jeremywest&stephaniejones
Jeremy: [00:00:00] Welcome to Jeremy Chats with Coaches. Stephanie Jones is with me today. My name is Jeremy West. Stephanie. Welcome to the show. Thank you. Thank you for having me Thank you. And we'll just start out For both myself and my listeners Can you just give us a little bit of a background on who you are Stephanie as a person and how?
What brought you to the world of coaching? Yeah, so, well, I'm a mom of three every mom title under the sun from a young mom. I had my first child at 19 to a single mother, a stay at home mom, work from home mom, work out of the home mom, entrepreneur mom. So that brought me into, well, that brought me into coaching.
It brought me into the current space that I'm in. My background as far as coaching goes is really COVID, honestly. Yeah, I was traveling with my girlfriend full time and the pandemic hit and we came back to Seattle and Seattle. So we actually are back traveling full time, but that's where we were living.
Yes. I [00:01:00] live in Australia, but my whole family lives in the Seattle area. Other than I guess one, one brother in Nashville, but everybody else in Seattle. Small world. So we We came back and I had been in the restaurant industry in corporate America and I didn't want to go back to it. And so I got my health coaching certification, became a holistic health coach, love talking about health coaching love doing group coaching, but did not love one on one health coaching.
Okay. So that moved me into really, they say, do what everybody always asks you about, right? And the thing that I always get asked by friends is how do I do things so quickly and how did I stay so organized with all of the kids and all of the schedules that I had in my life? So now I coach busy moms.
It's a mindset and lifestyle coaching. I empower them to master time so they can focus on their health and quality relationships. That's fantastic. So how many kids were you dealing with? So at 1. [00:02:00] 5 ages 1 through 16, and 5 kids is a lot, but 5 kids that aren't all your kids brings an extra label.
What, step kids, or? Step kids, I, it's two step kids. Yeah, right. And between the 5 kids, we were, they had four different parenting plans, which meant that, times didn't always line up. Weekends did, but like holidays and birthdays and those things did not. They went to school in two different cities.
So three different schools, two different cities. So yeah, just a lot. And just, your typical schedules, like one was in Taekwondo and one was in elite soccer and, one, afterschool recitals and ballet and all of the things. And so I had to get really organized. Wow. And you just say it's busy mothers that you work with.
I do. I work with busy moms because I believe, well, there's a lot of things I believe, but one of them is I really think we need to stop this super mom mentality. And so in doing that, I truly believe you can have it all, but you cannot do it all. [00:03:00] And mothers are sacrificing their own mental and physical and emotional wellbeing.
At the altar of motherhood and it's creating stress and anxiety and burnout and stress is the number one killer of women in the US. And so, how do we change that? And that's what I help them with. So what would you say is the core philosophy behind your coaching, Stephanie? Honestly, it's really getting clear on your core values.
And I, I always say every, from a young child, everyone has three to five core values of just who you are as a person. And I think sometimes those get swayed, especially With societal pressures of wanting to be a people pleaser or feeling the need to look perfect and take everything on. So if you really get back to those core values, what are those?
And oftentimes, not always, but oftentimes for moms specifically, it's family, community and health, right? So [00:04:00] if you filter everything through your core values, are you going to say yes to that extra thing that you're asked to do? Maybe, but also maybe not. And so I really coach on how to set some, give yourself some space and learn how to graciously say no, and how to open those opportunities up for other people in the community that want to be involved in the community and have the time that you know the community.
cookies to the bake sale or the phone trees or the, the church donation, Ben, like all of those things will be handled. You don't have to be the person to handle them all. So, we really get to the value, like the real core of what's important and saying yes to an extra thing oftentimes pulls us away from.
family time or pulls us away from something that we could do for our health like working out or sleeping, right? And so how do we really like stay true to that? And again, [00:05:00] graciously say no. Right. So basically it comes down to finding your values and living according to them. Exactly. Yeah. And then I do, I do every six weeks I do a VIP session.
