[00:00:00] 
 Yeah. So You are our first guest! Oh my goodness. Yes, this is a celebration in itself. Yes, welcome. You are our first guest. So it's the show. Grab your favorite drink. And what are you drinking on 
a black coffee? What? Expresso shot. All 
right, awesome. Okay, so Pauline, this is your friends. If you want to do like an introduction, 
ladies and gentlemen, this is the beautiful Lachelle.
yeah, and we've been friends for maybe a year now. So, not too long of a friendship, but [00:01:00] it's been really fun, 
And then, how did you 
guys meet? 
at the Bay Church, we ended up sitting at the same table together, and we were going through a series, I think just started that day, and it was, um, connecting with friends.
And so we watched the video and then watching the video it made me feel inside like let's all just be friends. You're my friend. You're my friend. And so, um, we went into a discussion and then she was like, the biggest thing was like a five mile radius friend. And I lived down the street from her and then her cousin, Tina.
Sister in law. Sister in law lived down the street too so we just clicked and exchanged numbers and the rest is history. Awesome. 
Who started speaking to who first? 
She started speaking to me first. Sounds right. So who are you? Like, what are you? What are you here for? 
Pretty much. Yeah. I was acting quiet. I was so quiet.
But now I realize because you do night shifts. Yeah. And so like when she goes to these events in the morning, on a Saturday morning, she's [00:02:00] rolling like, took a shower, right? Yeah. And got off a shift and about halfway dead. 
Yeah. 
So now I understand that. She's just trying to get to bed. Yeah, and she's done with the shift and she'll go to sleep right after But I was like man, this girl's quiet.
Yeah, I was 
I think it was because I don't always I'm not always getting up to Night shift, but I think it was because of that and I was just listening to everyone But yeah, then she just put me on the spot. I was like, okay fine
Oh yeah, 
so she was super quiet. 
Yeah. 
And everybody was kind of chit chatting at the table and interacting. And then this girl comes in late and sat next to me and was super quiet and I was like, you know what?
What do I got to lose? Like, it's a church event. You know, I'm going to be real with her. And I was like, so do you have any friends? What kind of real friends do you have? 
And then, 
and then it was history. I mean, 
at that point, did you have any friends [00:03:00] in, within the five mile radius? 
No. 
 
also like period really, I think I was sharing at before that my best friend is like my sister cousin.
She's my cousin. I have five brothers and so she was I call her my sister cousin and I feel like as an adult I can't really say like I have close friends like them Like her and her sister in law and stuff so it was really great to be a part of the woman connect and that's why I go to because my church is small and There is like the only time that we can get with other women that are like minded and yeah Converse and get to know each other.
So, 
okay. 
Yeah, 
was that the first time you went to that church? Or you've been going to that church, and then you just wanted to go to the event. 
I've been going to that church for a while. my friend, she, well, she's like in the family. She's been in the family for a really long time, and she's the one who invited me.
And then they stopped doing child care, so then she stopped coming, but I just really wanted to go and enjoy it. So whether I'm tired, just off of work or whatever, I still push to go because I love, [00:04:00] the talks and discussions that we have there. Yeah. 
Do you, have you found, like, before me pressing you to talk that day, um, did you find Any friendships and connections through that group?
Like how long were you attending before like we connected? I 
mean, I think like I'm open and Like to talking to everyone there and having discussions there. But as far as like exchanging numbers, I've never done that before So it's always fun in the group You know, we all get excited and I love hearing other people speak and their opinions about it, but I'm never like, okay Here's my number.
Let's talk Let's get to know each other. So if you wouldn't have done that then I probably wouldn't have done that and I would have just seen you the next time like, hey, remember me? Oh, 
interesting. Yeah. Have you never done that before or you just haven't? 
I don't feel like I'm like the type of person to say, give me your number, like we're gonna connect.
I don't think that I'm, um, outspoken like that. 
[00:05:00] Okay. So you consider that outspoken? Yeah. 
Oh, interesting. Has there 
ever been an opportunity where You felt like, man, I'm really liking this lady, this girlfriend, and I really want to ask her for her number, but you just never did and regretted it? 
I don't think I've ever thought, like, I want to get to, um, her number to get to know her and hang out with her outside of it.
I think I was just like, if I see them again type of thing. I don't know. Yeah. So if 
someone did that to you And was outspoken. Would you have been like, oh yeah, like would you have been excited to do that? Yeah. 
Yeah. She did it with me. Oh yeah. Yeah. 
