jeremywest&lyndarose
Jeremy: [00:00:00] Welcome to Jeremy Chats with Coaches. Thank you. Today I've got with me Lynda Rose.
How are you? Good. Good. Linda can you please start by just sharing a little bit about who you are as a person and how you came to the coaching life? Sure. Firstly, thanks for having me on your show. It's nice to chat with other health professionals or people that are interested in health and wellness.
My journey began probably about it did begin in 2011 when I was diagnosed with non Hodgkin's lymphoma that took a hold of my spleen. So I went through a big journey of having my spleen removed. I went through two years of an immunotherapy treatment. And of course, during that time, I queried everything that I was doing and changed my nutrition to help my body.
do its best to [00:01:00] get well and that's fairly much where I started my journey. So that's, what are we, about 13 years ago now? Yeah, something like that. Excellent. So what would you say then is the, is your core philosophy behind your coaching? My core philosophy is interesting. I've been thinking about this, a lot the last week or since we spoke anyhow is in your life, you can choose to be proactive about your future and how you intend to live your life, or you can be passive and just take on everyone's advice and do nothing with it.
So my philosophy is to hold life by the horns and learn as much as you can, because I'm a learning nerd. I like to learn all the time. And find your own way in the world because you're the driver of your destiny. No one else can [00:02:00] influence this and do the best you can to find out in your journey, who you are and what your purpose is.
Fantastic. So what, you said that your journey with this sort of started with your diagnosis of lymphoma or non Hodgkin's lymphoma. Do you, are a lot of your clients or all of your clients going through health issues? Or what's the main issue? What's your niche of people to coach? I think generally people come to coaching for health.
They usually have a health issue. That brings them to me because I'm a lifestyle and nutrition coach. So they look for the nutrition side of things. So generally it's people that have had, or are going through some kind of a health trauma and need some advice about nutritional intake and mindset.
So my niche is. Those people. Yeah, people. And how do they [00:03:00] normally find you? They find me through Instagram, they find me through Facebook, they find me through word of mouth, they find me through podcasts that's where they find me. Excellent. Yeah, so at the end of the podcast, I'll give you the, to plug what, how people can find you.
Can you, with that core philosophy that you have, that basically, if I can tell me if I've got this right, it's basically, The core philosophy is that you can take control and make the direction of your own life, rather than just letting it happen to you. Yes. Is that your core philosophy? Yeah. With that core philosophy, how does that translate into tangible results for your clients?
Good question. Good question. So My biggest joy is when my clients realize their own intuition and their own self worth. Because intuition and self [00:04:00] worth has a lot to do with the steeringship of your life, I feel, in my experience. So if we as human beings can tune into that intuition that we all have innately in ourselves and learn to trust that.
So that's a muscle that we need to exercise and trust. We can do all sorts of things that are good for us to do. So I guess it's like your gut feeling is another way of looking at it. So when you're choosing a pathway for yourself, it's really important to notice If that gut feeling or that intuition is a good, strong feeling for you, like a positive energy.
So do you have ways of checking that's a strong and positive energy? In your there's no scientific proof for this, but for myself personally, when I know that I'm on the right path for things, I feel good in myself. My energy is bright and lifted. I just [00:05:00] know that I've made the right choice for me, and things fall into place positively along the way.
And so do you sometimes have clients who are trying to choose between one or two different gut feelings, And yeah, do you have that happen? And then what, how do you deal with that? No, I haven't had them having a conflict because generally they always seem to work it out through coaching, which is the best pathway for them to take.
Because no one can tell you this no one can tell you which pathway to take. It has to be a choice made from your own conscience and your own mindset. It's so true, it's funny is I've always found The less I talk as a coach, the more they talk, the more they think I've given them ideas, even though they say, oh, my God, thank you so much for that.
You clarified everything and you've given me this great idea of what else you're doing. And I say. I didn't give you that idea. You're the one who said [00:06:00] that. I always work it out, right? It's always there after a little bit of talking, it always comes out and it's always the right choice. I agree. Totally.
That's exactly how I coach my clients. It's so fascinating. And I love this show because if you're doing good coaching, you're probably not doing a lot of talking. And what I've found then is this podcast is a place where. And we're doing a lot of coaching, which is a great thing. Because it's a great way for coaches get to share a lot more of the information and do a lot more talking than they get to do in their sessions, normally with clients.