So we, it's four sessions broken up over two days and we really go through and learn how to automate your home because part of that also is, typically again, not always moms are responsible for the doctor appointments, the dentist appointments, the haircuts. The, who snack days for all of the sports or snack days for the daycare center or classrooms.
And so how do you put things on automation? So you're not running out of toilet paper or running to the store for just eggs and spending a lot of time and a lot of extra money getting out of the drive thru line, which results in, blowing your budget, blowing your waistline, having mom guilt, because Yet again, you're in the drive thru line, but you really want to cook dinner for your family and sit down and have a family dinner.
So there's systems you can put into your home. [00:06:00] And I think that it's being in corporate America was helpful for me because I was able to take those systems from corporate America that run those. Conglomerate, like I was a manager at Starbucks for a long time. So they run like a very well oiled machine because they have systems in place for how you run that store.
Right. And if you could take some of those things and put them into your home life, now you've got a well oiled home life without having an expense of a personal assistant or a chef. And you're able to just really automate and like run your home in a way that's smoother. And not as chaotic. So it reduces stress, increases family happiness, and again, saves time and money.
I love that. Can you give us an example of one type of, one way that you show people how to automate their their household? Yeah, I'll actually give you two because they're my two favorites. So one is in your kitchen, right? So your kitchen is, so what's for dinner [00:07:00] is the dilemma that everybody Faces on the planet, right?
It doesn't matter if you have kids or don't what's for dinner is always a dilemma. So I think it matters a lot more when you have kids. Well, yes, it does matter. Some experience of both that's fair. So, helping moms really have a well stocked. pantry and freezer. So you can have a loose meal. I'm not a huge advocate of the you prep, meals for 30 days and freeze them all on a Sunday.
That's fine if that's what you want to do. But if you don't want to do that, and you want to have a, just an idea, I help moms with really how to have those The staples in your fridge, pantry, and freezer at all times and the ongoing list, right? So you, let's say you have three, cans of black beans and you pull can number, two and you only have one left, you throw it on the list, right?
To buy two more cans. So you always are a little bit ahead of the game and then that way you can get those family favorite meals on the table in under [00:08:00] 30 minutes. Having a loose plan and knowing roughly like, what you're going to eat throughout the week for dinner allows you the freedom to that morning, pull out the chicken from the freezer or, The steak or the salmon or whatever.
So that's one way. And, an organized pantry and an organized kitchen, it's like in the U S like 1, 500 to have somebody come in and set your kitchen up, but you can do it yourself in a way that works for your family. A little bit at a time, right? It doesn't have to be all at once. You can do things a little bit at a time.
I always say like, the laundry didn't get dumped, the pile of laundry, an airplane didn't fly over your house and drop it on your couch. Right. It happened a little bit at a time. So how do we, Are you sure? I swear. You and every mom. How do you mitigate that? Right. Get your kids involved. Like even kids as young as five can, right?
Maybe they can't fold the laundry thing, but they're laundry away, right? So like, divvying up, because it's, we all know the saying, it [00:09:00] takes a village, but then I think we forget that in our own households, and the mom takes on such a big chunk of it, right? So that's, yeah, that's one way. And the other thing that I, that kitchen one, I just want to throw this one out there in case anyone it's dinnertime right now when you're listening to this and you don't know what you're going to have and you don't have that fully stocked pantry, really cool new thing that you can do with either chat GPT or Microsoft co pilot or any of those things is you can type in.
I've got these ingredients in my fridge and my and my cupboard, what can I Pop out a recipe in about two seconds. Oh, that's awesome. I did not know that. Chat, GBT did that. There is also an app. It does everything. Budget Eats, which . Yes. Yeah. Yeah, you gotta love it. Budget Eats, go on. It's also an app called Budget Eats, and it does the same thing and it's also, I think it's free, or if it's not free, it's like $5 a year.
