Welcome back to Mindful Deconstruction. I'm Jeremy West, and today I want to share my own story of deconstruction—how I moved from a strong religious belief, even training to be a pastor, to finding peace and purpose in mindfulness.

For me, the journey began in a church I joined as a teenager. Originally, I just followed a girl I was interested in to youth group. My mother, a New Age Christian, had planted the seed that the Bible was the word of God. Her church, though, wasn’t evangelical. It was called Unity, with influences from Buddhism and even ideas like reincarnation. But she still instilled in me that the Bible was true.

In church, I discovered evangelical Christian teachings with emphasis on eternal life and salvation, which offered me a comfort and sense of hope, especially about the end times and Jesus' return. I liked the idea of not facing non-existence after death. However, over time, I started encountering questions I couldn’t ignore.

What stirred my doubts were inconsistencies in the resurrection stories. Each gospel had different details—who witnessed it, how many angels, the sequence of events. For someone taught to believe in the Bible's inerrancy, these inconsistencies gnawed at me. I tried rationalizing, comparing it to witnesses at a car accident, each with slightly different accounts. But if the Bible was divinely inspired, why would there be different versions of one truth?

The turning point was Paul’s statement that the resurrection was the cornerstone of faith—if it wasn’t true, Christians were most to be pitied. Yet I was staring at four conflicting accounts. Another question came up: if I truly believed people were destined for hell without salvation, why was I hesitant to evangelize? Shouldn’t I feel compelled to save as many people as possible?

At that time, I was studying to become a pastor, but eventually, I left that path, though I clung to my faith a while longer. Studying religion academically in university opened my eyes to the sheer variety of beliefs in the world. I realized that if I’d been born elsewhere, I could have been just as passionate about a different religion. This awareness started to unravel my beliefs.

After leaving the church, I faced deep questions about purpose and meaning. Losing my faith felt like losing an anchor. I struggled with depression, feeling directionless. During this time, I discovered mindfulness, which offered a way to be present, find purpose, and meaning without needing answers to life’s biggest questions. It didn’t demand belief in any doctrine; it simply asked me to observe my thoughts, feelings, and experiences without judgment.

Now, as a mindfulness coach, I want to share this path with others. I’m not here to tell anyone what to believe. Mindfulness isn’t a cure-all but, for me, it’s been transformative, allowing me to find peace and let go of old beliefs without resentment. It helped me rebuild my own sense of meaning, rather than relying on others.

As a coach, I help you rebuild yourself. Mindfulness allows a lifetime of deconstructing the stories we hold about ourselves, getting to the core of who we really are.

Thank you for listening to my story. If you’re deconstructing or searching for grounding, I encourage you to explore mindfulness as a way to find connection, peace, and purpose outside traditional beliefs. If you have questions or want to share your own story, please reach out. You can always find me at jeremywest.net.

Until next time, stay present, keep practicing, and remember, it’s now again.