INTRO
SATAH: Welcome to Folio, an actual play podcast about solo and epistolary TTRPGs. I'm your host, Satah. My goal is to showcase multiple experiences of self-paced games by inviting guests to play them alongside me so I can compile our stories together. You can support the show financially at patreon.com/foliopod or join as a free member to get access to the bonus podcast feed.
Because it is my birthday month, I decided that I want this month's stream to be public but paid patrons still have a chance to vote on which adversary I'm going to face in Cycles of the Eye, the Citizen Sleeper TTRPG.
This is episode 4 of our games of Immanence, a game on a colony ship a thousand years in the future about "exploring our individual and collective relationships with Earth, each other, ourselves, and the greater universe" by Marcus Hose.
With me again are Jam Edwards, who would like to plug touching a physical object during trying times, and garbageface aka gnostic front aka Karol Orzechowksi, who would like to plug supporting DIY music, supporting DIY spaces, and doing what you can to look out for each other.
Our journeys are nearly at an end. We woke up out of cryo sleep nearly a week ago, and we are only two days from arriving at our destination. Dawn of the final days, 48 hours remain. Let's go.
GAME: DAY SIX
MORNING
JAM: Okay, day six.
GF: It's the morning of day six. We're getting close now.
SATAH: So last night, an indie theater here in Ottawa started a new, like, regular screening series that they're calling The Zone that is exploring, uh, arthouse sci-fi, and their first screening was Solaris, the Tarkovsky movie. And so last night I spent three hours just really marinating in, uh, 70s Soviet Union sci-fi aesthetics, and halfway through the movie I was like, "Holy fuck, I'm so excited to go home and finish the game of Immanence." Um, but that movie is three hours long, and so I was very tired. [Laughs] So I'm– I'm doing it this morning, but just like, when it comes to it, absolutely just at least imagine that somebody in the background of these shots is wearing, like, an inexplicable slutty little yellow mesh tank top under a leather jacket with strappy flight suit pants, and just touching a bunch of buttons and- and- and flicking switches and recovering video and audio logs, etc.
[Laughing] Not gonna totally pivot here on day six, but it does feel relevant to the– uh, I don't… uh– oddity- oddity corner? What was that place called? Yeah, the oddity block. That's definitely– the entire station around Solaris is one big oddity block.
Let's see what happens in the morning of day six.
JAM: For the morning, the roll is eighteen. Oh, okay. "The VR Arboretum is hosting your favorite natural landscape again. Do I go? Where on Earth is the landscape? How long do I stay and what do I see?"
So am I again looking at rock formations in Ireland? Um, or are we somewhere else? Um, or do I go? No, I think- I think I sleep in. I think I'm, um, um, yeah. I think I- I skip that on this day. I think I'm– I pulled an all-nighter and now I'm sleeping in on- on the morning of- of day six.
GF [TEXT TO VOICE VERSION]: "Another passenger leaves the area you're in as soon as you arrive. Where are you? Do you know them?"
GF: This morning I really want to go to the VR suite and I want to put on- put on the VR goggles and have a little experience of, um, doing one of my favourite activities, which is quartz painting. Uh, I actually don't have my quartz painting materials with me, um– we had very strict requirements for what we could bring with us, and because there will be quartz painting supplies, uh, when I arrive, uh, on Mercury, I wasn't able to bring my painting supplies and so I'm gonna- I'm gonna put on the VR goggles and do some painting.
But when I get- when I get to the VR suite, another passenger leaves as soon as, uh, as soon as I get there. I don't- I don't know them, uh, but I know that they're one of the other sort of artsy types that's part of this cultural exchange and I don't know who they are. Maybe they're another painter, maybe they feel- maybe they feel jealous of my achievements. Or maybe they think I'm a hack.
SATAH: [Die clattering] Five. Ah, yes! "Another passenger steps out of a VR suite, leaving it vacant in a single seat concert hall configuration. Do you use it? What do you listen to if you do?"
[Thoughtful sigh] So last time this happened, I continued watching, like, the- the orchestra that they had been watching.
Ohh, so– uh, not yesterday, but the day before, my childhood friend, the- the- the one– the- the black hole engineer invited me to the emo night karaoke for that one, uh, future MCR-alike band. And I like the idea that I am going to watch a concert of theirs and there's, like, there's a specific memory tied to it.
I'm not sure if it's a show that I went to 'cause that doesn't seem strictly likely. Maybe it's a show that she invited me to when we were kids and I was going to go, but I couldn't for some reason. Probably if– if I was looking at thematically in our lives, it seems like, you know, she has her thing where she didn't want to get stuck in academia and sort of ejected herself and went and became a more hands-on engineering type. And I'm– I've definitely been in… no. I was trying to see if there was a mirror there. Like she went to the concert and I skipped to do homework. But I think, like– there isn't actually a mirror there because it sounds like I've kind of been working with my hands– I happen to be in a– I happen to be in a science that is very physical, right? Like, she could be doing theoretical black hole physics and the like, but I happened– I went into something that was very physical. And so I don't quite have the same thing there.