Oh, cause you asked. I asked. Yeah. I was like, okay, well.
Well that, that makes sense. The outspoken one, like, give me your number. 
Yeah, I am very outspoken. I'd be extremely, I'd be in trouble. It's like, my husband's like, whose number is this? I'm like, some old lady at the bar I met. Found this, this is a picture [00:06:00] of us. Yeah, I'm not in trouble because I make friends.
Mm hmm and then exchange numbers. Yeah, 
okay, which I think when I'm so I just moved here three years ago and I'm like man It's so hard for people to do that and you're right. It is like an outspoken Kind of personality. Yeah to be like, hey, can I have your number like let's Continue our friendship, you know right here and continuing outside of here So, 
I've never been rejected. I'm just gonna tell you guys, I asked for a lot of girlfriend numbers. Like, I made a friend right outside this clubhouse. They were barbecuing with their friends and I don't know how. I think it was a bunch of dudes and the one girl that was there. And so I started chit chatting with her.
And then come to find out she's a salsa dancer at a local spot and I was like, oh and she lives on in my neighborhood and so I like ran it like I've [00:07:00] We have attempted to go for walks together but yeah, I've exchanged numbers and I will see her again. Yeah. We will see her. Maybe she'll come on 
the podcast.
Oh yeah, if that's not bad 
boy. 
You know it's crazy too because my husband and I do outreach and I don't ever know what it is about the whole friend part of things. But with outreach I always hear people speaking and the same thing like, oh like she does salsa dancing, oh I want to do salsa dancing.
So I may, you know, want to join her or something. So with outreach, I pay attention to, you know, what they do, so how they can help with outreach or where I can create an outreach for them to be a part of. And like, then I will say, Oh, can I give, can I have your number? I think you'd be good being a part of our outreach team, something like that.
Something that has a little more like 
purpose and placement for why you would need to exchange those numbers. 
Yeah, probably. Or 
want 
their number. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, 
so are you are you [00:08:00] the type to like easily make friends though to have those real connections? 
I feel like Can I explain it? I feel like I sometimes am an introvert, but once I'm speaking and, and with outreach, maybe with marriage or something that I'm really passionate about.
Yeah. it has no pressure with it. So I don't think about it, but I feel, I guess it's situational too. Like if I hear someone speaking about that, then I'll go and talk to them. Yeah. But, um, if it's just like a casual, like, we just met, like, let me have your number. So we become friends, like, that's not something that I think you would do.
But if it's something like at an event, like, if I just met, if I just met someone, then I'm definitely going to talk to them and, you know, engage in conversation and everything. So, yeah, I guess it's situational, too. Okay. 
But, your purpose for outreach was not necessarily to make a friend in that respect, right?
Yeah, like, it's really for that business or that purpose. But it's not yeah, it's not making that friendship. 
[00:09:00] Yeah 
Interesting, so Would you be open like now having this talk? would you be open to making new friends and asking other women like hey, let's hang out outside Like if you found someone are you connected with someone or like hey?
Can I get your number? You know, let's Maybe. Maybe. Okay. Well, I want to report it. I want to update. Yes. You're like, actually, I just met someone at the grocery store. You want to be friends. Okay. Hey, you know Where do you live? How many kids do you have? It's so funny. it is. I think about the kids.
You know, again, I have young kids. So, what, ten, eight, and four. And I remember them going to the playground. They're like Do you want to be best friends? I'm like, why can't it be that easy? I think I do it. I think that's 
I come in pretty strong. 
I feel like if you, if your kids are going and playing and stuff like that, and they're really [00:10:00] excited about their friend, then of course you get to know the parents too.
So I feel like maybe, like my son, he's 16, so with basketball, that might be like a friend connection type of thing. But even though he's older, but if it were him hanging out with someone, even though he's a teenager, like I still want to know who he's hanging out with. Oh, for sure. And get to know the parent, get to know the mom.
Form a friendship with her if it's there. Yeah, 
so having like some commonality of like we relate on this level I think that totally helps. Oh, yeah Like if you you are a mom with some type of sport or some type of, I mean we grow in a huge community Yeah, of close friends in that so that would definitely be my number one thing or church Yeah, but I will say I found I feel like I found better community at Gymnastics The boys gymnastics that, uh, our kids do.
Like, that was more organic. And it might be because we can hang out and the kids can, too. And it's almost like this little [00:11:00] ecosystem that they take care of themselves and they play by themselves, play together so well that we can actually, like, kick back and enjoy each other's company. So that's one thing, 
too.