Could you share with me, Linda and if you if you want to use names, maybe you use a. an alias for them but could you share a success story where your coaching methods made a significant difference in A client's life or career or whatever it was that they were working towards in their life.
Sure. Yep. Yep. One springs to mind immediately. It was a young lady in her mid thirties. I think [00:07:00] she was about to been a couple of years ago, but it really highlighted to me how we work as humans. It was we were in an NLP session. Do you know, neurolinguistic programming? Yes, I do. But can you please describe it for listeners?
Yeah, so neurolinguistic programming is just I explain it as being your filter that you look through the world and everyone has a different filter because of your brain. Childhood, your past experiences, the way that you've seen the world or you've viewed the world. And we all have this filter on that sees the world so completely different to everybody else.
And I think even that in itself is a huge realisation that no one sees the world the same as you do. So this young lady had a fear of, she felt like when she was in a room talking to people that they all chatted about her behind her back when she'd left the room. We did some chatting together and it came out within the group, because [00:08:00] it was a group training session, that a lot of people felt the same way, that people chatted about them when they walked out of the room.
But the beautiful thing for this young lady was her realisation that she wasn't crazy, that she actually thought the same in this instance as everybody else, and it was just a real freedom for her to realise Within the context of the group training, everybody might sorry, everybody doesn't talk about you when you leave, but we all have the perception that they do.
So it was a freedom for her to understand that it's okay for others to have a different perspective and to not I guess react to their perspective, but just to allow that perspective to be. And she didn't have to own it. She still had her own perspective and her own point of view. And it was a real turning point for her because she had struggled with this since she was a teenager.
And it was just a nice breakthrough for her to feel confident in herself, she was able then to walk into rooms with people [00:09:00] and not worry about how she looked and how she dressed and what she's turning up perfectly because she knew that everyone in the room viewed the world differently to her and it didn't matter what they thought because it had no impression on herself, on her own thoughts.
And I the way that she did things. It was just a real freedom for her. And you could notice that in her body, her whole energy changed. Her eyes became brighter. And she just walked with a little bit more confidence. It was a really lovely moment, actually. Yeah, I love that. That's actually. That was a turning point in my life as well.
When I realized that. I always thought everyone was thinking bad things about me but it turns out that everyone is actually too busy worrying about what people are thinking about them to think about you at all. So in reality, I don't know if you're a narcissist, this might bother you, but in reality, they're probably not thinking about you much at all when you're not around.
No. And how freeing is that? Isn't that a fantastic feeling to [00:10:00] think When you finally have the realisation that everyone's busy thinking about themselves and they're not really judging you or noticing anything weird that you think you're projecting that everyone is just accepting of everybody else in their own beautiful form, which is just, it's such a lovely place to have in your heart and in your mind.
No one is talking about you. We're all the same. We're all just thinking about ourselves. It sounds a bit selfish and a bit self centered, but it's actually true. It's actually true. Yep. Yeah. It's actually, it's exactly what you said. It's freeing to know that everyone else is worrying about what everyone's thinking about them instead of actually thinking about you or, like I just, an example here in, in the, I guess most of the podcast listeners won't see this, but in this app I've got rainbow colored sunglasses and in this recording app and a rainbow part, and guess what?
I'm actually straight. But it's [00:11:00] just in, in solidarity with my LGBT friends and family. And back when I cared what people thought about me, I would've never worn that stuff. 'cause I would've been like, oh, what if they think I'm gay? I'm here now. Yeah. But just is it interesting though that even to wear rainbow glasses really highlights the fact that everyone sees the world.
You could even say. That they see the world in different colors as a metaphor to how they think to, to everybody else, like I might see the world through purple glasses and someone else sees the world through magenta or pink or yellow. It's just that we all have a different perspective of how the world runs.
And the really freeing part of that is that you don't have to get involved in the way that. or the point of view of someone else, you can just let the feeling sit and know that it's okay. It doesn't change you, doesn't make you become, have to see the world through the same eyes as somebody else. And it's really interesting to [00:12:00] even chat with someone and see how their perspective and understand their perspective.