What– why didn't I go? Could be something as simple as I got sick, parents wouldn't let me… we could have been in a fight? 'Cause I think the idea that I have here is that like, you know, I've been thinking about that. I've been like, "Oh, yeah, uh, she did really love that band. Oh, yeah, I remember she even went to that concert and I didn't go." And then I,like, load it up or- or a– a facsimile [Stumbling over the pronunciation of that word]- facsimile- facsimile of it. And- and watch that and be like, "[Pleased] Ugh," partially so that I– if I see her again, I can be like, "I see why you became such a big fan," like, "I would have been too, if I'd been there."
Maybe the reason doesn't matter. Yeah. I'm getting too caught on it, I think so it– 'cause- 'cause the other ideas would be like, it was something that was like a rift in our friendship, right? Like, she went with other friends and that kind of caused us to start drifting away from each other?
Oh, I like that, actually, specifically because… I like the idea that I forgot about that. Like, so she went to the show and she went with other friends and I was like, "[Judgmentally] Okay." And we, like, started to kind of drift apart. And that's one of the reasons why we didn't, like, keep in touch when we ended up living in other cities and that kind of thing, because there had been a little bit of a schism driven into the friendship there.
And I don't remember that until I tell her. I'm like, "Oh, I went and I finally watched that concert!"
And she's like, "Oh, that must be a big relief. You were so mad."
And I'm like, "I was?"
And she, like, looks at me in confusion, like, kind of delighted confusion is like, "Yeah! That basically, like, broke our friendship. At least that's how I thought of it," and she talks about how she, like, leaned in really hard to the band. She did genuinely love them, but also she was like– there was a tiny aspect of it that was like, "Well, fine. If it's such a big deal that I go and see this band, then I guess it's a huge part of my identity."
And I tell her like– and I, like, kind of like laugh in disbelief and I'm like, "Oh my god, you're right! I was so mad at you! That's so funny because over the years, whenever I think about that band, I've thought about you, and it's just been totally warm as a memory for me. Like, I'll be like, 'Oh, future-MCR! Oh, my friend- my childhood friend really liked them. Aww. I hope that she's doing okay,' with, like, no memory of the negative feelings that it had caused."
And that's just kind of a fun… I don't know, there's something– I like the idea that I've been misremembering and miscategorising that. And she admits, like, "When I saw you, I was worried you'd still be mad. I hoped not, because it's been twenty-five years, but you never know."
And I just, like, I'm shaking my head laughing and just being like, "Nope, you're lucky! I replaced all of those memories with the, uh– with the- the Latin names for specific genuses of plants, et cetera."
And then she's like, "Great show, right?"
And I'm like, "Yeah."
[Giggling] Yeah. That's it.
AFTERNOON
GF: It's the afternoon. [Die rolling] "There's a number of kitchen staff taking orders…"
Oh yeah, I know what I'd like today. In the late 2900s, scientists isolated protein from water. And you might be saying to yourself, "Protein from water? That's unpossible." Well, it was, before twenty-nine hundred and… and eighty-two. But in 2982, some scientists isolated protein from water and created something called aquabacon.
Aquabacon is delicious. Tastes just like real bacon. It's got the crunch, it's got the snap, it's got the smokiness, it's got everything you want. And I'm ordering myself an aquabacon and tomato sandwich, thank you very much.
SATAH: Afternoon. [Die clattering] I touched the die so I don't- I don't– I can't count that one. [Die clattering] Okay. "Several isolation suites are open. Feel free to use one."
I'm just going to scroll down and remind myself what the isolation suites are. "These compact suites serve as a space to be alone with oneself or others capable of sensory deprivation upon request, inaccessible from the outside once occupied, except in the case of emergencies to allow entrance to certified and vetted emergency personnel."
I don't think I need that. I think that I spent the first few days of this week very alone. And obviously there is… a difference between being alone but also still having the sensory experience of, uh, being surrounded by other people in a way that can be overwhelming, but I don't think that that's a huge issue for me, and I think I don't really need– that isn't, like, a mode of recovery I need. I need more people around.
And there is clearly, like, you can bring someone else in there for whatever reasons you want to be alone with somebody. But… not that there isn't anybody who I wouldn't want to have some kind of, like, private alone time with, whether to, like, sleep together or scheme or whatever, but I don't think that I have anything to the extent that I would need that intense level of privacy.
'Cause, like, presumably people still, like, have sex in their bunks, right? You're not always, like, going to an isolation room just to hook up with somebody.
I'm scrolling to look at what it says about the bunks. Yeah, everybody has private rooms or can if they want. So yeah, yeah. I don't think there's anything that I need that particular type of privacy or sensory deprivation slash just quiet time for. I think I'm good.
JAM: The afternoon of day six is an eight. Oh boy. "A stranger is alone in the engine room, crying in the ambient light of the fusion reactor. If you ask them what's wrong, they will say, 'Nothing.' Do you say anything? Do you acknowledge them at all? Why do you think they're upset?"
Hoo. Yeah. So I've rolled out a bit a little bit late. I'm a little bit out of sorts and I'm just going to check the appendix for the engine room to see if there– anything else makes sense here. "Engineering is the heart of the ship, a glowing cold fusion reaction that powers everything from the ion engines to the nightlights. Reaction itself sits behind several radiation proof domes and fields that refract the light it produces bathing the surrounding area in soft, undulous light that ranges in hue from pink to violet."
