It's now again. Welcome to mindful deconstruction. I'm your host Jeremy West, and today I'm going to answer a question that I found on Reddit.

This person says, I'm going to preface this by saying I do believe there is a God. I don't know if this is the right place to talk about this, but I'll give it a shot.

I get really anxious and dread the idea that even if I wanted to, I wouldn't be able to change the outcome of my death or even life.

Of course I could just stop believing in God, but even then I quite literally can't do anything to prevent the fact that there still might be a God.

The worst part is feeling watched constantly and the awful feeling that I can't do anything about that either.

I hate the idea that if God truly exists, there's no possible way I could make him not exist, and the power of that just isn't in my hands.

I wish I could create a universe that I want instead of the idea that there might be an all-powerful God watching and dictating my life.

It's come to the point where I know I can't change this, so I want to learn to accept it, but it's terrifying.

I don't know what could help, and I'm going to therapy for it, but it still lingers.

So first thing I'll say is good for you going to therapy.

That is something that if you've got the right therapist and they understand about religious trauma, then that should be a big help.

I just want to say if you find that the therapist isn't helping, then look for a new therapist.

I go by the 80-20 principle with everything.

Forget about 80-20, but the fact of the matter is there are really good therapists,

and there are people who went into that job and they've stayed in it, and it's not really the right job for them, but they do it anyway.

So let's just say that 80% of people in any job are just there as a job, and 20% are the right people, and they're good at it.

So try at least five therapists is what I'm saying if the first one or the second one or the third one doesn't work.

And yeah, see if you can find one who specializes in religious trauma.

But I just want to talk about how mindfulness can help.

This is profound, and it's a deeply personal topic.

We're basically talking about how to deal with existential dread, especially when it's tied to the idea of God.

Now I'm talking to everybody.

If you've ever felt anxious about the possibility of God's existence or if the idea of being watched and powerless to change that reality feels overwhelming,

know that you're not alone.

You're not alone.

Today we'll explore how mindfulness can help you approach these feelings with compassion and fight peace amid uncertainty.

Existential dread often arises from feeling powerless in the face of life's biggest questions,

questions about the nature of God, the purpose of existence, and what happens after death.

These feelings are especially intense when the idea of God feels less comforting and more controlling.

When you feel constantly watched or dictated to by an all-powerful being, it's natural to feel trapped, powerless, and even resentful.

But here's the thing.

Existential questions do not have to paralyze us.

They can also be an invitation to explore how we relate to uncertainty and what it means to live meaningfully, even when we don't have all the answers.

The first step is to acknowledge your feelings without judgment.

Say to yourself, I'm feeling anxious about the idea of God.

I'm feeling watched, and that makes me uncomfortable.

It's okay to feel this way.

Mindfulness teaches us that emotions are not wrong or bad.

They're just signals like waves passing through us.

By naming your feelings, you can create some distance between yourself and the overwhelming dread.

When we feel dread about something as immense as the existence of God, it can take over our entire mental landscape.

Mindfulness helps us to anchor ourselves in the here and now.

Try this grounding exercise.

Take a deep breath in for four counts.

Hold for four, and exhale for six.

Turn around and name five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, one thing you can taste.

This practice reminds you that in this moment, you are alive and safe.

The future, the past, and even existential questions don't need to control this present moment.

A big part of existential dread comes from feeling powerless, whether it's the inability to change the nature of God or the universe itself.

But what if you shifted your focus to where your power lies?

Ask yourself, what can I control in this moment?

How can I respond to these feelings in a way that aligns with my values?

For example, you might choose to focus on creating meaningful connections with others, practicing self-compassion or pursuing activities that bring you joy.

The idea of an all-powerful being might feel overwhelming, but you are still the author of your daily actions, choices, and experiences.

Many of us are taught that we need definitive answers to life's biggest questions, but uncertainty is a natural part of being human.

Instead of trying to resolve the question of God's existence or nature, consider approaching it with curiosity.

What if I don't need all the answers?

What if it's okay to sit with the mystery?

Here's a mindfulness mantra to try. I don't need to know everything. I can trust this moment.

Repeat this whatever the dread feels overwhelming.

The feeling of being watched by an all-powerful being can be unsettling, but what if you reframed it?

Instead of seeing this as judgment, could you imagine it as presence?

Some people find comfort in viewing God or whatever greater force they believe in, not as a harsh overseer, but as an observer who sees their humanity with compassion.

If that perspective doesn't resonate, it's okay to simply acknowledge the discomfort and remind yourself, I don't have to solve this feeling right now.

It's okay to let it be.

One powerful realization is that while you can't change the nature of God or the universe, you can create your own sense of purpose and meaning.

Ask yourself, what kind of life do I want to live? What values matter most to me?

How can I align my actions with those values today?

By focusing on what's within your control, you reclaim agency over your life.

During my deconstruction, I struggled with similar feelings of powerlessness and dread.

The idea of an all-powerful God felt suffocating, and I found myself wishing I could rewrite the universe to feel safer.

What helped me was realizing that I didn't have to resolve these questions to live meaningfully.

Mindfulness gave me tools to focus on the present moment, and over time, I began to trust that I could navigate life's uncertainties with courage and grace.

If this resonates with you, you might make a daily intention today,

how many more ways can I focus on the present moment and reclaim my sense of agency even more?

For more on setting daily intentions, revisit episode 59 of season 1.

The dread you're feeling is real and valid, but it doesn't have to define you.

By practicing mindfulness, reframing your perspective, and focusing on what's within your control, you can find peace even in the face of uncertainty.

Thank you for joining me on this episode of Mindful Deconstruction.

If you have questions or thoughts to share, visit jeremywest.net, where you can also learn about my group and one-on-one mindfulness coaching.

Until tomorrow, stay present, keep practicing, and remember, it's now again.