And I guess that's how you get to know someone, too. You know, either at a church event or at a sports event. Because it's not like, you know, in the grocery store, I'm like, I like what she's wearing. Okay. Um, we let me get your number for that. Alright, let's do it. That's not what we're gonna do. 
Okay, let's do it.
That's not what we're gonna do. I'll give you some tips. But 
yeah, it definitely has to be an event. You know, something going on. 
Okay, that's, that's a, that's a good start. Starting point 
then that you also get to know that person to what they're interested in because if I'm not interested in that We're not gonna hang out cuz yeah, you know, I have friends from high school that you know, I still love them But at the end of the day, we just grown, we've gone apart like you're into this.
I'm not into that So yeah, yeah, 
yeah for sure. I definitely feel like there's like phases of I mean this would be maybe another topic but [00:12:00] You know Hanging on to friends or growing new friendships, pursuing existing friendships, and even like sun setting some friendships. 
Actually, that's a good question.
So, you moved here to like East Bay area, right? Recently. So, do you still keep up with your friends from when, from where you last moved 
from? 
So where did, where did you originally 
come from? 
so I grew up in Oakland, Hayward, and like high school and college was in the city. Okay. And so the only friend, I feel like I moved around so much before high school.
That I never kept, up with any friends. And so then in high school, I do have a couple of friends that I keep in contact with. But that's only through social media. I feel like, um, now, like, if I see them on social media, I might reach out like, Hey, how you doing? I hope all is well type of thing.
But not like hanging out. Yeah. I feel like I haven't done that with anyone in a long time. I think you guys are the only ones who I really [00:13:00] hang out with. 
How about college friends? I know you said you went to college in the city, right? 
Yeah, I went to the city. I was dating at the time, so I didn't really have any girlfriends.
 I definitely wasn't hanging out or I would hang out with some of the high school friends, like when he would go to his dad's house and it was like clubbing. So I think that's maybe the biggest thing, why my friendships have fell up because I wasn't always into, I grew out of like going, growing clubbing a lot, so Yeah.
Yeah, 
yeah. And I just wanted to really focus on my son and focus on myself and uh, yeah. And then it was just him and I living in the East Bay. Everyone lived in Daly City in San Francisco, so. Okay. I think that would be like another reason too and then when I met my husband, when my son was five we moved to Vallejo and it's like nothing in Vallejo and I really didn't do nothing but work, family life and that was pretty much it.
Yeah. Do you have 
any friends from work? Um, 
I mean, I socialize with A lot of people [00:14:00] enjoy being around them, but outside of work, I haven't hung out with anyone. 
Okay. 
And that's funny too, because now that I'm thinking about it, there's one of my coworkers I was just thinking of, because she's been sick or something, we've been missing each other.
And so I'm like, dang, I wonder what she's doing. And I almost felt like asking, because I have her number, and I was going to say, we should go to Union Square and hang out. Do 
it. 
Yeah. If you're thinking it, do it, you know? 
I've, I've, I've like, definitely fallen into that. And I'm like. Do it. Why, why wouldn't I just text them?
Yeah, and I don't have a lot of co workers that are my age either. 
Like, either they're 
older or they're younger. So, that would be the other thing too. I feel like she was like, the closest. No, age 
is just a number. If you connect with someone, you can. 
I think that's what it is though. I don't connect because of the age difference.
Oh, got it. So, yeah. Yep. Interesting. Does she have kids? She does. Older too, like teenagers. So, that was another thing too. How much older is that? Like, they're around, she has a daughter that's around my son's age and then an [00:15:00] older, maybe the daughter is like two years older, so kind of like around my kid's age, yeah.
Okay. But I know she likes to go out and go shopping and go to San Francisco, so that would be something I would be interested in, too. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. 
Yeah, you're going to friend her, okay? Yes. And you're going to get, like, give me an update. I'm going to check the schedule, like, what 
is she working again?
No, you should be like, hey, missing you. Can't wait to see it work. Let's hang out after, when you get better. 
Seriously. 
with your friends, have you ever, like you were saying, sunsetting some of friends? Like, okay, this friendship is not really healthy for me anymore. I mean, I know you talked about clubbing, but is there any other, like, type of friendship that you were like, okay, I'm done with this? 
Um, Yeah, actually there, there was I just stopped answering the phone and just because I felt like she was only calling me and it was just always about drama and I also felt like she was only reaching out because she wanted [00:16:00] to vent and but she was never asking me.