Um… I'm curious why I went to the engine room. I do think because– the way that the light was described there, I think there is some appeal to that. I'm having this slower morning and- and maybe just looking for parts of the ship that I haven't explored yet. And I think the engine room is also really appealing because it is another place that I couldn't go on Earth. It's not, like, trying to recreate an Earth thing. This is sort of grounding me in the feeling of being in space.
And so Hill is heading to the engine room and there is a stranger alone there crying in that beautiful ambient light.
I think, us being the only two person there, it is so awkward for me to not acknowledge them. I do maybe say, like, "Hi…" Um, they're crying– I think I would say, "Are you okay?"
And they probably just say, "Yeah."
Why do I think they're upset? I don't know. I don't know why they're upset. And that's fine. I think- I think- yeah, I will say, "Are you okay?"
They'll say, "Yeah."
I might say, "Do you want me to leave?"
And I think they'll say, "No, it's fine."
And so I'll stay for a little bit, um, and, you know, walk around the engine room, look at- look around at the stuff. Um, I think I'm- as Hill, I'm probably trying not to speculate about why they're upset. I don't know that I– I- I think about introducing myself. I decide not to. I- I think about, like, what I would want if it was me and trust them at their word and- and, um, don't- don't leave immediately, spend awhile, but also don't- don't engage them much more than that.
Um, if I have a little pack of tissues in my pocket, which often, as- as Jam, in my real life, I do, I- I think Hill would offer them a tissue if they have anything on them, but that's as far as it goes.
And let's roll for the evening on this day.
EVENING
GF: It's the evening.
SATAH: Let's see what I get up to this evening. [Die clattering] Four. "The evening traffic simulator is running at the racetrack. Traffic is bumper to bumper, but you can leave whenever you like. Do you partake? What car do you replicate?" This one is so funny to me.
No, I don't partake. Um. What do I do instead? Maybe this is when I meet up with my childhood friend, the chaos doctor, and talk to her about the concert that I saw earlier this morning. And, uh, the traffic simulator can be the background.
It's the kind of thing where, um– she has noticed certain energy anomalies when this simulation is running and she wants to like observe and know why, which luckily for us, kind of takes the form of like a pleasant stroll around the block. [Laughs] Looking at cars, looking at people, and just talking, while she probably has, like, a machine in both hands– and has deputised me to carry one– that are just, like, recording the output of something so that she can further analyze it. And she'll notice– you know, there might be certain like visual things that she can notice, but mostly we're just walking around recording energy signatures for data and talking about… the conversation I described earlier about our- our childhood schism and the band.
GF: [Die rolling] It's sleepaway night at the museum block.
I decide to participate because I haven't actually been to the museum block yet on this trip and I always really like going.
The museum block aboard the TCS Lone Ranger is, uh, actually a museum- a cowboy museum. It's the intergalactic cowboy museum. Although, let's be honest, it largely focuses on the cowboy exploits of Earth because most other planets in the intergalactic system… uh, well, one, didn't have cows and two, mmm, didn't have boys, exactly. And so the cowboy museum largely revolves around cowboy exploits of earth, but it's got some really, really cool exhibits in there.
And I– as much as I had very many disagreements with his politics, I sleep in the Ronald Reagan exhibit. The- the Gipper.
I think that was his nickname. The Gipper. Let me see– [Typing] the Gipper. Whoa, weird. Oh, Ronald Reagan played the Gipper. Okay, the Gipper was an American football player named George Gipp and I guess Ronald Reagan played this guy.
Anyway, it doesn't- doesn't matter. Ronald Reagan also played a whole bunch of cowboys and there is, uh, a bunch of statues of him playing cowboys, and again, I did not agree with his politics, uh, even though I was born about a thousand years, uh, after they mattered, but I do really love some of those old cowboy movies and that's where I sleep.
JAM: That's an eleven for the evening. It's more food. It's more food. Okay– this is kind of great because this is– for one to roll multiple times, this is one that it makes sense that I would be doing every day.
So we've done the sort of cautious pick of just, like, good pizza. We've done a more indulgent pick of, like, big weird breakfast.
I think having had a good night's sleep now, maybe in a little bit more of a stable mood and having the, like, slightly weird experience this morning and not really having anyone to talk to about that– not that, like, I necessarily need to debrief about seeing somebody crying, but- but you know. Just- maybe seeing somebody, like, alone and very emotional was a little bit reinforcing of, like, I still don't really have anyone I could talk to if I was that upset.
I think Hill is feeling– not necessarily feeling isolated like they were, but is just, like, thinking more about people that they know, thinking about their connections who aren't here and are going to order something that's not, like, one of their old favourites, but is, like, a favourite of– I think, like, of River, who is still in stasis. And yeah. I think River's not getting out till the last day, day seven. And so, um, yeah.
So Hill is thinking of them and orders one of their favourite dishes, one of River's favourite dishes. And I think it is like a szechuan noodle dish that is, like, just a little bit too spicy for Hill actually. Like this is my friend's favourite and they have a higher spice tolerance than me, but I miss them and so I'm gonna eat it.