So super inexpensive. Yeah. Awesome. All right. What's the second automation tip? The second automation tip that I absolutely 1000 [00:10:00] percent love is really setting up zones in your home. And what I mean by that is oftentimes moms work from home, right? Or they have a side hustle as we like to call it, or they are a part of an MLM.
So there's not a dedicated office space with a closed door, right? Life still is happening throughout the day. Oftentimes they're maybe working at a kitchen table or they have an office, but the door's open and there's lots of distractions. So you're getting pulled in a lot of directions, right? By setting up zones.
Well, there's, this is twofold, but we'll talk about work first. So setting up zones, even if it's your kitchen table is your office, having a really clear cutoff time and closing the laptop, picking everything up, putting it away and being done for the evening signals your brain into the transition of now it's family time.
And it signals to the family that you're That now this is a space for us to sit down and eat dinner, right? That's one of your values. Either way it's just this and this [00:11:00] is good for anybody, right? The signal of the transition of I'm going from work into a relaxing time in my home, especially working from home, I think is so very important.
That being said. You can also set up zones where it's like, the playroom is the playroom and the toys stay in the playroom. If you have stairs, you have a basket at the bottom of the stairs, everything that you pick up that needs to go upstairs, gets thrown in the basket. Next person to go up, takes it up, puts it in whatever rooms people are responsible for putting away their own things, and then.
Your house stays pretty fairly picked up and organized and if you're getting I'm implementing that basket one. I love it I love the basket. It's and it's great to have a basket. It sounds so it's one of those things Sorry, this is not End up talking over each other. The thing is, it seems so simple, just like any invention you hear about.
As soon as you hear about it, you're like, oh, why didn't they figure that out hundreds of years ago? But yeah, they even have baskets. If you have stairs, they have baskets that [00:12:00] actually fit on the stairs. They're like, stairs have to look good. So there's some really cool things you can do with that.
And then, I say like, if you, I talked to so many moms that have, they're overrun with clutter because kids bring in a lot of things and they outgrow them and it's hard to keep up on it. Right. So get the whole family involved. And I always say. But don't make it fun. It's I think that again This is one of those like we have to declutter the entire house this Saturday.
That's Just unrealistic, right? You're gonna have meltdowns gonna want to go back and do it Nobody's gonna want to pick it up where it left off. And so you're gonna end up with this bigger mess So pick it up A room or like, for 20 minutes, we're going to blast the music. We're going to clean up all of the surfaces of every like bathroom, dressers, kitchen counters.
And at the end of it, we're going to have pizza or we're going to go get ice cream, like just breaking those things down into smaller, more manageable chunks alleviate so much pressure. And then again, like gives a whole [00:13:00] family that sense of satisfaction. Yeah, that's fantastic. So by following your coaching, Stephanie what's the core result that your clients end up with?
More time and less chaos is really what it is. More time and less chaos, which sounds like happiness to me. Happiness. Yes. And really living, life on your terms. And I always say like, this is the one thing that I think is hard for Any coaching industry, right? It's, it seems very, or it feels not, it feels cookie cutter, right?
Like, well, it worked for me, so it'll work for you. And that's not true of individuals. And it's certainly not true of families. And. So I do really small group coaching so that there can be that individualized piece because like I said, like my kids are grown and out of the house now. So my life looks very different than a mom who is Scott, three kids under the age of eight, like that looks very [00:14:00] different versus the mom who has teenagers that don't drive yet, but are in activities and dating and, all of the dances and things that they're going to.
So. I, it's really figuring out what works for you in this season of life and then how to take those core pieces that you can implement as you grow. And honestly, like just teaching our kids a different way and setting the example that we're breaking those gender roles and that, it's. The girl doesn't always have to cook and clean and the boy has to do all the yard work.
All of those things can work together and the family can come together as a whole. And it can be an activity that helps the house run smooth and brings the family together. I love it. So with that, can you share with us a success story where your coaching made a difference in your clients lives? Yeah, for sure.
