Meet Aaron (What a nice surprise…)

Here I am, Gianni: I'm ready to go.
Even early, honey! It's better this way, we'll have more time for ourselves. I'll put on my jacket and we'll leave right away.
What car are we going with?
What questions, puppy: with the Smart. Otherwise how can I photograph it?
Ah, I thought it was already there.
And how did it get there? With the power of thought? No, I went to pick it up personally yesterday afternoon at the dealership: it's parked a few meters from here, haven't you seen it?
No Gianni, I didn't notice. After all, it's easily camouflaged, it's only half a car.
Oh, again with this story of the car being sawed in two… You'll like it, you'll see.
I doubt it, it's not my genre.
Actually your genre is more like a slightly battered old off-road vehicle.
Damn! My Suzuki is in perfect shape.
Yeah, come on, I was kidding. Don't take everything personally...
Well, well. I didn't think you were joking.
Darling, you know it drives me crazy to see you arrive on the back of your old and faithful steed: you are my favorite knight, every time you stop under my window you give me a shiver of emotion.
Will you let me know when you're done taking the piss out of me?
How could I take the piss out of my little marmot? I wish I could... But we both know that's not possible and we love each other anyway.
Yeah okay. But the surprise you were telling me about?
It's waiting for us at the bar down here, my love. Come, you'll be amazed.
(They go down the stairs. Noise of cars and city traffic. They enter the bar.)
Here we are, Aaron: are you ready to go?
Yes, sure.
Emmanuel, meet Aaron. Aaron, this is Emmanuel.
Nice to meet you, Emmanuel.
Well, little puppy, aren't you going to say hello to him?
I... yeah, sure. Hi, Aaron.
Shall we go?
Let's go.
I'll pay the bill, you can start going. Wait for us out here and follow our car.
Okay.
(Aaron exits, Gianni pays the bill and exits with Emmanuel.)
Aaron follows us on his motorbike: the Smart Fortwo, as the name suggests, is only for two people. After all, it's a beautiful sunny day and he has a Yamaha YZFR1 that is out of this world. I pay for his gas, of course.
I understand.
Come on, get in the car: do you want to drive or would you prefer me to drive?
You drive, Gianni: I can barely fit in this thing.
Exaggerated.
(He starts the engine and they take off. The Yamaha roars behind them. A few minutes of silence.)
So, honey, have you lost your tongue? What about the surprise?
I'm speechless, Gianni: he's a spectacular hunk.
Isn't he creepy? He's a Canadian Métis, a Menominee to be precise, from the Algonquin family, so to speak. You know, they're famous for some of their crazy-beautiful traditions: for example, once a year two virgins marry fishing nets.
In what sense do they marry them?
Ritually, puppy: how else? Fishing nets, as far as I know, have no sexual organs. Then they cultivate the myth of the hero Gluskap, who freed the waters seized by the dragon.
Do they use drugs?
Their shamans certainly do, as do all sorcerers.
No, I'm just saying in general: I've rarely heard more insane things in my life.
Don't you feel captivated by these ancient traditions?
No, I don't feel captivated.
What a hard heart you have, my love: after all, I already knew that. However, that's not all: they make symmetrical geometric designs, for example double spirals, and their culture is centered on birch bark.
Really exciting.
All this however does not justify the permanence in the Canadian reserves of a star hunk like Aaron. He is of a suicidal beauty. Look at him now in the rearview mirror: Daniel Day-Lewis effect in “The Last of the Mohicans”, stops the heart in the chest.
Yep. Truly breathtaking.
And so he thought, rightly, of trying his hand at a career as a model and came to Milan. As soon as I saw his portfolio, I called the agency and said bluntly: “This boy is mine”. Imagine if I would let an opportunity like this slip away: this guy breaks the screen, he tears the lens apart.
Undoubtedly. May I know, then, what need you had of me today?
Love marmot, but what are you doing to me, are you acting haughty and offended? Are you angry with me because there is another beautiful in my life?
Gianni, I simply asked you a question and I would like an answer: what purpose do I have today? Or if you prefer: did you make me come here just to show me your latest conquest?
What if it were? I love sharing my stuff with you, you know.
Thank you, but I ask you to keep some things to yourself.
Come on, my little woodchuck, don't give me that ugly face...
You once asked me to make an “ugly ugly” face.
And in fact I still love it like crazy! I can't tell you what I would do to that capricious little mouth.