Yeah, that is that's the direction we're going in today. Even if it is, like, a slightly uncomfortable sensation, it is one that reminds them of their friend and so there is some joy in that.
Okay, that is evening. Yes? Yes, that is evening. And now it is night.
DEAD OF NIGHT
GF: It is the dead of night.
SATAH: [Die clattering] Dead of night, fourteen. "The occultists club is meeting in the garden to collect spell components before going to the arboretum to dance around a pyre in a simulated forest. They welcome newcomers. Do you join at any point? What spells do you craft? Who do you dance for?"
I think it would make sense for me to go to the garden. This is, like– so, I've been befriending people who work in these areas, right? And I get invited to to come and, uh– very similarly to the conversation that I had with the chef– uh, with the cooks– about, like, different ways that you prepare ship-grown produce. The– I get invited to just have a brief similar conversation with one of the, like, magic users as they're- as they're– I'm, like, following them around as they're collecting and just talking to them about, like, what have you noticed? Does this stuff burn differently? Do you notice different effects? Does it smell different? How have you had to change your rituals and how has your relationship to these things changed?
And they're also offering, I guess, a spiritual angle on it specifically, like talking about the ways that a lot of faiths and spiritual practices have an element of honouring Earth. Like, thanking the Earth for producing certain things. And this person just shares, like, conversations that they've had in like, do we continue to do that because that is the, like, original progenitor of all of this stuff? Or has it changed enough that we should start, uh, honouring someone else? Do we talk to the ship? Is that the thing that we are– is it– what was it– Magnitude?
And I bet that there's a hint of a very specific sect that has started splintering off, that is a little bit more intense about… essentially, like, it's– they're starting some sort of like Magnitude religion, right?
But I'm just kind of asking practical questions and I'm getting practical answers, but also getting further details of, like, areas that I wouldn't have thought to explore because it just isn't the way that I relate to any of these materials.
And I think I go to see some of this celebration or ritual or whatever it is, but only very briefly. This is a group that– at least this very specific group is a group of people who have, like, a shared faith or belief system of some kind, but they are from all over Earth. They were living kind of everywhere. And so they had to– when they wanted to recreate a ritual space, they had to have, like, conversations about what it looks like. Does this look like sort of our place of origin or theoretical place of origin, or does it look closer to what, like, the experience of the sort of, like, diaspora would have seen? And coming to, like, a shared– creating like a shared vision that encompasses both of those things.
And I join partially because I want to see like what their vision of that was– like, people having different memories of trees and what they smell like and what they look like and how they grew. Right? And I want to see how that manifested in the simulated forest that they've created. And so I go and I look at the forest and then they're like building the fire and kind of as soon as they light it, I'm like, "Have fun. This was wonderful. Let me know if you think of anything else that would be relevant because I'm going to be partially in charge of making sure that all of this kind of stuff is still accessible to people in our new place, so I care about it. Even if I admittedly don't totally get it, that's kind of all the more reason for me to talk to you about it. So I'm here all day tomorrow and I will leave some kind of contact information," you know, and then I go to bed.
JAM: The number for night on day six is two. The cryptozoologists are back! Okay, yep. "The cryptozoologist club is hosting encounters with everything from cryptids to yokai." I don't- I don't necessarily love that– that phrasing, um, that those are, like, two ends of a spectrum. Um– they're hosting all kinds of– all kinds of creatures. "Will you attend? What mythological creature do you meet?"
I'm gonna– I'm gonna do the same thing. I'm gonna use my alphabet dice. I have it out. Let's pull up that Wikipedia article of mythical creatures. [Hums a little tune]
Okay, got my alphabet dice. Let's roll our first letter. E. Second letter P… so still 44 matches. A. Okay, perfect. Four matches. Oh… oh! that combination of letters got us to some fun possibilities. Okay. Oh, Pliny the Elder!
We've got- we've got a legendary sort of cattle or buffalo creature, uh, and we've got a Yeti.
[Trying different pronunciations] Catableepus? Catablepus?? Hmm. Ohh… "its stare or breath could either turn people into stone or kill them. The catoblepas is often thought to be based on real life encounters with wildebeest. Other depictions have it sporting the head of a hog and the body of a Cape buffalo." So this is from what is now Northern Africa… hmm.
I mean, maybe I meet both. I think- I think the cryptozoology club is out here simulating all sorts of stuff. I think, um- I think I do ask for- for, like, surprise me. Give me- give me anybody. And catoblepas is… [Mumbling different pronunciations] I- I could not be saying this right. Um– yeah.
I think I get this- this catoblepas first. "Black buffalo with the head of a hog hanging close to the ground joined to its body by a thin neck, long and loose as an empty intestine." Ooh!
Oh, of course, it has appeared in Dungeons and Dragons. Just looking at the Wikipedia article for this for this- this creature now. And in Yu-Gi-Oh! And in the Witcher. OK, maybe I just didn't know this one.