Don't use any real names, please. I don't have to edit them out. All right. I had a client who was going through a divorce and had just had a baby with the person that [00:15:00] she found out was unfortunately cheating on her. So the baby was, I think three months old, very small. And then she also had two other children in the home up to preteen and was just struggling with.
Just life in general, right? Was having a hard time getting out of bed, was having a hard time cooking and cleaning, having a hard time, had energy to be with her children, but that was the extent of where it left, but still also obviously had to show up for work and pay bills and put dinner on the table.
So, we worked together for a few months And we, I, we were very one on one and at the end of it, she reached out and she was just like, I, you got me through one of the darkest days of my life time period because without that help, she couldn't even, it was hard for her to even have the brain capacity at that point to order pizza, but you know, also who wants to order pizza every night for months.
[00:16:00] So it was, she was able to just have some breathing room because it was somebody else. And her plan out those things and giving a guideline and a road map until she was able to overcome that period of her life. And she's thriving now and her kids are beautiful. And she's, with somebody new,
somebody good. Yeah, I was gonna say I'm not a dating expert. I had nothing to do with that. That was all her. Yeah, well, you'd be surprised. As you would know. I'm sure her demeanor has become a lot more positive. She's being a lot more herself. So, it was a lot easier to attract the right person.
You make a bigger difference than you realize. Well, thank you. How do you, with, when you're working with a client, how do you identify and unlock their potential? Even if they're unaware of it themselves? So I we have a few exercises and I start with a really simple thing So the exercise that I originally give them is a questionnaire survey, right where they tell me some really basics about their life You know their [00:17:00] schedule.
It doesn't have to be super detailed but just an essential overview of what their week looks like and then Really the area that they struggle with the most, which again, typically I find for moms, it is at dinnertime. So we start with meal planning with a done for you, grocery shopping list based off of their preferences and their, I used to use an Instacart list.
So based off of the store that they shop at and then we get into their core values. And then from there, we really dive into the areas of their home that they are struggling with. So is it, do they need some decluttering or is their house pretty? Uncluttered, but they are still taking on too much.
And how do we set those systems up for their home to be automated? And the I love the I forget the name of it. I may just totally went on my head. Say subscribe and save, I think is what it is. So you things are just on auto ship, right? Like, that's another thing that has come about in the last few years.
It's fantastic. Things show up at your door, right? So [00:18:00] we get their home set up into where it's really runs well. And those things and not everybody needs the same level, right? So. So really by just having conversation, getting to know the client better, I'm able to pick and choose the pieces of my program that they can dive into to start getting some of that freedom back.
And then we work a lot on their schedule and really how do they. especially if they work, how do they maximize their time and put like items together? So there, because let's face it, we all, every mother on the planet will tell you she's the best multitasker. She'll also tell you that she's the most exhausted person you've ever met.
And that is because, multitasking is a myth. Like it's drains us emotionally and mentally. And so really being able to show how you can put, Like things together in days and then pre schedule out those like doctor appointments and things that are personal, dates with your spouse or your partner and [00:19:00] time for yourself and then building your schedule around that and setting really clear boundaries is really where the big transformation piece comes, but that typically comes after some of the smaller wins of just getting the immediate things that feel really overwhelming dialed in.
Yeah. All right, well, I guess when you're working with them, then what are some, I know everyone is different as you say, but what are some common challenges that keep coming up with client after client? Yeah, so the common challenges are, again, the what's for dinner the overwhelm of there's, it's a never ending, As you, you are a human, you have housework, right?
It's a thankless job. The laundry is never going to be finished, right? Dishes are always going to show up back up dirty. So how, that taking that piece and again, getting everybody involved and helping create more independent children and not feeling like that it's, there's studies and research that have shown, again, in America that that women take on an additional [00:20:00] 40 hours on average per week of the silent workload, right?