Nothing at all, I'd say, judging by the night we spent together.
Oh, that night… My dear puppy, I can’t forget it. But that’s because I love you: if I didn’t love you I would do the worst things to you, believe me.
Curious logic, but oh well, I'll pretend to believe you.
It's not at all curious. I think you're too young to have seen a film from many years ago, "The beautiful Antonio", based on a novel by Brancati: if you had seen it you would understand many things.
No, I haven't seen it: I'll look for it somewhere and watch it calmly.
But let's get to the point. No, love, I didn't bring you here just to show off my latest conquest, as you call it: you are and will remain my favorite marmot, so today you will take pictures with Aaron.
I mean, let me get this straight: would you think of fielding two guys who are six feet tall to sponsor a city car the size of a mouse?
Yes sweetie!
What's the point? It's stupid, sorry to say: a really cool guy with a spectacular body goes around on a Yamaha, exactly like he does, not on a Smart! And on top of that with another guy? And what exactly are two like us doing together on a Smart?
Don't you get it? It's a great publicity stunt! That's exactly what everyone will be wondering: "what the hell do these two have to do with the Smart?" And they will start to come up with the most imaginative hypotheses, eventually landing on the most obvious one: they're gay and they're there to have sex! And that's it.
What? Are you out of your mind? Two people that tall having sex in a Smart? We couldn't do it even by reclining the seat, come on, what bullshit.
Yes, darling. The absurdity is the key to everything: everyone will think of the terrible effort those two poor boys will make to undress each other in there, tearing their clothes with their teeth and banging their elbows against all the corners, and they will deduce that only a blind and overwhelming erotic passion can push them to knock down all those obstacles.
Or, more simply, they will deduce that they are going to fuck in a motel and that's it.
No, darling, because they can't resist: the urgency of passion has overwhelmed them. In short, an advertisement like this certainly won't go unnoticed. And then we'll play a lot on ambiguity: he's so dark and sinister, a young and beautiful demon, who holds a defenseless blond angel with an ugly ugly little face...
No listen, Gianni, I don't want to do this bullshit: just think if my parents or Antonia see it...
You'll make a lot of money, my love.
Oh well, I'll have to work as a bricklayer for a while longer. I don't feel like prostituting myself.
Sweetie, please don’t give me this grief… I already have the whole photoshoot in my mind, shot by shot. I really care about it, you know? For me it’s a great career opportunity. And the place where we’re going is fantastic, you’ll love it.
Gianni, damn, you're really asking too much of me...
Little little little maaaarmooot....
All right, I don't want to disappoint you.
I love you, little one.
Eh, I love you too, otherwise I would have already sent you packing.
Oh, one thing: Aaron doesn't speak Italian, so I'll have to address you two in English.
It's not a problem, I understand it very well.
If we have to say something personal we can do it in Italian, since he doesn't understand a thing.
Agree.

Here we are in Montevecchia, guys: thirty kilometers from Milan, and it's like being out of this world!
Fantastic, Gianni! It's really beautiful.
I knew you'd like it, darling. Now let's get to work. So guys, now Aaron leans on the Smart with his left arm and looks out of the corner of his eye at Emmanuel who is lying on the hood of the car.
Sorry, what the fuck am I doing lying on the hood?
Do the sexy thing, darling, that's what you do best… Stop like that, good… Aaron, shake your hair and smile… you have the smile of a god…
(Noise of shots)
Now take off your shirts.
Do we have to take off our shirts? And why?
Yeah, why?
It's hot! Now stand next to each other, Emmanuel in profile, pretending not to notice the other, Aaron with his arms crossed with the look of a feline ready to pounce… Very good, that's it! You are gorgeous… Now, Emmanuel, lie down on your stomach on the hood.
But again?
No, love, not again: before you were on your back, now instead on your stomach. Which means with your bottom up, you know?
Sure, right. Damn, it's hot!
Put the shirt underneath, it can't be seen in the photo.
Nice ass, bro…
Thank you, Aaron.
Now with the sanctuary background, guys: it's magnificent.
What?
With the backdrop of the sanctuary. Stop guys, the cyclists are passing by again… This place is a fairy tale, but it is literally infested with cyclists.
(Noise of shots)
That's it, lunch break. In the afternoon we start taking pictures again, but this time with the mysterious pyramids as a backdrop.
Which pyramids?