Um, so, yeah, I do think I see the- the- the catoblepas first, and I'm a little startled. I think they maybe describe it to me a bit before, like, as it is being generated and I'm expecting, you know, a big cow. A sort of a big weird cow. And what shows up is maybe more like this, like, long neck, these big tusks and this more menacing demeanor kind of creature.
And I think it maybe occurs to Hill for the first time… that this meeting with our new friends could go poorly. I think– you know, they maybe intellectually felt that way. Obviously, people had- had speculated on this, um, but I think they are realising they had been going to this– into this this journey with the assumption that this would be a positive or neutral interaction. And the- the sort of surprise– I think, like, the moment it's generated, also the catoblepas like lets out a menacing cry and fixes me with that stare that, like, in legend turned people to stone. And obviously it doesn't because it's not real, um, but that amount of menace and hostility is recreated.
And it has been so long since I have experienced that and maybe never, like, this up close, that I have like this moment of- of fear shooting through me and- and am very suddenly aware that things could go wrong. In a- in a way that I wasn't, like, emotionally admitting to myself before.
And yeah, I think once that- that, like, moment of shock has- has worn off, I spend, like, a polite amount of time, maybe 30 seconds or a minute, like, walking around the- this creature and- and, like, taking in the details and then being like, "Could I see something else?" Because this one has- has freaked me out a little too much.
And yeah, I think for the second creature that I see… the other one that I got with my combination of letters was a yeti, and so I think this is one that Hill maybe requests. Like, other people are requesting creatures, but they have not seen anyone request a yeti yet, and so they request a yeti. That could also be intimidating, but I think I'm just more prepared for– for what it's going to look like. And the simulation of it is not inherent– not initially hostile. Is more in, like… walking through a blurry photo kind of mode. And I imagine they probably, like, project a few different versions.
And yeah! I spend a little bit more time, like, communing with- with that and feeling again, like, comforted by its strangeness.
GF: Directories once again show a lone occupant in the crow's nest cupula. And I'm not going to go see who they are. I just– something about it is a bit weird and we're getting close to the destination and I just don't want to– I don't want anything like that. I don't- I don't need that. You know?
I think it's day seven. I really… I think it's day seven.
GAME: DAY SEVEN
SATAH: Dawn! Of! The final! Day! Which I just learned– [Laughing] I- I have been, um, getting to know somebody and they talked about their favorite Zelda games and they were like, "You should play Majora's Mask." And I was like, "Okay!" And I have- I have a Nintendo Switch Online membership, so I was able to just play it through the Switch emulator, and… I didn't know that that iconic image, the like "dawn of the final day," like "dawn of the two days," whatever, was from that. I always assumed it was from, like, an Evangelion or something? [Laughs] Which I also haven't seen.
I didn't experience… I didn't experience media as a child. I don't understand any of your Simpsons references or your Spongebob jokes. I'm sorry. And I didn't experience any of that stuff either and I've absolutely just been, like, happily trotting along, like, "That's probably a reference to an anime that I never saw!" But actually, it was a reference to a video game I never played. And I don't know why that's so funny to me because it amounts to the same thing, but it is funny to me.
And also that game is very stressful. I see the appeal, but… okay. Dawn of the final day.
MORNING
SATAH: What happens to me in the morning? [Die clattering] One! "A group of passengers is heading to the gymnasium block and they say they're short one player for a team game. What are they playing? Do you join them? Is it fun?"
This dork?!
The first thing I think of is… oh, what was it called? The sport in Battlestar Galactica… ball… ball sport… what was it? I am going to look it up. Pyramid! Which I think comes to mind partially because it is a sport that is, like, so perfectly able to be played on the ground as well as in the tight quarters of a ship. Not quite as relevant here because this has- this is a big space and can be anything.
It isn't literally Pyramid, but it's- it's something like that. It is it is a- a- a- a- a sport activity [Brief hysterical giggle] that, um, can be enjoyed– enjoyed that is– that is frequently enjoyed very casually, but does have, like– kind of like an ultimate frisbee vibe, almost? Where, like, it is a game where you can just kind of, like, fuck around in a park and play, but also there are people who get very intense with it and have, like, a league? And there are probably like several levels of it on the ship; people who take it seriously to different extents.
You can tell by how I talk about sports that I… [Snort] am g– I know… what they're– they are. "Sports activity"? Okay.
So… it's like a couple of the people who were working on the farm with me. Not strictly scientists, but people who do much more of the, like, labour and that kind of thing. Which obviously they're not– those aren't, uh, mutually exclusive, but these are people who specifically, like, don't really care about the research stuff and just want to do the physical parts and enjoy doing that and- and are quite- quite fit and strong.
And they're like, "Hey! You were pretty handy. Like, I saw you lift heavy- heavy machinery when we were- when we were farming the other day. Wanna play this game with us?"
And I think they all burst into laughter because the look on my face is so horrified before I can control it. And I'm like, "Oh n– I'm sorry- I'm sorry. It's not– it's not you– thank you. Thank you so much for inviting me. That that is really wonderful. Uh… I never really learned the rules?"
And they're like, "Oh, it's easy! Don't worry about it."
And I'm like, "Uhh… I don't know… but– I mean– I guess– can I– I know you're one short, but is it okay if I just… come watch and see what I can figure out?"
