EDWARD: Well, that was terrible. Let’s never do that again.

(IKKY flies off, caws)

EDWARD: Ikky! Wait! Will you… just… wait?? Oh… Oh Jon… how could you do this to
an F1?

(EDWARD opens the truck door)

EDWARD: Out of gas. Guess he took longer than expected, eh? Valentino Farm.
There’s nothing quite like the smell of pig shit, eh Ikky? Country Clean, Country Fresh
as old Gammy Nashton used to say. A kicked in door – haha, has to be Bullock. I swear
the man’s never grabbed a knob in his life. Though I suppose that’s his business.
Rieger and Moreno… that’s a shame. What’s through… kitchen. Wow… his own walkin, must keep a lot of bacon…

(EDWARD opens the freezer)

EDWARD: in…

(EDWARD closes the freezer)

EDWARD: …oh. Well… I believe I found Detective Morales. Moving swiftly on.
Basement… Basement… Oh, shit! SSssst! You there… I need to know how to get to –
JESUS! Well, that’s an interesting look. The basement. Where?

(IMPERFECT whimpers)

EDWARD: Much obliged. Now you may want to vacate the premises – it’s going to get
interesting.

(IMPERFECT refuses)

EDWARD: Yes, yes, I see it… come here. This is… hmm…

(Beep)

EDWARD: There you go. There’s a truck outside – go sit in it until the police arrive. Yes,
yes, go. Hmmm. Hennesy Four-Digit Panel Lock. Haha, I can’t believe these used to
keep people out.

(EDWARD hacks the lock, click)

EDWARD: Too easy.

(Door opens)

EDWARD: Ahhh, now we’re getting creepy. Wow… matching collars for everyone.

(Beep beep)

EDWARD: Alright - up the stairs everyone… don’t stray too far now. Police will be here
soon…ish… I hope. Fratello… must be (PIERRO crashes against the door) okay… big
and angry. I was not expecting that. Think I’m going to cash in a lifeline, Regis. What’s
in here…

(Door opens)

EDWARD: Perfect. (sighs) Adieu silk handkerchief, you have been chosen for a more
noble purpose.

(EDWARD flushes the toilet)

EDWARD: Right, now… (Crying is heard) Oh what now? You there. See any hillbilly
librarians shambling about lately?

ANYA: Please get me out of here.

EDWARD: (sighs) Fine. (Door unlocks, door opens) There.

ANYA: We have to leave, now.

EDWARD: Of course. After you, I have no idea where I’m going.

ANYA: I think if you go he– thunk

EDWARD: Aaaaand scene.

(IKKY caws)

EDWARD: Sorry, my dear, but you can’t fool a former hostage. No one can spend a
night in a cell and still smell of Bottega Veneta.

(Body dragging)

EDWARD: See, Ikky? This is why I said we should bring the cane. It’s not just aesthetics, you know.