There are pyramids of mysterious origin in this area: you will see them soon.
Okay.
Where are we going to eat?
Let's eat at Pasqualino, honey: it's a very famous tavern in the area. They prepare excellent risottos: yellow risotto and sausage, risotto with porcini mushrooms, with rocket, with osso bucco…
As you can see, there's food even for vegetoleens like you.
Vegetoleens?
Yes, why? Aren't you a vegetoleen? And then from the terrace of the place you can enjoy a spectacular view with a backdrop of Milan.
You know what, Gianni? It's always an extraordinary pleasure to have lunch with you.
The pleasure is all mine, guys. Let's go.
(They walk towards their transportation.)
You're really cool, buddy, do you know?
You're super cool too, Aaron, but unfortunately I'm strictly straight.
Well, I'm strictly bisexual.
Strictly?
Yeah, strictly.
(Later, at the restaurant)
What a fantastic view, Gianni!
Yes, from up here you can see all of Brianza.
You were right, it was worth coming here. And then we ate very well: I especially liked that cheese cooked in the pan, a real delicacy.
(A smiling young waitress arrives.)
Everything OK?
Very good, thank you.
Would you like something sweet?
Me, yes!
Yeah, me too.
As you can see, the boys have a robust twenty-year-old appetite
I see… and "what" twenty-year-olds!!!
Yep, not bad. What do you have for dessert?
We have homemade desserts: I recommend the tiramisu, it's our specialty.
Let's go for the tiramisu.
What is “tiramisoo”?
It is a spoon dessert, sweet Aaron, made with ladyfingers soaked in coffee and covered with a cream made from mascarpone, eggs and sugar, with some liqueur.
Do you like it, Emmanuel?
Yes, I like it very much: it's delicious.
Delicious like you?
Oh no, much more.
I don't think it's possible.
Oh well…
(The waitress arrives)
Here are your tiramisu!
Thank you dear.
(Shortly after, in front of the pyramids)
A real oddity, don't you think? The shape of these hills has nothing natural about it.
No, actually they are really strange.
They look like step pyramids like those of the Aztecs.
Yes, Aaron.
But what do scholars think about it?
They don't agree, little rat. Some insist that these are natural formations, but they don't look like it, especially since one of the pyramids showed clear traces of stone blocks assembled by humans.
To me they don't seem to be of natural origin at all.
A group of researchers from the Czech Republic have claimed that the pyramids are aligned with the passage of Orion at dawn on the summer solstice: like those of Giza, only these are much older.
Older?
Yes, marmot. Don't forget that we are only about eighty kilometers from the famous cave paintings of Val Camonica. But enough with the archaeological curiosities and let's get to work: I want you bare-chested again, but this time Aaron must hold Emmanuel in his arms as if he wanted to crush him, and Emmanuel must make that usual little face that he knows, a little scared, like a young girl at her first intercourse.
Ooookay…
Come on, Emmanuel, I'll hold you tight, tight.
Don't overdo it though.
Just enough to make you feel my body.
Oh boy…
(Noise of shots)
Fantastic, you two are so sexy. Aaron, bite his neck… like this… and you, Emmanuel, hold still for a bit, you're making my photos all blurry!!
Hey, easy on the bites!
I'll eat your neck like a vampire.
Emmanuel, let yourself go in his arms… look into his eyes as if you wanted to enter his pants…
In the eyes as if I wanted to get into his pants? Are you stoned?
Oh listen, don't argue about everything! Today you're unbearable, you love marmot, you know that? It looks like a tarantula stung you, you even look bad in photos.
Eh, it will be the comparison…
Don't talk nonsense. Stop, like this…
What is “love marmot”?
Nothing, leave it alone, it's a bullshit that Gianni always tells me.
Are you his boyfriend?
No, I'm not.
Better this way.
(Some time later)
Alright guys, we're done: you were amazing, I can't find any adjectives to describe you. This photoshoot is the bomb, it's really going to make a splash!
May I leave?
Sure, love, but remember: come back to my office tomorrow, we're certainly not finished here.
Perfect, that's what I was hoping for. And him? Will he be there tomorrow?
No, he won't tomorrow. Maybe another time.
I hope to see you again soon, boy: I like you very much. Let me hug you.
Thanks, Aaron. Bye!
(Aaron hugs Emmanuel, gets on the Yamaha, starts the engine and drives off.)