It's like a one sided relationship. Yeah. So she was, she didn't know nothing that was going on in my life. I don't remember if I was pregnant at the time or if I was trying to date somebody or what exactly. But yeah. I remember feeling like everything was about her and everything was focused on how she felt towards a person And it was just like hearing that over and over it's just you know You get to a certain age where you're just tired of the drama and like toxicity And you don't know how to help her even if you do if you open up and you try to share with her like, okay Like there has to be something else and try to speak to her about it She's just like stuck there and there's nothing you can do and I was just I think I reached that point where I was just You know, I didn't want to, deal with that anymore.
Yeah, and, I mean, that makes sense. And that's hard, because you're like, Okay, what is she going to call me about now? You know, and she's not going to hear what I have to say, right? I think later, like years 
later, I thought about, like, maybe reaching out to her. Maybe she was, like, in a different phase of her life where she could [00:17:00] have, heard, why our friendship ended and why I stopped answering her calls.
But then, especially because her, family is so close with my, younger brothers. And so I always think about if I see her, like, I would miss her. It would be no love lost, but I just didn't want to deal with her in my life anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think she would probably be the only one. There's actually, there's another one too, who I used to club a lot with and then I started seeing at, you know, family parties because the kids, Had birthday parties together, so I would see her and just, you know, say hi to her.
But I think the same thing, she was always, in a place in her life where she wanted to, have a lot of drama. And, you know, some people just like the drama, and I just, I didn't. I was so over it, so. 
Would you say that's a red flag for you? For sure. 
Drama! For sure. No more drama in 
my life. I do not need it. Yeah, for real. Yeah, definitely people love the drama for sure. 
I feel like we should be [00:18:00] at a place in our life. You know, I turned 40 this year, so I feel like I'm in a place where Oooh!
Where I just don't want it, and if you are struggling, of course I'm a helper, so I would love to help, like, fix your stinking thinking, but, if you're in a place where you just want it, you know, some people need to be stuck and pull themselves out of it. Like, there's nothing that you can do than those other friends that I really don't want to be around.
Yeah. 
Yeah, that makes sense. I mean, when she did call, would you, Were you, like, giving her advice and was she receiving it? Or was she just there to, like, 
She was just there to give it all to me. Okay. 
She's like, I don't want to hear it, but I want to tell you all about it. 
Yeah. 
And whatever you say, I ain't gonna do it.
Yeah. 
That was pretty much it? 
That was pretty much it. Oh man, 
that's hard. 
I know. 
That's why I don't 
have friends anymore, because I'm like, Oh my gosh, I don't know if I can trust you. What's going on right now? No, I'm just kidding. I don't know. 
I have a question. What was your first impression of me, especially [00:19:00] like coming on so strong with how I questioned you?
I was like, why is she attacking me? I knew it! I was like, 
we need to ask her, because I'm like, I already know you. And I'm like, I want to hear what she has to say. That is 
so funny. I was really,happy that you actually asked me, because I wouldn't have done that.
And now look at us. I know. 
I think I even gave you a ride that day. Yeah. Did I give you a ride? Yep. Yeah. She was like, uh, do you need, do you need a ride, ma'am? Bye bye. You were like, give me a ride, friend. I was like, yeah, girl, come on. Stranger. We changed. Now we're good friends, huh? We're good. Okay. 
It was really nice, with your, with Alyssa and Yasmin being there and you guys are young mothers.
I didn't know how old you guys were, and just hearing them speak and I just felt like, I think that's what it was too, hearing them speak and then it's like, you did such a great job raising them, so it just kind of spoke into the person that you are, so I think that's what made me like more open to like, here's [00:20:00] my 
I like walking, and I like to diet once in a while.
Exactly. Okay, girl, we got you. No pressure with the dieting. Seriously. Yeah. I 
think one of 
the first hangouts we did like a walk a thon. 
Yeah. See? See, so it's like, then it also like my husband now is trying to get him to walk with me. So I'm like, come on, let's go. So it was nice that you guys lived there so that, um, we can go walking together.
Even though we haven't 
done enough of it. I'm sorry. Yeah. I've been cooped up at home. 
I 
was trying to start 
a podcast. Actually, so, with your husband, how long have you guys been married? 
Um, going on 8 years. 8 
years, okay. So did he have friends, and were they married, and did you connect with his friends wives? 
I think that's the other thing too, that, you know, if he had a lot of friends that are married, and I was, [00:21:00] Say it!