And they're like, "Yeah, totally."
And I watch… like, I just sit by the side. And they manage to pick somebody else up along the way, you know– it's- it's not hard to find people who want to play this.
And I think we just kind of have a delightful thing where I'm sitting on the sidelines and then every… at the break of every quarter or whatever, like, segment of game, they ask me for the update of like, "So what do you think the rules are?"
And I try to explain. I'm like, "Okay, so it seemed like when you caught the ball… you had to go in this direction, but then you got a penalty, it seemed like, for that? And so you reversed and you're both supposed to go in the other direction– do you swap sides?!"
And they, like, joyfully are just like, "Some of that was almost right? Uh, some of that was just us making really stupid mistakes because we're not very good at this game?" [Laughing]
And just kind of spend the afternoon, like, joking around and occasionally having the ball thrown to me, which I refuse to catch, but I will throw back to them.
GF: [Die rolling] Ever since the karaoke night, I've been thinking a lot about Ration-Al. And as I'm doing my morning stretches and my morning walk, I see one of the passengers that I know "step out of a VR suite and it's left vacant in a single seat concert hall configuration," and so, of course, I step into it and I listen to some Ration-Al.
As I'm listening to Ration-Al, there's a… a little mini documentary that plays, um, after one of his songs. It's called… [Laughs] Breakneck Beats, colon, The Race for Recognition. And it's all about Ration-Al's early years.
JAM: So for the morning on day seven, I again "hear someone whistling one of my favourite songs from afar. What song is it? Do I seek the whistler out?"
This time I might! I think I know that this is the day that River is waking up, but I don't know when that's happening or where they will be. Like, we didn't have a plan to seek each other out; I think we just sort of assumed, like, we would find each other.
So I think in the morning, as I'm- I'm- had my breakfast and I'm just walking around figuring out what I'm going to do with my day and keeping an eye and an ear out for River, I hear somebody whistling maybe a song that's familiar to us both, and I do track the person down.
And I don't think it's River. I don't think it's that easy to run into them, at least initially.
Um… what song is it? I think it's something old. I think it is, like, pre-20th century. Like, it is a weird old medieval– maybe it's Green Sleeves or something. But yeah, it is, like, that sort of old song, which I think reminds me of- of River and the kinds of things that they drew inspiration from. But I seek the whistler out and it's just somebody else who knows Green Sleeves, which, you know, is fine and makes sense.
AFTERNOON
JAM: Let's see what happens in the afternoon on day seven.
GF: It's the afternoon.
SATAH: [Die clattering] The afternoon is six: "A lone passenger that you've never met invites you to join them for a brief stargaze in the Cupola. Who are they? What are they like? Do you join them?"
Ooh. Yeah, so, I imagine that over the past couple of days, the slow waking process of my group has been happening. I imagine some people are probably just kept in stasis until we land on the planet, because, like, why not? But there is a small group that– this is when I should have woken up, you know? This last week was not planned for.
And so this is somebody who is in the landing crew with me. Is it a close… coworker..?
Oh, also, I think– just to, like, tie something together, the people who I know who are– who have been in stasis are still in stasis. Like, maybe I wasn't actually going to be woken up today. Maybe I was going to be woken up on the planet. I was supposed to be one of that group, but regardless.
This is somebody who I don't know, but who kind of knows me. It's not something as intense as like– like we're- we're peers. They- they're familiar with my academic work, but they're the same age as me and we're at very similar– we've- we've just followed very similar trajectories.
And I like the idea that there was some kind of conference where I was giving a demonstration of something that I'd been working on with my team. Whatever- whatever innovation that I haven't really fully defined that I was partially responsible for developing. And this person saw that demonstration and was really excited.
And I think in part, they were a skeptic. Like, they had read reports of the thing that I– me and my team had been working on and they were like, "That's… so optimistic. That is never going to work. I can't believe that we're throwing money at this sort of idealised, bordering on pseudoscientific nonsense," and they came to the conference… they were going to go anyway, like they're working in this field, right? But learning that there was a demonstration, they were like, "Okay, great. I can go and see it fail. Perfect."
[Die clattering repeatedly] Oops. I was fidgeting with my die and then I threw it on the ground.
And then it worked. It was a great demonstration and I think that they had– they had a moment of dread. Like, it wasn't positive for them in the moment. It was kind of like a, "I've been wrong," and… this could have absolutely been a villainous turn for them, you know, where they decide to, like, campaign against this and destroy me and whatever. And they admit they thought about it. And I, like, raise my eyebrows.
We are stargazing at this point, which I'll get– I'll get back to.
But what happened is, like, they, like, went back to their– they skipped out on the next few things at the conference. They went back to their room and just paced and felt miserable. And then… their room had a, uh, view of the whole conference hall. And they looked down and they saw everybody talking excitedly and showing off all of these projects, some that were very promising and some that were dead ends, but just the enthusiasm. And slowly realised that, like, they've had the wrong attitude about this? That they have been obsessed with tiny incremental change and slow progress and keeping moves very s– very– just tiny and- and- and careful.
