"This is a Wartime Bulletin for all Helldivers of Super Earth – we have urgent reports coming in. We're taking you live to our studio for the latest developments, unfiltered and as they unfold. We take you to Joe Turner" It is 20 100 hours on 03/31/2224

"Good citizens, an insidious Automaton attack has compromised our Helldivers' communications network! Reports indicate internal system corruption is leading to disruptions in Hellpod deployments and power outages aboard our ships. This digital sabotage is preventing our brave Helldivers from making the crucial jumps to systems under siege!"

"This is a Wartime Bulletin for all citizens of Super Earth – urgent news demands your attention! A heroic victory has unfolded as our valiant Helldivers have triumphantly completed the Major Order to Liberate Troost. In a strategic masterstroke, our forces captured the Deep-space comms array. Furthermore, the Ministry of Truth's Intel Corp has been deployed, uncovering pivotal intelligence that could turn the tide in our ongoing struggle. Now, for the latest developments."

"Furthermore, the gallant forces of our Helldivers are stretched thin due to these technical treacheries, compounded by General Mark Clark's mismanagement of critical resources on the bug front. The Ministry of Defense has taken swift action, and General Clark has been relieved of duty. Stepping in is General Georgy Zhukov, a decisive leader ready to rally our troops against the Automatons. General Zhukov has restructured the deployment orders, ensuring the most effective use of our forces. Here was his speech earlier today."

"Folks, it's high time we focus on fightin' smart. I'm redirectin' our strength to where it'll hit hardest. This ain't about numbers; it's about tactics. And with your courage, we'll push these metal monstrosities back to the scrap heap. Y'all have my word: we will prevail. For Super Earth!"

"General Zhukov's first order of business is the deployment of new armaments to the front lines... Ministry of Defense spokesperson Colonel Beauregard addressed the public earlier today. This is what she had to say"

"Fellow citizens, the Ministry is pleased to announce the arrival of the LAS-99 Quasar Cannon and the MG-206 to our arsenal. Now, the Quasar's a game-changer – packs more punch per shot than our standard Anti-Tank. Sure, you'll wait a hot second before she fires and cool down afterward, but it beats throwing your armament down. As for the MG-206, well, she's a beast against those shrieker nests. Takes a bit to reload, but she shreds through 'em like butter. Just remember, y'all – these are tools of liberty, not toys. Let's use 'em right."

Now back to the Bulletins

"A reminder to all Helldivers: Throwing snow may be a child's pastime, but on the battlefield, it's a crash waiting to happen – save those snowballs for a wintry day, not when democracy's on the line!"

In the spirit of our recent triumphs and ongoing challenges, this Friday, GNR-107 is honored to host an exclusive interview with an esteemed intel officer from the Ministry of Truth. Tune in to gain unparalleled insights into the inner workings and future plans of our intelligence operations."

"Lastly, the call to arms resonates across the galaxy: the liberation of Tibit is of paramount importance. The enemy amasses there, and it's our duty to cut off their production at the source. Commit to the fight, Helldivers. Our unity is their defeat."

"Stay vigilant and stay tuned to GNR-107 for more updates. For Super Earth, for liberty, for all of us – this is Joe Turner signing off." 

"Today's episode of Wartime Bulletin was brought to you by the diligent voices of liberty and the undying spirit of our Helldivers. Special thanks go out to those who have been tuning in and listening. To those who have assisted with the writing and voice acting. A few announcements; a very special thanks to M.J. Hanks for allowing me to play his song at the intro; if you want to check out the full version, please do. There will be a link in the description below. Also, be on the lookout for a Discord server for those who want to volunteer their time to assist with the podcast; writers, artists, and voice actors are always needed. That's currently being worked on and should be rolling out soon. Well, Thanks for listening. Tune in this Friday morning for Episode 3.