It's now again! Welcome back to It's Now Again, your daily mindfulness training session. I'm your host, Jeremy West. Today, we're going to address something many people carry with them after leaving a controlling or dogmatic faith: the heavy feelings of guilt and shame. If religious trauma has left you feeling weighed down by these emotions, today's episode is for you.

First, it's important to recognize where these feelings come from. Many faith communities use guilt and shame as motivators to enforce rules or "right" behaviors. This can create a sense of fear or self-judgment that's hard to shake, even after leaving those beliefs behind. Understand that these feelings were likely instilled as part of a larger framework designed to influence your actions and identity. Knowing this can be empowering. When you understand that guilt and shame are learned responses, it becomes easier to begin the process of unlearning them.

An antidote to guilt and shame is self-compassion. Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a friend in a similar situation. So I like to say that's my new golden rule: treat yourself the same way you would treat your best friend if they were in your situation. When feelings of guilt arise, pause and ask yourself, "Would I judge someone else this harshly if they were in my place?" This practice can start to break down the patterns of self-blame that may be rooted in your past beliefs. You might try simple phrases like, "I am human, and making mistakes is part of learning," or "I deserve to be kind to myself."

One way to alleviate guilt and shame is to redefine your own beliefs and values. Reflect on aspects of your faith that no longer serve you and ask yourself what values feel right to you now. Maybe kindness, authenticity, and self-growth resonate with your current understanding. When you start building your own value system, it's easier to let go of guilt and shame tied to beliefs you no longer hold. Give yourself permission to leave behind any value or belief that doesn't contribute to your peace and well-being.

Another key step is to embrace self-forgiveness. Self-forgiveness is an important part of healing. When you feel guilt or shame, it can help to look at what you might need to forgive yourself for. Perhaps you feel guilty for decisions you made under the influence of past beliefs, such as condemning others for their identity. Recognize that you were doing the best you could with the information and understanding you had at the time. Say you're sorry by all means, but you don’t need to hold on to guilt and shame for who you used to be.

Practicing self-forgiveness might include journaling about your experiences, speaking affirmations like, "I forgive myself for my past decisions," or talking to someone supportive who understands your journey.

Many religions instill a sense of perfectionism, suggesting that we must always strive to be good or right. But perfectionism often leads to an endless cycle of guilt and self-judgment. Letting go of this need for perfection is a form of liberation. Mindfulness can help here by guiding us to accept ourselves just as we are without needing to measure up to unrealistic standards. Try to remind yourself that it's okay to make mistakes, to have doubts, and to be a work in progress. We’re all human, learning as we go.

That's it for today's episode. Releasing guilt and shame takes time, but with self-compassion, self-forgiveness, and a gentle commitment to embracing who you are, you can lighten these burdens. If you'd like more support in your healing journey, visit jeremywest.net for mindfulness coaching and additional resources like guided meditations. If there's a topic you'd like covered in a future episode, feel free to reach out at itsnowagain@gmail.com.

Until next time, stay present, keep practicing, and remember, it’s now again.