Dungeon Master: Hello, and welcome to Rivers of Confluence! 

A raucous, sea-shanty-esque theme song swells under the sounds of laughter and dice rolling.

Dungeon Master: A loose D&D real-play podcast about five lost souls each trying to find their way in the world of Aewenor. I am Jay Keller, your dungeon master, and with me today I have…

Dungeon Master: Amanda Ranallo as Myrna.

Myrna: Bonzo, I’m gonna stuff your bra! 

Dungeon Master: Gabriel Montgomery as Alistair.

Alistair: This is a little revealing for a brothel…

Dungeon Master: Jeremy Cox as Orpheus.

Orpheus: Captain, I’m coming with you.

Dungeon Master: Max Volpert as Sable.

Sable: Aye shoot the other ship, not mine! 

Dungeon Master: Mitchell Maguire as Bonzo.

Bonzo: You not know me?... hmmm.

Myrna: I’m gonna pick his pockets!

Dungeon Master: Roll for stealth.

Orpheus: I’m coming for you.

Mitchell: Bonzo is still not wearing pants.

Alistair: What is going on?

Dungeon Master: Are you trying to hit her? 

Max: Yeah, of course I want to hit her!

Bonzo: Two naked men…

Myrna (singing): Whistle while you twerk it.

Sable: Off to the seas.

Orpheus: You’re not coming back from this mission, are you?

Alistair: If Myrna stays, I stay.

Mitchell: Nat 20!! (like an ape) Oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, ooh! 

Dungeon Master: So… where do you want to go next? 

The music of the theme song builds to a climactic ending as the trailer comes to an exciting close.