 Oh man, it would be just the best if I really enjoyed, you know, his friend and the wife too. Cause sometimes that's not the case. It's 
not. No, it's not. It's like dating again. Yeah. It really is. Find new friends. It's dating couples. Yeah. And making sure you You both like the husband and the wife. Yeah. I never thought about this.
I've 
been so blessed, y'all. Well, me and my Nate were like, I love Pauline. And that was Nate. 
Yeah, no, seriously, it is. I feel like that's a problem for a lot of people. Like a lot of friends, too. It's like, oh, I, you know, the husband might be like, oh, I really like him. He's like, no, no, no, my wife. Or, I mean, vice versa, right?
Yeah, sure. Yeah. 
Yeah. 
I've hit friend lotteries. Yeah. Yeah. And I 
feel like me and my husband, we are outgoing people. Like when we go out, if it's just us dancing on the dance floor, like that, [00:22:00] that's okay. I have seen 
this by the way. And it is the cutest darn thing. They just be dancing anywhere. We love 
to dance.
I think he brings that he's still, I'm silly, but he's sillier. So I feel like he brings that out. I mean more so when we're together it's like we're like best friends just hanging out But that would be the deal like some of his friends I do like they're cool that I enjoy them But most of them aren't married are the ones that are married or kind of I just wanted do a double date Have you tried it?
Yes, okay
I 
appreciate you, you know, like us going out and having this time together, but it's not like, Oh, what couple do I want to go out with? You know, like, Oh, let's go out with them. Yeah. It's hard. Yeah, if you guys were going out and we were free, then for sure. Yeah, I know. know. We will. You try a little bit.
Especially, I don't know, Yasmin's graduation. Oh, yeah. Nate walked up to, cause we really didn't know [00:23:00] how Nate was. So, we're just like, you know, I feel like he's like me. he's an introvert, but then once you start speaking. Yeah, he'll 
extrovert 
himself out. Yeah. For sure. Slow to warm up a little bit.
That's right. Yeah. Yeah, he 
does. 
Yeah, me 
too. Good. An introvert, and yeah. 
And then you get an extrovert after time. 
Yeah. 
Yeah. 
I feel like that's definitely how our relationship started off. Yeah. From the table to, to now. 
Uh huh. Now she'd be calling me up and be like, look, let's talk. 
Okay, girl, girl. Oh, that's awesome.
Yeah. Oh, that's good. I'm glad you were able to find, you know, real connected. Yeah, real friendship. Friendship, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And 
like. How fortunate to be, like, come to find out we're only, less than a mile away to live next to each other. 
You 
know? 
Yep. And your sister in law, too. 
And Tina. And then the Bay girls.
Yeah. We, like, branched out. [00:24:00] Build another like a community and 
yeah, and so her friend that is part of the bay girls and we went to high school together 
Oh, yeah, come to find out 
and I remember seeing her in high school, but I never really spoke to her or anything So now it's just really awesome to see her.
 I was like, oh my gosh, Martha is part of the Bay Girls, like, I would love to get to see the person that she is because I never knew her. Oh, yeah, 
yeah, 
yeah. Yeah. That's so funny. I love 
it. I love that I, like, made my friend groups.
Ha ha ha ha. I got some Bay Girls. I got some Bay Top Girls. Gym Moms. Yeah, I was going to say 
Gym 
Moms. Dojo. Gym Moms, Dojos, yep. 
I think it's like, you said, you are about like dating too, you know, you want to have friends with substance.
Yeah. 
So I think that's kind of like how it is with, dating and with trying to have friends around too. Ooh, 
so okay. Friends with substance. So do you feel as if the friends, [00:25:00] let's go back to the couples, and the wives Do you feel like, again, surface level, but is that because both of you guys are not necessarily opening up, or do you feel like you're working with two introverts?
Yeah. 
 I think what's stopped me from being the wife's friends would be, Like they seem like they're cool to hang out with but I don't like how they treat their husband So maybe something along that like if they're being rude and disrespectful The husband is being like There was a friend that my husband had and his, his, um, girlfriend, they were getting, they were talking about getting engaged and she actually asked me to be a bridesmaid and the god mom of their baby.
And I, was not okay with the person that he is that I. I can't accept being a bridesmaid because I'm not like you deserve so much more and I'm not okay with the way he treats you and I was trying to really figure out the nicest way to say that and not hurt her feelings at [00:26:00] the same time, but I'm just, I'm really big on that.
