ROGUES! S07E04: DIVIDE AND CONQUER INT. ARC - JONATHAN CRANE’S OFFICE. DAY. JONATHAN I’m gonna be honest with you: I didn’t expect you to actually show up. JASON Yeah, I’m full of surprises. (thinks about it) Why not? JONATHAN I figured you’d talk yourself out of it. JASON Can’t say it won’t still happen. JONATHAN Y’know, Quinzel’s the behavourist. Maybe she’d have been a better fit for you. JASON Fuck off, I’m not goin’ anywhere near that bitch. JONATHAN What’d she do to you, say no? JASON She’s the one who got the Joker released in the first place, after they tossed him in here to rot. JONATHAN After he killed you. JASON Yeah. JONATHAN It was an historic rehabilitation, at the time. Quite the feather in her Dutch cap. If JASON knows the joke, he’s not acknowledging it. JASON He shouldn’t have even made it here. JONATHAN That’s a subject of some conjecture. JASON What, you disagree? JONATHAN Doesn’t matter what I think. What’re you doin’ here? Pause. JONATHAN (CONT'D) And don’t give me any of that “I just wanna talk” bullshit, I wasn’t born yesterday. There had to be some kind of a stressor, so what was it? JASON The Joker got let loose again. Legally this time. JONATHAN Huh. That’s news to me. JASON It was on Mayor’s orders. (scoffs) What a crock of shit. JONATHAN Rich people live by a different set of rules. JASON Is that supposed to be a jab at me? JONATHAN It’s an observation. So what, has it just now struck you that the world’s not fair and that political entities are inherently corrupt? That they’re not lookin’ out for you, and they never were? If so, I’d like to know which rock you’ve been hidin’ under for the last twenty years. JASON Gimme some credit, I knew that before I got involved in this vigilante... franchise. JONATHAN You mean as one of Bruce’s little justice puppets. JASON Call me crazy, but there’s probably something more altruistic to it than that. JONATHAN The flagship orphan takes other wretched boys under his cape, and burns a personal brand of justice into the ass of society. JASON Look, I don’t really wanna talk about Bruce. JONATHAN (weary sigh) Yes. You do. JASON Yeah, alright, fine, I do. JONATHAN So family and generational wealth came at the cost of your life. Was it worth it? JASON My death wasn’t supposed to be a part of the package. JONATHAN The possibility always existed: somethin’ of a Faustian bargain. JASON I wouldn’t call Bruce the devil. JONATHAN Never said he was, but it’s interestin’ you assumed that. Wait, you’ve read Faust? JASON (quoting, wryly) I am not omniscient, but I know a lot. JONATHAN The mask doesn’t just cover your face, I see. JASON We all have our little secrets. JONATHAN Does it help you to play pretend? JASON People listen to my voice but not my words - makes it easier to get away with things. Maybe you could relate to that. JONATHAN Maybe I could. Get back to the topic at hand. JASON Well, I guess Bruce figured I was going nowhere fast, but I almost wish he hadn’t bothered. JONATHAN Was becoming an underage vigilante part of the deal? JASON A condition, you mean? JONATHAN Yeah. JASON I wanted to do it. I wanted to be a part of it. Prove myself. Carve out my own name. JONATHAN That doesn’t answer my question. JASON The answer is that I don’t know. I don’t know what the alternative could’ve been. JONATHAN You were just a kid. Doesn’t put the legal adult in the best light. JASON I should’ve known I wouldn’t be the same big success as the second second banana. Pretty sure that’d be impossible. JONATHAN Alright, tell me about your brother, then. JASON Dick’s the one everybody loves - he makes it all look so goddamn easy. JONATHAN What is it that’s easy? JASON Living. Knowing who you are and what you are. Being happy. JONATHAN You sure he’s happy? JASON If he’s not, who the hell could be? JONATHAN Hm. Do you hate him? JASON What the hell could anybody hate about Dick? JONATHAN Again, that doesn’t answer my question. JASON No, I don’t hate him. JONATHAN But you do envy him. JASON Well yeah, of course I do. He got to have a life. JONATHAN Instead of a half-life. JASON He got to go to school, go on dates, play football, go to prom - normal shit that the good all-American boys do in the movies. JONATHAN That’s just the pedestrian stuff. What else does he have that you don’t? JASON He got to have someone care enough about him to tackle down a psychopath and save his life. JONATHAN ‘Cause no one came for you, did they? JASON No. JONATHAN They left you to die. JASON Yes. JONATHAN Bruce left you to die. JASON Yes. JONATHAN And that’s what you can’t forgive. JASON I’m trying, okay? Do you think I want to look at that man and hate how he... left me? How he let me die? He might as well’ve done it himself. It’s hard to just... stop. JONATHAN No, it isn’t. You just don’t want to stop. JASON Fuck you. JONATHAN Tell me I’m wrong. What would you be doing if you stopped hating him? JASON I don’t know. JONATHAN Because you haven’t even tried. JASON You don’t understand. JONATHAN Boy, you don’t know shit about me. I’ve put family in the ground, and if