life improving procedure
this surgery that i get to have they

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[david]: would want to have it if they
could and so for me to to think

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[david]: badly of that or to feel guilty
about that really kind of misses the point

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[david]: i'm thankful that i can do this
i'm a little bit nervous about it but

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[david]: i am but i am thankful and
i think when we can improve our quality

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[david]: of life wish that we should now
granted you know sometimes there's the financial aspect

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[david]: that comes into play in this case
my out of pocket maximum was already met

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[david]: makes it an easy decision from that
standpoint but i know these things can weigh

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[david]: in different ways than just what i'm
talking about today i like for us to

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[david]: commit to praying for and supporting efforts
that are made to bring these miracles really

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[david]: to other people who otherwise would not
have access to them what we consider routine

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[david]: they would consider miracles yeah i know
there's been a lot of different efforts medical

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[david]: missions over the years and i kind
of grew up in a tradition where we

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[david]: only saw that as a meinston end
well how many souls did you save how

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[david]: many people became christians and if we
couldn't give a real definitive answer about that

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[david]: then it was like well that was
kind of a waste of time you and

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[david]: i just think was just missing the
boat so much that when we have an

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[david]: opportunity to do good to others as
scripture says do good to others as you

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[david]: have opportunity to do good we ought
to do it and if we have a

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[david]: privilege like health care and have the
ability to either prayerfully or through financial means

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[david]: or if we're able to go i
know a lot of us aren't able to

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[david]: travel like that because of our chronic
illness but but if we're able to even

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[david]: lend professional medical skills that we might
have or to assist in assist professionals in

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[david]: helping other people to go to other
places in the world i think it is

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[david]: an awesome blessing and i know people
god will be glorified and people will be

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[david]: brought to christ whether we know about
it or not and these things are something

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[david]: that we need to support an ever
way that we can because there are a

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[david]: lot of people out there suffering to
a greater degree than some of us are

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[david]: and some of us are suffering pretty
badly and yet we still have some relief

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[david]: from medicines interventions therapeutic medicines and so
forth and we need to recognize that and

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[david]: to recognize those people out there that
are beyond miserable that don't have access to

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[david]: these things that we can help with
maybe you have heard about the mercy ships

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[david]: mercy ships apparently as best to understand
it i've read about it haven't i think

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00:25:46,109 --> 00:25:50,897
[david]: there's us series that you can watch
about it but these these ships gigantic ships

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[david]: that go to different countries different ports
around the world with doctors and nurses and

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[david]: other volunteers and medical equipment supplies and
and just do things that are just unbelievable

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[david]: i think one story i heard was
someone who was given sight you know through

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[david]: an authomologist a surgeon and because that
person was able to give them something give

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[david]: them opportunity for something that again to
us would be routine and yet they for

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[david]: them it was anything but routine and
they were able to see because of that

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[david]: effort obviously you can't fix everything well
we can't fix everything here in america or

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[david]: other places western world or other modern
places that's it's quite clear that people are

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[david]: still going to suffer people ultimate still
going to die so this is we understand

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[david]: this um m but there is a
lot that can be done and there are

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[david]: tons of preventable diseases and tons of
different interventions that could help people who are

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[david]: suffering greatly in the world so i'll
end by just saying listen thankful for what

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[david]: we have access to but let's not
have the mentality of hoarding it to ourselves

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[david]: if we can do anything to speed
that along to people who have that need

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00:27:11,550 --> 00:27:16,758
[david]: i think that that's the christian perspective
that we want to have well when you're

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[david]: hearing this as i said my surgery
is likely over i appreciate your prayers for

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[david]: my recovery perhaps on the next podcast
we'll be able to up date on that

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[david]: how that's going and likely we'll have
the left left hip done in a few

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[david]: anywhere from weeks to months we'll see
how that works out but thanks for listening

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[david]: to in the seams always glad to
just share with you and and you hope

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[david]: that some of the thoughts and reflections
that i had today can be of help

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00:27:46,748 --> 00:27:49,834
[david]: will be a blessing to as you
think through some of these things for yourself

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[david]: and we'll add please check us out
at broken and mended dot or there you

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00:27:54,501 --> 00:27:59,269
[david]: can hear the podcast there you can
see our blog post and you can also

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00:28:00,051 --> 00:28:03,877
[david]: connect with our either our support groups
or our social media presence all that stuff

347
00:28:04,057 --> 00:28:10,187
[david]: is link able through the website a
broken amended dot ord and if you reach

348
00:28:10,207 --> 00:28:14,154
[david]: out through the contact form need special
prayers or you need anything or you got

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00:28:14,214 --> 00:28:17,880
[david]: an idea maybe something we could offer
or talk about be glad to take that

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00:28:17,940 --> 00:28:23,389
[david]: under consideration so i'll sign off for
now and hope that you have a bless

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[david]: uh day or night whenever it is
you happen to be listening to this and

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[david]: i will talk to you next time