I feel like because I came from, a toxic relationship, you know, with my son's dad that, being, you never know what you don't know. Right. So getting into a healthy relationship is just, you want that for everyone. So, I think that's kind of what stops me from being friends with other women, too, is if they're being treated wrong or if they're mean.
That I think I'm just like, okay, just seeing them because it's like a birthday celebration, something like that, but not like hanging out aside from that. That makes sense. Yeah. 
Oh, so real quick going back to that. How does she receive that? 
 she was, She was hurt, but she understood. I feel like, you know, when we're in a relationship, we try to ignore a lot of red flags.
Yeah. 
And, um, I think they, she got so focused on wanting to be married because she had two other kids that that was a focus and she was just willing to deal with, you know, The red flags. [00:27:00] The red flags. And I think her relationship before was worse. So now that someone has come to her about marriage, she was just like, okay.
Smitten by it. Yeah. It's like a little 
light. You're like, you're a little bit better. Yeah. I'm gonna take this. I'm gonna settle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's so sad. 
Yeah. 
That sucks. 
Yeah. And so, and I feel like, too, with my brothers, how they treated women, too, you know, from where we come from, like with my dad, that, that makes me more, Wanting to help like on the women's side So, I mean if they're open to receive it, of course, then we can dive deeper But if they're not I'm just like, okay, this is what you're gonna accept but I just had to tell her because she's asking me to be a bridesmaid and I'm not gonna be okay being anyone's bridesmaid Under that situation.
So I'm happy that shortly after that they decided not to even be together. Oh, they did. Yeah So you probably opened 
her 
eyes. Maybe. Yeah, I hope so. And I hope she told him too, because I wanted to tell him. So, like, why do you, [00:28:00] she, they, and it's like they come over our house for every, like, football games, Thanksgiving, whatever the case.
And she's always, there's something that she wants to, relate to my husband to try to have her, boyfriend or fiancé, accountability. And he just wasn't there. And when they go home, it's just back to the routine. So. But yeah, I'm happy that they're not 
together anymore. Oh wow, so do you still see his friend?
I don't see, 
I 
don't 
see. Cause that's his 
friend, right? 
Yeah, that's his friend. Yeah. Yeah, he's not around anymore. Oh, so he, okay. Yeah, I'm thankful for that because like, as much as he tried to. Interesting. 
So were you like, why are you friends with this guy? I felt 
like my husband is in a place where he has a lot of, I feel like he tries to help, but I think he just was okay having him around and trying to pour it into him.
But 
I feel like that was his place in the friendship. Cause I didn't like, even though we're together. Oh, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. So I was just extremely happy when he, ended that friendship. 
Cause I feel like just talking [00:29:00] to you right now, you don't put up with some BS, you know? So for you to have, So, um, if you're not a spouse like that, you're like, why are you friends with this type of person, right?
 but that makes sense. So, well, I'm glad for your friend. Or, you know, your 
Sun setting that 
one. Yeah, that sucks though. I hope she's found someone at that point. Yeah, 
same. 
 
 but yeah, so, going back to, just, I love this topic. Because I feel like it's feel like it's not talked about, about not getting along with your spouse's friends.
And you have, like you said, you haven't had that, you haven't had that experience, right? 
With, um, the spouse's husband's partners? Or no, just like the, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, I, I don't think, I don't think I've met anyone that I, I mean, yeah, that I [00:30:00] haven't really liked. Like. 
So you feel 
like everyone that you're, that like every married couple or whatever they're married or not, every couple that you encounter, you enjoy? Yeah, yeah. 
I don't, I won't say that like we're besties or that like, um, 
But you, it's more than like an associate. It's like you, Yeah, but if they hit me up and were like, 
hey, let's, let's hang out.
Let's go have a girl's dinner. Like you wouldn't mind. I would go, yeah. Like, I would enjoy them for sure. How nice. But. But, you know, I don't know that we, uh, I think I have a pretty broad, like, friend group right now too, or like a pretty large group of friends that, it takes time and it takes effort to, to have intentionality with these people and to have a deep relationship and friendship with, with women, you know?
And so, I mean, I wish I had more time for, you know, everybody, but, um. [00:31:00] This is maybe a way we could do that. Um, and so, Yeah, I don't think I've, I've met a friend where, or like a, a lady that I haven't been able to be friends with. Yeah. Or, even if it's at an acquaintance level. I never like turn around and was like, damn, I do not like her.