It's really that's really a powerful conversation to have with someone if if you're butting heads with someone and you can't quite get together about a, some decision that you have to make. If you take that time to sit and say this is how I am viewing it. And then the other person can say, it's a bit like holding a peace pipe.
One talks and then somebody else talks, and then you hold the piece pipe and you talk and someone else holds the piece pipe and they talk. It's a little bit like that, and at the end of the conversation, you both don't come out with butt heads anymore, butting against each other's perspectives. You have an equilibrium of feeling of balance where you both can see each other's perspective, and you can work through whatever situation you are working through and come out of it.
Okay? It's all right. Absolutely. Yeah, I left something I read or heard sometime in the last couple of [00:13:00] years and I don't remember where I read it or heard it, but it doesn't really matter. It's the essence of it is stuck with me and that is. To just assume that everyone that you come in contact with is doing their very best for their genetic makeup and their environment and all the things that have happened to them.
And that does 2 things. Number 1, there's no reason to hold grudges because. They're doing their best and then number two, if their best isn't good enough and for you, then you don't have them in your life. But again, you don't have to hold a grudge. You can easily forgive because I don't know that's not exactly the same as what you were talking about perspective, but it really reminded me of that.
Yeah. So the forgiving is the wisdom, right? So you can forgive if you've had an upset with someone, you can forgive the action or whatever you didn't like that upset you. But the wisdom is. knowing that has happened and being okay with that, but knowing [00:14:00] that person might do that again. Yeah, but also if they're, this whole thing where it's stereotypically women, but I think it's both are all genders, whatever we want to say about how people get with a partner and they like everything about them, except this 1 thing that they think they can change or will change.
Also knowing that everyone is doing their best, then you can go actually they're already doing their best. So if their best isn't good enough for me, then they're not the right person for me. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And there's a lot of that. I feel there's from talking to clients, there's a lot of angst against parents about why did they do that?
And how did they do that? And why wasn't it done this way? And that's a big, That's a big fishing hook that parents are doing the job that they do with the information they have with their own life experience. It's never going to be perfect. But you really can't judge your parents for that because they're doing the best they can, you have to put yourself in their shoes.
And again, if the [00:15:00] best that they can do, once you're an adult and you make your own decisions, if the best that they can do is harming your life, you don't have to have them in your life, but you also don't have to harbour those because it's only harming you to hold onto those grudges, isn't it?
It's not harming them anyway, go ahead. You go. No, you go. I'm not ready. Oh so it's now I've just got to remember what I was going to say. I was going to say, so it's like an acceptance of that's how they are. And you can't change that person, whether it's your parent, your brother, your sister, your uncle, you just have to know that's that person.
And I can either butt heads with them, I can't have that discussion with them because I'm not ready to have that piece of pipe talk with them yet, but not to let it influence how you think, just know, just have a knowing that's that situation is that situation and you can't change it.
So you just have to work within yourself about how am I going to cope with that situation then. What will I do? What choices will I make? [00:16:00] How can I I don't want to use the word resonate. I want to use a different word that's slipping me. But how can I come to terms with that situation and not have it upset me?
Because it's all about ourselves, right? That's right. That parenting talk. It reminded me of do you know the onion up the satirical news site? So it reminded me of an article. I just brought it up. It's from the October 26, 2011, but I'm bringing it back. It's a headline is study finds every style of parenting produces disturbed, miserable adults.
I'll just make a paragraph or 2. A study released by the California Parenting Institute Tuesday shows that every style of parenting inevitably causes children to grow into profoundly unhappy adults. Our research suggests that while overprotective parenting ultimately produces adults unprepared to contend with life's difficulties, highly permissive parenting leads to feelings of bitterness and isolation throughout adulthood.
And interestingly, we found that anything between those 2 extremes is equally [00:17:00] damaging, always resulting in an adult who suffers from debilitating combination of unpreparedness and isolation and so on. But if you if anyone wants to look that 1 up, it's just I just searched the onion. Every style of parenting.
But it's funny because it's true. It is. Isn't it weird because you've just reminded me that our Indigenous culture in Australia, our Aboriginal people the aunties raise the babies. The aunties. Oh, the aunties, yes. I hope I'm correct. I hope I'm correct. I'm not speaking out of turn here.