And men take on two. And so how do we balance that out a little bit more too? Yeah. And some of that's just asking for help, right? It's asking for help and it's having conversations and then that leads to less resentment. In your relationships, it leads to better open communication. I don't believe, personally, that like, men choose to not do things.
I think that it's, like, I know for me, like, when I originally started asking for help, right, was I had to let go of the way things looked, right? It's, things aren't going to be dusted perfectly, and their towels aren't going to look beautifully folded. Who cares? Yeah. But you have to let that piece go. So I think those are common challenges.
And then I, again, just the exhaustion and not having any time to yourself. And I think that comes with asking for help, having more people involved so that you have time to sit in silence and [00:21:00] drink your coffee or read a book or go on a walk or have a date night. You have the energy to actually show up and be present.
And yeah. Not thinking about work when you're with your family and not thinking about your family when you're at work, like you, it's retraining our brains to some extent, and that's just, I think that's a challenge that is, when you can get there or get closer, it's such a relief, but it's so hard to get there, right?
And sometimes it just takes somebody giving you permission to switch your thinking. Yeah, I was going to say earlier but I forgot, but with working from home thing and separating that space during COVID, I heard when everybody that was working from home I heard of a tip, which was to create a fake commute and some people would get up in the morning, take a bicycle ride around the block, and then Go into work.
And then when they're done with work, hop on the bicycle, take a ride around the block and then they're home. So that [00:22:00] helps separate things as well. I love that. Yeah. And I love that. And I've also encourage people no matter who you are, if you work from home, before you go into work mode, if you say you can't.
Maybe you don't have a bike and you can't, you're not gonna take a walk, whatever the situation is. Yeah. Sitting at your desk and just closing your eyes and just taking three deep breaths. Put your feet on the ground, three deep breaths. It slows you down. And it's that, again, just that mental switch into now I'm ready for work.
And then again, before you close up for the day. The three deep breaths. It just, it's again, it's that our minds are so fascinating. And if we have that signal, then we go, okay, I'm ready to move into that next thing now. Can I ask then I think that leads into a little bit of what kinds of, do you give your clients homework?
Oh I mean there's always a little bit of homework that comes with it because it's their home, right, so they [00:23:00] have to do some of the work. I mean I don't go in and declutter for them. Yeah, what kinds of homework do you give them then? So again, that depends on like they do their own grocery shopping I do like I say give them an instacart list that they wanted to have it delivered they could we together go through and figure out a like a par So this is roughly like how many rolls of toilet paper you use a month and how many?
Rolls of paper towels and we put those on some sort of system, whether it be a target or an Amazon And have it set up so that they can just order those and then it's just a ping either on your phone or on your computer but those are things they have to be actively involved in because again, there's you know I don't there's no way for me to know that right?
So it's homework like that, but I really try to keep all of, I, I do my best to keep my trainings under 20 minutes because they're busy. And I really try to give them the least amount of homework or another thing to do. Yeah, cool. So you do most of it [00:24:00] together. Yes, exactly. That's why I love the VIP sessions because they, those are an hour and a half each.
I break them up over four days so they can pick times throughout that four days that work for their schedule, but in that where it's a working session. So I'm not telling you how to do set your kitchen up. We're going through and actually setting your kitchen up. So at the end of the hour and a half, you have.
a pretty good idea of how to stock your pantry and it's organized a little bit and the old stuff you're never going to eat thrown out. And then the other hour and a half is really on like, how do you go through your schedule and set up your, like, your family and your personal care or should be, and your relationship should be the most important thing on your schedule.
Right. So putting those in and then building your schedule around it. And then how can we free up some time? So I'm usually able. after looking at a client's schedule for a week, if they track their time, I can, on average, able to free up one to four hours immediately. [00:25:00] And that's just another set of eyes per week.
Yeah.
I love it. I love how practical this stuff is. I'm sure you do some stuff on mindset as well, but yeah, there's a lot of very practical stuff within your coaching. There is. And I, yeah, the mindset I feel like comes through. really. Right? Like having a decluttered house and having less, yep.