I've picked up on like some funky cues. Yeah. Um, you know, like her, Oh, did she really talk to him like that? Oh, okay. But I don't, I don't think it's been like that bad, you know, where I'm like, I'm never going to get out of them again. Like, I'm okay just not being around them again. Right, like, don't ever ask me to kick them again.
Yeah, yeah. And then there's my husband's day ones that are like, they're just in different seasons. they're single guys and like, they don't have, gal friends. they might have brought like a girl that they've been dating a while. which I get really excited about for them, but um, Yeah, like any, any woman that can put up [00:32:00] with this knucklehead is a friend of mine, okay?
Your own care, your background, your education. Let me just love you, girl. Thank you for loving my brother. But um, yeah, so I think my husband has like, I think he likes all my friends. Oh, that's 
a good question to ask him. 
Yeah. We gotta put him on. We gotta bring him over. Him and J. 
Yeah. That's how I really feel.
Yeah, now I'm like, do I like all of his friends? Hubby's. Hubby's friends. Husband's friends. He doesn't have, like, a lot of, new friends. So, like, a lot of the new friends are with Through what? Through Our friend group. Yeah, either through me or through, yeah, sports. but like his old friends, yeah, I think I've gotten along with them.
I think there was an instance of like, ooh, I don't know the [00:33:00] way he talks to her. So it wasn't about her then? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was like, your friend. Yeah. You gotta check your friends. Yeah, I was like, I heard him talking to her and they about to get married. I do not appreciate the way he speaks to her.
Like you need to, 
yeah, you need to talk 
to your friend, you know, 
but you've gotten along with all the girls. 
Yeah. Is it the 
same thing where like if they reached 
out, you would go kick it? Oh, for sure. Okay, good. Yeah. Yeah. But I think I'm just naturally that person anyways. I can like get along with everyone and find some commonality.
So I'm a little bit more. Free in that respect. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Sure. Let's see what you're about, right? But yeah, I've been fortunate enough. 
Makes me think too. What if they are a different person when their husband isn't around? You know, like what if I, if they wanted to say, if they wanted to hang out, I really do [00:34:00] enjoy hanging out with other women too.
So if they, if they were to ask me, I would be open to going. Cause maybe, what if they are different, you know, when their, when their husband's not around. Oh yeah. Cause I was 
actually, you know what, you're right because, so my friend, we, she went with us on vacation. We got back, um, like a week ago from Abu Dhabi, but my friend, my best friend from New Orleans came.
And my husband brought up something, probably, you know, from the outside looking in, it was super, like, silly, minute, right? You're like, why are you getting mad at that? And I got mad. And she's like, Oh, you're being triggered. And it was about love language and touch. And I'm like, this is literally the same thing we talk about.
Every time, and I don't know why he's bringing it up, but it was like, it was just something so simple, and she's like, Genna, you're like, blowing up. And, and then she was like, you know what, you're [00:35:00] triggered, you know? So I wonder if like, they're doing something that's triggering to them. That turns you off.
That turns, that like, not allows them, but that makes them want to speak to them in that way. Not want to, but triggers them. That's the reason why they're behaving and again, that's just assumption But that was the same thing and she was just talking to me about one of her best friends and again outside looking in She's like he's just trying to do this and it and again He was like it sounds really great of what that guy's trying to do.
But then She was her friend was getting triggered By that. So, and she went off on her husband. She's like, oh my gosh, you're so mean. But again, it's just a, that was their dynamic and that was her trigger in their relationship. So I was like, I think everyone has their own little triggers. 'cause yeah, it'd be one thing.
I'm like, yeah, why are you doing this? You know, and it just makes me upset and it could [00:36:00] make me upset, you know? And turn you into my nasty Genna. Yeah, it's like. 
Like, oh my gosh. I'm like, oh, I don't want to be her friend. Can I get the sweet gem of it, please? 
But yeah, sometimes it's like, Again, it might seem really silly to some people, but then In the moment For the moment, for that relationship, it's triggering to some women.
That's true. 
I'm 
glad 
you, uh, you're open, though. I'm glad you're open to say, like So maybe you should, yeah, like, 
just see. Now you can like, okay. Let's drop that. Also, I 
feel like you are a woman that cares about relationships and marriages and That that might give you a an edge on being like, hey, how's your guys's relationship?
Maybe it's that. Maybe they're going through like a 
season, right? Maybe they're going through a season like Like they, she can't hide it anymore, [00:37:00] right? Yeah. And then it's 
like, 
it just like 
come down. Everything is triggering. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, girl, you it. It's making her look like atrac, not friendly and attractive, but you're like, man, maybe she is.