you had half as much hate in you as I did, you’d’ve done the same to the Joker a thousand times over. So what’s your excuse? JASON ... I don’t know. JONATHAN Something stops you. What is it? Too lazy? Is it just too hard? JASON (more vehement) I don’t know. JONATHAN Or maybe you’re afraid of what you’d become if you did it. If you owned up to your own fate. If you stopped blaming everyone else and took responsibility for your own damn life. Maybe you’re afraid if you did it, you’d be just like me, or worse, the Joker himself. JASON So is this how it’s gonna go? You’re just gonna talk down to me all day until I learn to love everyone? JONATHAN (snort) Hell no, I’ve got way more important things to do than listen to you bitch all day. JASON Well, bless your heart. JONATHAN Door’s over there, feel free to use it. CUT TO: INT. SYNAGOGUE. DAY. RABBI BICHLER ... And he replied, “Well, in hindsight, I probably shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.” General chuckles. RABBI BICHLER stands up, noticing HARVEY in the doorway. RABBI BICHLER (CONT'D) If you’ll excuse me, gentlemen. (closer) Harvey, my boy. I wasn’t expecting to see you until Saturday. HARVEY We know. We just... needed to talk. RABBI BICHLER Of course. Would you like to go inside? HARVEY That’s okay. Don’t wanna take too much of your time. RABBI BICHLER Well, let’s go sit down. This new knee is almost as bad as the old one. RABBI BICHLER and HARVEY take a seat at a park bench. RABBI BICHLER (CONT'D) You look troubled, my boy. What has happened? HARVEY It’s... (grunts) It’s work. We’re getting ordered around like we’re the maid or something. We worked our asses off to become the District Attorney, and now we’re just a whipping boy to that... (growls, calms)... forgive our language. RABBI BICHLER Of course, Harvey, but never forget - he who is slow to anger is better than a strong man, and he who masters his passions... HARVEY Is better than one who conquers a city. We just don’t know what to do. We feel like if we bring it up, we’ll look weak. RABBI BICHLER There is no shame in weakness, Harvey, we are all human after all, but confessing your feelings - that takes strength. Strength in your convictions. HARVEY Oh what the hell do you know? It’s easy to spout this nonsense to the gullible masses, but we’re living in the real world! It’s all just talk to you! Talk talk talk! RABBI BICHLER Harvey. HARVEY We’re... we’re so sorry. It’s been so long now and it’s just... it’s not easy. RABBI BICHLER Harvey. The path you walk is a difficult one. These challenges, they push you, they help you grow, and you will triumph. I know these are all words, but I can only steer you in the right direction. I cannot take your steps for you. HARVEY You’re right. RABBI BICHLER You confront the man, Harvey, and you speak your truth. If he meets you with grace, mazel tov. If he doesn’t, then he is a fool and he will quickly learn he is a fool, and a thing to which a fool does not consent, knows as the right thing. Be strong, but do not seek to fight - remember that Cain killed his brother in a quarrel. HARVEY Thank you, Rabbi Bichler. RABBI BICHLER You’re a good boy, Harvey, sometimes better than you should have been. HARVEY Don’t we know it. RABBI BICHLER Here - this is my home number. If you ever need to talk, please call me. We can meet for coffee, I can come to your office, whatever you’re comfortable with. Now, (grunts as he stands up) if you’ll excuse me, I have a wedding in a few hours, and I don’t move as quickly as I used to. Shalom aleichem, Harvey. God is with you. HARVEY Shalom, Rabbi Bichler. RABBI BICHLER leaves; two men appear. These are the same people who turned up to COSMO’s salon - one HEAVY to do the talking, and HEAVY 2 to do the muscle. HEAVY Well, that was just a beautiful moment there, Mr. Dent. HARVEY Can we help you with something? HEAVY Our boss would like a word. HARVEY Oh yeah? Call our office and make an appointment like everyone else. HEAVY It’s not a request. HARVEY We couldn’t give less of a fuck. Drag your sorry asses home and tell them to leave a fucking message. HEAVY Get in the car, Mr. Dent, before things get bloody. HARVEY flips his coin. HARVEY Sorry boys, (cracks knuckles) not your lucky day. CUT TO: INT. GOTHAM MEMORIAL. DAY. Heart monitor beeping; respirator sounds. JASON (reading) “At this point of the inquiry, Oliver raised his head; and looking round with imploring eyes, murmured a feeble prayer for a draught of water.” DICK wakes up, choking on the respirator. JASON (CONT'D) Oh shit! Nurse! No wait, I saw this once on TV. (excited) I always wanted to do this: okay, just breathe out real hard when I - Respirator pulled; DICK coughs, falls back against the bed, winces: then calms down. JASON (CONT'D) (beaming) Hey man. DICK (wheeze) Hey. A NURSE sticks her head in. NURSE Is everything alright in here? JASON Totes. Wards of the state will (clapping his hands) Get. It. Done. NURSE Did you - is he? JASON Back and feelin’ prime? You know it, sister. NURSE (sighs) I’ll get a doctor. DICK