(slow footsteps; sound of running water under a bridge) EDWARD: (muttering) Do as I say, Edward. Get a stronger argument, Edward. Stronger argument, is it? I’ll show him a stronger argument. Hmph. Bulbous plutocrat. WAYLON: (sighs, throws a rock into the water) EDWARD: (spooked by the splash) What the - (surprised) Waylon! WAYLON: Hiya, Eddie. EDWARD: What are you doing out here? WAYLON: (sighs) Above da ground, y’mean? Where I don’t belong? EDWARD: No, not that - I just don’t usually see you up here during the day. WAYLON: (sad) Yeah. EDWARD: Are you alright? WAYLON: Yeah. No. Dunno. EDWARD: What’s happened? WAYLON: It’s nuthin’. Don’t you worry none ‘bout ol’ Waylon. EDWARD: Waylon. You’re sitting on a bridge, alone, in the day time, throwing stones, looking depressed. If there’s something I can help you with, I’d like to know. WAYLON: It’s - (sighs again) Had to let my chirruns go. EDWARD: Your - oh. Oh, I’m sorry. WAYLON: Yeah. EDWARD: Are they alright? WAYLON: Yeh, they fine. Thrivin’. They was jus’ big. EDWARD: Ah. I see. WAYLON: Wasn’t fair ta keep ‘em cooped up down in the sewers. They deserve ta live in the sunshine and be happy. (sniffle) But out in the sunshine is where Waylon don’t belong. EDWARD: (touched) Ohh. You poor - but you’re… okay, right? More or less? WAYLON: Yeh, sorta. Jus’ sad. Lonely. EDWARD: (attempt at chipper) I’m sure they’ll be back to see you. WAYLON: I sure hope so. They was good company... someone to gab at. Be nice if they came to visit. EDWARD: (thinking) Visit. Hmm. WAYLON: But if they forgit about me, I won’t be mad. Jus’ means they gettin’ on with their life. An’ that’s good. EDWARD: (thinking) Yes... WAYLON: Sure gonna be lonely without ‘em. Haven’t seen Jon boy in a while, neither - ol’ Waylon’s alone again. (sighs, throws a rock in the water) EDWARD: (can’t help himself) Naturally. You have an empty nest, alas. WAYLON: Dunno what I’m gonna do wit’ myself, now. EDWARD: Hm? Hah. Can’t get a much stronger argument than that. Right. Waylon! WAYLON: Yeah, Eddie? EDWARD: I have a proposition for you. WAYLON: Wha’? EDWARD: How’d you like to come on a little drive with me? WAYLON: (still sad) Sure, I guess. Where we goin’? EDWARD: Oh ho, that part’s a secret. Right now, the only detail I will impart is that it’s a long way to go. Are you game? WAYLON: What you need ol’ Waylon fo’? EDWARD: (smiling) You have - special skills. WAYLON: I does? EDWARD: Absolutely. Invaluable ones. WAYLON: Dat like useless? EDWARD: Not even close. WAYLON: Heh. What you need my special skills fo’? EDWARD: I’ll give you a hint - we’re going to find a friend. WAYLON: (concentrates) Friend… friend… EDWARD: The looming, sullen fellow? Perpetually unimpressed and glaring over his glasses like a disapproving librarian? WAYLON: (perking up) Jon boy? EDWARD: You got it. WAYLON: Haven’t seen him aroun’. Thought he jus’ got tired of seein’ me. He got away? EDWARD: I had to give him a shove in the right direction, but yes. The flight reflex that’s ingrained in people like us finally kicked in. WAYLON: I’m so happy the cops didn’t get ‘im. EDWARD: (musing) It’s an example of conditioning, I suppose - the police sirens sound, and the criminals run for the hills. WAYLON: Weren’t his fault, neither. It was all because of that Bolton. Poor li’l Ikky... EDWARD: Except the Joker of course, who just starts salivating. WAYLON: So we gon’ get Jon boy back? EDWARD: (back) Hm? Oh! Yes. But - (smiling) shh. Just between us. WAYLON: I love secrets! I won’t tell no one. EDWARD: (chuckles) Excellent. WAYLON: When do we go? EDWARD: Meet me here at daybreak tomorrow. We have no time to waste, so we’ll need to start early. WAYLON: (thrilled) Aw, this is excitin’! EDWARD: (smiling) You betcha. I’ll see you right here tomorrow - I have some arrangements to make. Bring any supplies you might need with you; it’s a long journey, and we’ll be gone for a few days. WAYLON: (excited) Okay! Waylon’ll be here with his bells on. EDWARD: (laughs) I knew this was a good idea.