And that… they weren't totally wrong, because there are a lot of people who take big swings in a negative way, and- and they were– they certainly formed this belief in reaction to those sort of people, who do stuff that won't work and they kind of know won't work, but end up throwing themselves fully into it. And so this person was like, "I am always- I am always going to make sure that I know exactly what's going to happen before I do something and never lose myself to that kind of thing."
And it just dawns on them that they have done themselves an enormous disservice by getting… too closed off, essentially. And this was a slow realisation– it's not, like, all of this; they didn't totally change whatever was their belief system was in this hotel room, looking out at this conference, but it was the beginning.
And they say, like, it was a big leap of faith for them to sign up for this mission, that it felt almost like a test of the growth that they've been trying to have over the past… oh, I don't know. Five years or decade since that conference. And that occasionally they were like, "I've made the biggest mistake of my life," and then they were looking at the manifest and they saw me, and…
Maybe that's who the people I know who are still in stasis are, is– partially, like– I think probably some, like, personal friends but also some- some teammates from that kind of era of my life.
And they're like, "Well, whether it works or not, this was a good choice and this proves that I have– this probably proves in some way that I have successfully pushed myself to be someone who thinks bigger." Who dreams a little bigger, darling.
And this all comes out… like– so, we run into each other at lunch and their eyebrows go up and they're like, "What are you doing up?"
And I'm like– mouthful of food– I'm like, [Muffled like they're talking around food] "Excuse me?"
And they say, "Weren't you supposed to– aren't you supposed to wake up planetside?"
And I, like sw– I'm like, "Yeah," and I explain what happened.
And they're like– they look really excited and they're like, "Oh, this is… I- I really just kind of got up this morning and there's stuff that I want to see on the ship that I barely have time– will you come with me? I just, I–" and they introduce themselves. They're like, "I work in the field– I work in this field. I'm going to do a little bit of a whirlwind tour. Will you join me on part of it?" And that's how we end up stargazing, and then that whole story comes out.
And I'm, like, very surprised. Like, I can't imagine my work having that kind of effect on people?
And they just laugh and they're like, "Listen, I'm not saying it was totally your work, but… I did take some time to read some of your papers and that kind of thing after, and it does seem like you are one of the people who has that… innate ability to believe that things could be really different. And I- I think I was right that it is innate to you. So innate that you don't even realise it's there. And I admire that. I don't mind that I had to work a little harder for it? And I'm glad that I did, but I do admire that in you. And I'm really excited to work with you."
And I'm like, "I'm… really excited to work with you."
And they… run off to the next thing on their tour. They're trying to hit every single part of the ship, for at least a little while, in this day- this one day that they have on the ship. And I give them a couple of recommendations. You know, I'm like, "Oh, make sure that you do this." Oh, I definitely send them to the oddity block, and I'm like, "Talk to this person. You want somebody who can 'believe'? Holy shit. If you think- if you think that I have the capability of envisioning a different future, you really got to talk to…" chaos doctor, childhood friend. I haven't named anybody else. Sorry to them.
GF: [Die rolling] My favourite city is being simulated in the pan-civic simulator.
Terrence Halberstam's favorite city is New New York City.
New York City was the greatest city in the world up until about… uh, 2500 when it, uh, you know… I mean, without putting too fine a point on it, fell into the ocean.
New New York City, which was built just a couple hundred, uh- a couple hundred kilometers, you know, a hundred ish plus miles to the west, uh– basically the point of New New York City was to do everything the same as New York City, but just more better. And so that's what it is.
New New York was established in 2550 and it's– even though it's only 400 years old or so, uh, it's– because it was modeled after the old New York City, it has a lot of the sort of same architectural accoutrement and so on. It's pretty beautiful. And I'm excited to check it out in the pan-civic simulator.
[To the tune of Empire State Of Mind] In New New York… [Speaking regularly] and so on.
JAM: That's a thirteen. So interesting: "Another passenger has lost their way to their stasis suite and could use a hand getting back. You know where the suite they're looking for is. Do you help them?" Um… boy. It does not say if this is a stranger to me. It does not say if this is a person that I know.
I… am so interested in maybe this being River. It is also so interesting to roll this one on the last day of our journey, because if you're going into stasis… you're trying to go back into stasis on the last day? I think this is someone who is scared about meeting our new friends. And I think this is resonating with me based on like this moment of fear I had the day before.
Yeah, I think this is River. I think River… got out of stasis, we found each other, and they are just real shaken up about what we're about to do, and maybe not even like, I'm lost– I'm lost, like, physically in space, like, I don't know the way back to my stasis suite. But it's maybe, like, I can't put myself back into stasis, and I know the crew won't let me be in stasis through disembarkment. I need you to put me back in stasis, um, because I am not actually ready for the thing we're supposed to do tomorrow.
And… do I help them do that? Oh my god. I mean– I think what I'm feeling is Hill is, like, initially, like, furious that I've been awake and alone for a week and now my friend is finally here and the first thing they say to me is, like, "I actually don't want to be here and I need you to help me put myself back into a coma so that I don't have to do the intimidating thing that we're doing."
Um, and I– I don't think I necessarily express that to River… but… or do I? Oh god.