Shall we go, darling?
Let's go.
(They get into the Smart. Gianni starts the engine and drives off. Silence for a few minutes.)
Why so quiet?
I don't feel like talking.
Are you angry?
Gianni, let's be clear: if you don't need me anymore, tell me to my face. You gave me the number of another photographer, I'll contact him.
Oh no, darling, how did such a ridiculous idea come into your head?
Eh, I wonder how it came to my mind. Tomorrow you see Aaron again because “you're certainly not finished with him”, while “maybe I'll come back another time”. Look, I understand English perfectly.
But that's because with you I've already established a stable relationship, darling, while with him it's just begun and I still have to consolidate it. That's all.
Oh, that's all.
Yes, that's all.
Do you think I'm an idiot? It's obvious from a mile away that you want to take him to bed!!
Well, I don't deny that actually, if I could, I would like to. But unfortunately at my age, and with physical means, let's say, in the norm, I certainly can't aspire to such a lofty goal. Maybe if I were very rich, or very powerful... You know, guys like Aaron are sensitive to that kind of flattery. Let's say they let themselves be bought easily.
Are you telling me that you don't sleep with him just because you can't, but if you could, you would?
Of course I would.
Ah. And what would Massimiliano think about it?
Oh, he would understand: he cheated on me several times too. You know, in gay relationships, fidelity is a pure hypothesis.
I mean, him yes and me no! I'm only good for sleeping.
But why are you so nervous, darling?
I can't have sexual instincts, no! Mine are something low and vulgar: you told me to go to the bathroom and jerk off if I really wanted to, do you remember? You offended me to death that time.
It was just a tease, puppy: I knew perfectly well you wouldn't do it.
But with Aaron it's different, I guess. With him you can.
I've already explained it to you, I can't do it with you, because I have deep feelings for you.
I see. And tell me, which of the two would be the male?! Because you know, I'm starting to suspect that that's the problem!
You're off track, love: I don't like the passive role with boys.
Gianni, you're shit!!
But Mickey Mouse…
Mickey Mouse my ass! You're kidding me, I can't stand it. Take me to my car, I want to get out of here asap.
Baby, listen: it was purely theoretical. We both know that I could never aspire to a guy like Aaron. You, on the contrary…
Me what?
I saw how he hugged you, how he looked at you while we were taking pictures, while we were at the restaurant… And I heard his jokes about your little ass and how beautiful you are. Little marmot, he likes you!
Huh. So what?
Well then, go for it! You will never have another opportunity like this. Go for it in the arms of that wonderful elk from the Canadian tundra, and let him make you his! It will be a wonderful experience for you, and I will live it through you. And the erotic tension that will arise between my two arctic animals will be a formidable subject for my shots… But what are you doing?
Stop!!
Are you crazy? You open the door while driving?
Stop this fucking machine!!!
What are you doing? Are you vomiting?... Are you feeling nauseous, little one? Maybe I was going too fast on the curve…
(Gianni stops the Smart. Emmanuel jumps out of the car and runs down the road waving his arms and making the hitchhiking sign. The screech of a lorry can be heard.)
Hey kid, are you out of your mind? I was about to hit you!
Please, can you take me to Milan? Or wherever you like, just give me a ride.
I'm going to Milan right now. Jump on. What's going on?
Nothing, I was in the Smart with that guy, but…
He put his hands on you, huh?
No, not really. Please go.
(The driver restarts the truck. Gianni, incredulous and desolate, shouts from the window.)
Emmanuel, puppy, love!
(Emmanuel sticks his head out the window.)
What did you take me for, for a whore?? Guardian angel of a fuck!
Where are you going? Please, come back here!
Fuck you, Gianni. Fuck you!!
(The truck starts up again)
“Puppy, love”… I get it, a serial molester.
Eh, let’s call him that. Thanks for the ride.
You’re welcome, boy.
(Gianni chases the truck, honking and calling Emmanuel. Emmanuel’s cell phone rings: he looks at the number and blocks the call.)
And he insists, I see.
Yeah, but I’m not going to answer. If you don’t mind, I’ll call home.
You’re welcome, go ahead.
(Emmanuel dials a number)
Mayra? I'll be back in a couple of hours. How did Bella do? I'm glad. I'm in pieces. Run me a hot bath, please. Don't worry, everything is fine… See you in a bit.
(He hangs up. Sound of the truck driving away.)