askbibliophilebot asks: Why the animosity in regards to Doctor Crane? Is there another
layer to this? I must know.
Oh, has he been talking about me again? The old rascal. Crane is obsessed with me,
you see - it’s one of the few things we have in common. (snicker)

theload asks: Edward, you are by far the most attractive man ever to walk on the planet
Earth. So tell me, what do you search for in a mate?
Behold the green Riddling Peacock as it cocks its head and stares at you with what can
only be described as an incredulously patronising stare. As the stare burns to the back
of your head, you feel certain that you are a cluster of microbes to this splendid, solitary
creature; you are but protozoa belched out from the primordial soup. With every fibre of
your tiny being, you know that you have wasted its precious time. There will be no
mating ritual today, or indeed any day: your presence has already been forgotten.

feathasthekitten asks: Welcome Mr. Nigma. Might I inquire, do you have any role
models? Is there some figure (historical or otherwise) that you, perhaps, look up to?
There is no one like me, has never been one like me; there’s no singular figure to whom
I aspire, so you’ll have to be more specific. Example: Genius role models? Tesla or Da
Vinci. Criminal role models? None. Red-haired role models? Hmm… Leslie Howard.
Riddling role models? Not goddamn Lewis Carroll, that’s for certain. Get the idea?

Anonymous asks: Welcome to Tumblr Mr. Nygma, riddle me this. What goes round the
house and in the house but never touches the house?
Is this some kind of… handshake? Here’s that riddle guy, I’ll ask him a riddle. You’ve
plucked out some bog-ordinary riddle and presented it to me like I should be impressed,
like I haven’t seen them all before. For those among you who believe I need to prove
myself, the response is the sun; but that is simply the widely accepted answer. How
about you go find the joke guy and tell him a joke - he’s always good for a punchline.

puzzlepest asks: Mr. Riddler, would you please use that orgasm-inducing voice to say
the following words: … ?
(long laugh) Fuck off.

mistervictorfries asks: Hello Edward. Keeping tabs on the other rogues in Arkham, or
are you simply bored? In any case, it’s good to see that you’re well.
Mr. Victor Fries? Oh, please. You don’t give a damn for anyone’s status but that of frigid
Nora - I doubt you even know what year it is. And shouldn’t that be Doctor, not Mister?
Surely the great Dane would never forget his hard-earned honorific. Sounds more like
someone who operates a diner fry pan. Hop it, old sport.

Anonymous asks: After all that stuff with Jessica, do you think you’re actually capable of
being in love with someone?
I have no idea who this person is, but I wouldn’t say that thinking and infatuation go
hand in hand. Would you?

theload asks: Your views on Jobathan Crane, Mr. E?
Well, I’m a little rusty on this sort of thing, being a lapsed forced Catholic cum relentless
agnostic, but I’ll give it a try. (clears throat) Jobathan was a sneery sort of man with poor
bone structure, overlong limbs, and a squint. He took perverse pleasure in observing
the misadventures of others and made lots of notes in a little book. Satan himself,
noting this perspicacity, blessed Jobathan with even more hideous looks to allow him to
scare people on sight. In times when it wasn’t prudent to frighten people like a male
Gorgon, he resorted to a potato sack to cover his face. Terrifying all those he met
brought Jobathan greater pleasure than he had ever known, because indeed he had
never known any other. In the rare event that his appearance did not have the desired
effect, Jobathan developed a peculiar skill in alchemy, brewing a disgusting potion sure
to strike the utmost fear into the heart of his enemies, which was everyone. Now how
did it end…? Oh yes. Like all happy endings, he died alone. (chuckles) And who said
religion was boring?

Anonymous asks: So…. What are you wearing?
A look of disdain and a suit you could never afford.

tinyisrafel asks: Hello Mr. Nigma, nice to meet you, in the technological sense, of
course. I have a question. If Batman always cheats to solve your riddles and puzzles,
why do you continue testing him? Clearly his tendency to cheat marks him as a failure,
and furthermore, proves that you are intellectually superior (of course). He does not
seem to me to deserve more chances to prove his intelligence after failing to many
times, especially by choosing cheating over wit and intellect to solve them.
It’s hilarious to me that you believe a criminal would grasp at the straws of intellectual
superiority in the face of dishonesty, like dishonesty is something to be ashamed of.
(laughs; pompous) I have the moral high ground, sir! I kidnapped and imprisoned
everyone in this room, but you. You cheated. Surely I am the victor, or it’s not fair!
(laughs) Good grief, life isn’t a game of chess. A criminal who insists that others play
fair… was I so paradoxical? Look, these little exercises of mine are not to challenge his
intellectual capacity - I already know I’m best. It’s to make myself cheat-proof and thus
unstoppable, because believe it or not, I aim for goals higher than simply defeating The
Bat. In the beginning, I never sought his attention. It was him who barged into my
business. Now I use that to my advantage as he unwittingly helps me with my enquiries.
The poor thing: he simply can’t stop himself from stopping me… like a compulsion.
(chuckles)