No, I think I don't. I think I tell them, "No," and I think it is a really hard day.
I think… I think they are probably in a state. They, like, just woke up from stasis. They're, like, groggy and- and, like, exhausted but also restless, and, you know– I remember feeling this way, but I've also had a week to recover and they did not give themselves a week to recover. I think– it is, like, occurring to me now that they picked the latest possible day to wake up because they didn't want to give themselves time to stress out about these entities that we're going to meet and this big thing that we're supposed to go do, and so instead they've given themselves no time to process it.
And- and yeah. My answer is no. I'm not going to help you avoid this and do this alone. We're going to do this together, even though that's harder. Which is maybe a little, you know, I think… I don't know that River would call Hill selfish for that, but I think I might say, like, "I'm sorry if that's selfish, but…" yeah, I think there is an acknowledgement that like yes, that is partially selfish on my part, and also, that's maybe okay, you know. That I'm doing the right thing for not-noble reasons. That doesn't make it the wrong thing.
Um… yeah, I'm just imagining like that they spend a lot of the afternoon, like, talking and crying and trying to work through, like, all of this anxiety and fear that River is feeling.
And River is the performer. River is, like, the onstage person and Hill is the more behind the scenes person. And I think they're not used to this, like– not quite role reversal but this, like, River's afraid and I'm being the quote unquote brave one. Or- or, you know, the bold one, at least.
Yeah, yeah, oof. We spend the afternoon crying it out and talking it out and… knowing all that, let's roll evening and see where that takes us.
EVENING
SATAH: [Die clattering] Evening. Eighteen. Fireworks again in the cupola. Ah, I do kind of wish I'd gotten something different, but I don't think I want to reroll. I think I just want to stick with that.
It's probably another picnic with that group of people who I've met on the ship, right? And I think that there's, like, a pleasant jolt that I have when I realise that the number of people who I've met on this ship and have some sort of positive connection to is now big enough to fill, like, three big blankets as we're all sitting here, eating stuff from the food truck, watching the fireworks.
And we're, like, exchanging as much contact information as we can and there are some goodbye moments but then I think at a certain point someone is like, "Alright! That portion of the evening is over. From now on, we're just in this moment. Let's just be together."
And we're all like, "[Complaining noises] Okay, that's hard, but okay." We relax into it and it just ends up being a really lovely evening.
JAM: That is a seven for the evening.  Okay. [Laughs] Evening: "a group of strangers is going for a night swim in the dive-in theater in the gymnasium block." Dive-in theater instead of drive-in… "and they invite you to join them. Do you tag along? What movie is on?"
Hmm… oh boy.
It is interesting to me if this group of strangers– like, I don't know why a group of strangers at this point in the trip would be approaching me to join this. Like, that made sense on my first day out– and maybe if– you know, in part they, like– folks are encouraged, like, whenever folks come out of stasis to, like, invite them to something that day. So this is more an invitation for River?
Though I was going to say, this is maybe my, like, skyline trivia friends, um, who, uh– no– like– have noticed– like, were excited to meet my friend who's coming out of stasis today, um, and yeah. Like, that- that- that framing as a group of strangers is interesting for- for me, for it to be that group, because now that I have an actual friend here, that, like. Yeah. Those people are strangers. You know, we, like, spent one afternoon together but we don't actually know each other.
I think they invite both of us to join them. I don't think I go. And I don't think River goes. Uh, you know, this is a kind gesture that again, like, is not- is not the vibe.
What movie is on? The Iron Giant. We don't see it. We've been meaning to, but not this time.
We, like, I think– instead, have a dinner together.
I think about bringing them to different places. I think about bringing them to the garden. I don't, you know– I don't– but I don't want to force anything on them. And so I'm– yeah.
I think it– River is– I think Hill might have been more interested in going to see– going for a swim, at least, if not staying for a whole movie. But they're following River's lead, and yeah. We're not going to the Dive-In Theatre.
GF: It's once again "sleepaway night at the museum block," but, uh, I decide I've had enough of Reagan. You know? I… had weird dreams while I was there. I dreamt of an America of fire and brimstone. I dreamt of American carnage. I dreamt of bad things happening to good people. And frankly, I don't need that. And neither do you.
OUTRO
SATAH: This has been Folio, an actual play podcast about solo and epistolary TTRPGs. To find where you can find the show, check out foliopod.carrd.co. Sign up as a paid member at patreon.com/foliopod to vote on games and participate in live streams or join for free to get access to the bonus feed with edited audio-only versions of the streams a couple of weeks after they happen and occasional other stuff.
You can find the games, sci-fi stories, and podcasts of Jam Edwards at rjmakes.com. That's RJ, like raspberry jam, makes dot com.
You can find the music and musings of garbageface aka gnostic front aka Karol Orzechowki at everyoneisdoomed.org. The music in this series was improvised live by him while he played the game.
You can find the games and music of Satah– c'est moi– at gaygothvibes.online. Follow me on Bluesky at posatahchips.gaygothvibes.online.
Next week, Jam and garbageface and I will continue our games of Immanence by Marcus Hose. Everything I mentioned here is linked in the show notes. Thanks so much for listening, and take care out there.