Doctor, eh? What a concept. JASON Hey, I took first aid in high school. ‘Sides, that was awesome. DICK I’ll take your word for it. JASON (matter of fact) You look like shit. DICK (sniffing) And you smell like it. When was the last time you had a showe- wait. How long have I been down? JASON A while, but don’t worry - your much handsomer big brother was here for you. DICK I’m older than you. JASON I guess. DICK And taller. JASON Not in heels. DICK laughs. Winces. JASON (CONT'D) Easy there, man. Don’t push yourself. DICK Were you reading to me? JASON Huh? Oh, yeah. DICK What was it - ah. Oliver Twist. Hilarious. JASON Just keepin’ it on theme - you know how I roll. DICK Pretty sure Mr. Brownlow didn’t leave Oliver to die in the rain. JASON You remember that, huh? DICK is silent. JASON (CONT'D) It definitely wasn’t our finest hour. DICK I remember, uh - flashes. Did Waylon - JASON Fuck up Zsasz seven ways to Sunday? You bet he did - you’re a lucky little orphan to have that guy on your side. DICK Yeah, no, did he bring me here? JASON Yeah. Fucked up Zsasz, fucked up Bruce, and got you here just in time for modern medicine to beat out necromancy. DICK Are you okay? JASON You know me man, never took a direct hit. Few bruises, few bullet holes, business as per youge. (usual) DICK Jase. JASON I’m fine. I just - I’m glad you’re back. I missed your dumb ass. DICK I’m sorry if I worried you. JASON God, you’re such a Boy Scout. You should be working with Superman. DICK So if we were on Fourth and Main, then this is Gotham Memorial? JASON You were in gen pop, but Batty Warbucks moved you to the Thomas Wayne Memorial Wing, where only the best and brightest are on life support. DICK I don’t want to be here. JASON No one wants to be in the hospital, D. Unless they’ve got some kinda fetish. DICK No, I don’t want to be here. I want to go back downstairs. The last thing I need is to feel - JASON Beholden? DICK Yeah, that. You’ll tell them, yeah? JASON I got you, man. Don’t even worry about it. DICK Can you tell Barbara, too? JASON She’s been watching on comms, she’s probably on her way already. DICK Then, maybe - JASON The big man and I aren’t on talking terms right now. You’re my brother, and I love you, but don’t push your goddamn luck. DICK I was going to say Waylon, Jase, if you’d let me get a sentence in. Can you tell Waylon I’m alright? JASON Oh shit yeah, I’ll bring him some pizza and a sixer. Make his week. DICK Thank you. JASON No problem, Dickory Dock. Now you get rested: Doctor Todd’s orders. DICK Alright, but only ‘cause you’re a doctor. JASON I guess the graffiti in the bathroom was right - it is hard to keep a good dick down. DICK (laughs) Ow. Laughing is bad. No laughing. JASON That’s my cue to skedaddle, then. (aside) Take care of him while I’m gone, alright doc? Disapproving hum from the doctor. DICK Jase, stop nagging the professionals and go take a bath. For your brother, who loves you. JASON Yeah, I’m gone, I’m gone. CUT TO: EXT. GOTHAM CITY. DAY. EDWARD is running errands, singing under his breath as he walks; he comes to an abrupt stop when two men block his path. EDWARD You boys on the same team? HEAVY Mr. Nygma. EDWARD Hmm. (persona intensifies) Heavyset build, hands like banana bunches - either you’re the least likely autograph hunters I’ve encountered yet, or... HEAVY Or what? EDWARD You’re some of Harper’s goons here to complete the next logical step in the well-trod dance that Oswald refused to acknowledge - the kidnap and sequester of a valuable member of Mayor Penguin’s coterie. HEAVY 2 What’s he sayin’? HEAVY I dunno, he talks like he’s on the fuckin’ radio. EDWARD There goes my joke about whom should I make it out to. (sighs) I really should start carrying some kind of buzzer for unsatisfying responses. Perhaps an air horn, applied directly to the face - that would be effective. HEAVY Look, this can go one of two ways, Mr. Nygma. EDWARD (swiftly) Is one of them the hard way? HEAVY There’s the easy way, and the - for fuck’s sake. Just get him. Footsteps of approach; EDWARD holds up his hands. EDWARD Or, or, here’s a thought, you could put the manhandles away, since I have no intention of putting up a fight. HEAVY 2 You’re not? EDWARD Categorically, I’m not. HEAVY What are ya, some kinda coward? EDWARD Not remotely, but I am a practical man. I know a foregone conclusion when I see one, and I’ve also been kidnapped enough times to long for the part here we skip the heavy blow to the head and the fists to the face. Especially with a face such as mine - (gestures) can you really blame me? HEAVY Easy way it is, then. EDWARD Besides, from the looks of you, it I’d say you’ve already had someone put up a fight. Maybe even two someones. HEAVY Funny guy. Car door opens; they get in and slam the doors shut. HEAVY (CONT'D) For a guy who doesn’t want to get hit in the head, you sure make a guy wanna hit you in the head. EDWARD What can I say, I’m a people person. (looks around) What, no seatbelts? If I go through your windshield, I’m suing the corduroy off all your asses. HEAVY Shut up. END.