It's just the circum, you know the situation. 
Yeah. I think also too, I feel like everyone's so busy, so also trying to find that time, because I wanna say maybe last year. I tried getting my cousin Jada, my sister cousin, and a few other friends, together to do like a wives club. 
Yeah. 
And it's like trying to get more than three women together.
Oh, yeah. It's really hard. Trying to do a monthly thing. And I'm like, oh, my sister in law, she could really benefit from this, And I feel like, my brother, took it as like we're gonna go there and gossip, but really we can give her tools that she can use to help her with you But it was a wife's club that I was trying to get together and I think trying to plan that Was just [00:38:00] really difficult because of the scheduling too.
Yeah, for sure. But yeah, I would be open I would be open to hanging out to seeing you know, if there's more than just whatever they're going through in the season Yeah 
And I feel like too You know, there's, I have a handful of friends where I can, like I've seen that too, but I've known them before the man's come in their life, right?
So I can lovingly rebuke how they spoke to their husband after, you know, to be like, girl, what you doing? Like, you better cut it out. You know, obviously you don't have that relationship with these people yet, so you can't do that. Right. But, you know, to, I was their friend before I was able to do that with them.
And so, sometimes we just need friends. And a better, yeah, community. And like, yeah, I would definitely 
encourage. 
and 
that takes to a lot of relationship too. Also, you may [00:39:00] not, depending if you're going through something and you're like, if I just met her or I don't talk to her that often, she may not know where my heart is.
You know, she may not really know that I'm for her and that I'm not judging her. So, being in a close like relationship with them gives you that opportunity for them to let their guard down. I think that it takes like building, you know, building your relationship and Continuously, talking and, getting to know them more so that you know how to help them out because sometimes, how you help, it matters.
Like, it could either impact them or not. Or they can put their walls out there. 
Yeah. People could receive it or not. 
Yeah. 
But, what if you, you were given that opportunity to become a friend to say like Damn, you really helped the dynamics of me being a wife in the way.
I look at my husband or the way I treat him you know, so just Yeah, 
I feel like I'm sending you away with homework.
 I know And [00:40:00] I will say this too. I think what also helps with that again Small steps in building that relationship, but two is also being vulnerable in front of her, right? So it's like, 
yeah, they can 
only get vulnerable unless you get vulnerable.
And I think that like, I think that's where a lot of real connections don't happen because both sides are not willing to Drop their guard down a little bit, you know You don't feel like give your whole life story and share every single thing but having that moment of vulnerability I think it's gonna help 
Yeah, 
maybe her kind of bring down her walls.
Um, yeah, so I love that. Yeah, I'm open to that and 
I feel like I have a an ambassador to carry the mom talk. Yeah, it's out this door now. The purpose is to build connections and to build community. Yeah, and that's what I want. Yeah, you know,
so I appreciate you sharing and like really being open with us and yeah, [00:41:00] yeah, yeah. Yeah, like willing to be open to other women, you know, and having a little bit more grace with, maybe of what you saw, but still willing to explore relationships and stuff. Go get them, Le Chelle! 
I think too, having Can I just get your number?
I think having five brothers, you know, growing up and being the only girl was kind of like, who wants to play football? Who wants to play basketball? So, I don't know. Hey, you 
could join, um, If I have the bandwidth, yeah, but like, rugby? Um, I'm still hurt from my rugby attempt, let me tell you. Um, but, even if it's like a softball, co ed softball, or even, they might have girl only ones, but that might be, I feel like the co ed ones aren't as serious, you know?
Yeah, but, yeah. find something that you love doing. I 
feel like I'm prepared to go out there and make friends. Yay! Love 
it! Yay! You heard [00:42:00] that? Because she's going to give us an update. She's like, I'd just be going everywhere asking for people's numbers. Like, I got ten numbers today. 
You want my 
number?
I'll give you my number. You 
get my number, you get my number, you 
 get 
my number. I feel like was going to have it right now. I'm just going to show her 
my number. Here's my QR code. My number, my contact information. Where I live. Do 
you work night shift? Oh, 
me too. 
Thanks again for coming on, I really appreciate Yeah, I enjoyed myself.
You guys 
made me feel really open and comfortable. Oh, good. I love that. Yay! Yes. 
Cheers! 
Cheers! Cheers! Friendships! 
Ciao! Yay! [00:43:00]