Yeah, . Exactly. Yeah. I love it. And then you start saying, like, you value your time that you have, right, to go take yourself to lunch and a movie. And so when somebody asks you to take on an extra thing, you say no, because you don't want to give up that time for yourself and you don't want to give up family time with your family either.
So you start being stronger in, no, I like this life I've designed, right? And so I want to hold true to this. And again, that doesn't mean you'll never. Like, I always am very clear. Like if you want to volunteer, if you want to bake the cookies, do the thing for sure, but know that you're giving up something else to do that.
And so [00:26:00] how does that weigh on the scale? Yeah. Which one do you want to do more? Which one's going to make you feel the best? That's fantastic. Yeah, I feel like if I were in charge of giving you a title, it would be, rather than Life Coach or whatever coach, it would be Life Architect. Oh, I like that.
You can have it, you can have it so we'll just finish up with two questions just to make sure that we've covered everything. So, first up, is there anything that we started talking about that you didn't get to say as much as you wanted? Because we had it up in a different direction. Oh, I don't think so.
I think these were really good. Practical tips that can help hopefully anyone listening, right? And not again, just moms, because we all have a home. We all have systems. We all have laundry. We all have schedules. So hopefully anybody listening was able to glean some piece of information. So, yeah, this is great.
Let's say you're a dad and you have an extra two hours that you put into your week, maybe you could do a few more and help out. [00:27:00] Mom . That's true. , you could work on automating some of this stuff that she does or whatever. Is there anything about you, your philosophy? And just if we're taking a survey course of Stephanie Jones there would be a glaring omission that we haven't covered today.
I think, maybe this already came through, but I think the biggest thing is that I just, I really live by the philosophy of.
That it can be different, right? It doesn't have to be that you're, you can do all of the activity. Your kids can be in all the activities. You can work, you can have all of the things you want, but you just, you cannot do it all. And so I'm really empathetic to wanting that, right? Wanting that for my kids, wanting that for myself and not, which is how I came into this work, right?
I didn't know how to. And did hit burnout. And so I'm really empathetic to the mentality behind it. But I, so I'm not a like, well, you can't do that anymore. Like it's a [00:28:00] process. And so I'm a really empathetic coach and it takes as long as it takes. And sometimes it takes, an hour and somebody just is like, Oh my God, I'm not, I'm just gonna stop doing that.
And sometimes it takes months or years and either way is okay. It's your life and it's your process. And it's the result that matters, not the amount of time that it takes. Exactly. Yes.
Go ahead. Sorry. Oh, I was just gonna say, which is why I like to start with those really quick wins, because there's other things that are bigger that does take more time. But if you can start seeing immediate freedom, right? And less stress, then that's where you're just, the other work becomes so much easier.
So, especially with as soon as you've got an extra 1 to 4 hours, you're already making it in your weekend. Fantastic. Well, Stephanie this podcast I am doing for 2 main reasons number 1. So, everybody that wants to can listen and just clean as much information as I can [00:29:00] from all different kinds of coaches, all different types of personalities, whatever.
But then. There will be some other people who are listening today, for example, and hear Stephanie Jones and think, I need her in my life helping me to move forward. How would those people find you? You can find me on social media, almost everywhere at The Boundaries, babe. And I am on, yeah, that's the mindset piece, right?
It's all around boundaries. It's the boundaries, babe. Yep, exactly. And then you can find me on Instagram at Steph underscore the boundaries babe. And that's really the, those are the best ways. I do have a newsletter that if you just find me on social media I can get you into my world the easiest and I love connecting.
I love connecting with people and I love having these conversations and, whether it leads to something or it doesn't, if I can help even one person, mom or not mom, have less stress in their life then. My job today is done. Fantastic, Stephanie. Good [00:30:00] stuff. And you can always find all of my links at jeremywest.
net. Thank you very much, Stephanie. We'll talk to you again soon. Thank you. Have a great day.