You're probably correct about 1 or 2 or so many of the nations, but not all of them. That's what I had a good chat the other day with an indigenous man here in hospital. And I learned a lot about. Yeah, they're all very different nations, but they all get lumped together as aboriginals or. Indigenous people.
Yeah. Yeah. . But yeah, go on. When you think about the aunties raised Yeah. The aunties raised the children. So if you think about, when we lived as tribes and [00:18:00] tribal people, perhaps that's what happened back in the day, that the aunties and the uncles raised the childrens, and the mothers and the dad were there for the love aspect or the nurturing.
Yep. And the aunties and the uncles set the rules for each other's kids. So maybe that makes a difference. I don't know. Maybe it produces different adults. I don't know, but it's just an interesting thing. I feel as people, we lose a bit of connection with our past and with our cultures, whatever they may be.
And there's things to learn. There's things to learn that we've forgotten. It certainly helps to have more, Adults and I've heard about cultures where it's the grandparents that raise the children because then the parents have the children in their adolescent years And when the grandparents raise them, But any but at any rate the whole it's a whole it takes a village thing Yeah, there's a tribe.
I believe still in south america that the people there are all Polyamorous, so they don't make a [00:19:00] commitment to only be with one person. And the they consider that every man who has had sex with the mother is the father, not just the one who's sperm. Oh, and then every mother they pass the baby around to nurse it, and every woman who nurses the baby is the mother.
And some Westerner was there and said how do you know who the real father is, the real mother? And they said, You Westerners, or whatever, you guys are weird. Why do you care who, who's the quote unquote real? We all take care of them. We all care about them. That's funny, isn't it? That's a different perspective, isn't it?
And it's funny. And that screws them up in a different way. Yeah probably. I guess it would only screw them up if they came out of that culture maybe and went into a different world of living and saw that things could be different. Maybe they, maybe then they question.
Maybe that upsets them. I don't know. It's bizarre. Our minds are bizarre. Now, I'm gonna do this for the first [00:20:00] time and if it's not good, I'll edit it out. But this is episode four, but it's the first time we've had a listener actually send in a little voice clip while they're listening and I'm gonna just play it and see what it is.
Here we go. Maybe.
What's up guys. It's your boy Bobby digital. Hope I'm not interrupting nothing, but I did want to confirm that. Yeah, we all are thinking of ourselves and people actually do have good intentions for us. Even if they're not always expressed. That's what I find anyway. And I appreciate the positive message you guys are sending Jeremy.
It's good to see you. And Linda, you guys have an excellent night. Your boy Digits, in this, do we. Thanks Bobby Digital, he's, looks like he's not here anymore, but maybe he'll hear the recording. Thanks Bobby. That's very beautiful, wasn't that a nice little thing to say? I really appreciate that, that's gorgeous.
And he's right, we, people do have good intentions for everyone. Good intentions for everyone and that's a key point to hold on to is that people do have good [00:21:00] intentions for each other. It's how you receive those good intentions that sometimes might upset the apple cart. Sometimes you might not. See it as useful or helpful and that's where the apple cart tips.
Yeah, that actually brings up a story to me. I haven't I've tried to just ask questions and not talk that much on this podcast so far, but I'm about to share a story. And I shared in the last episode how I got hurt and ended up in hospital. So if you're listening and you don't know about that was in the last episode.
But my next door neighbor, I live in a caravan park in Mount Warning, and We so we were neighbors before I moved in next door to him, but we never had a conversation one on one until the day that I was moving in next door to him. And he, I waved and said, hello. And he said, he's just, he's a miserable drunk.
And he replied, never. Never say hello to me. If you were lying in a ditch [00:22:00] dying, I wouldn't help you. And I said oh, okay. I love you and if you were lying in a ditch dying, I would help you. And he said that would be the stupidest mistake I ever made, letting you help me. And I have no, oh goodness.
At the time I didn't realize, at the time, I didn't realize that he hates almost everybody. I, and I just went. What did I say or do in some we never had one on one conversation, but what did I say or do somewhere that made him hate me? But anyway, he was he's a liar because he's the one who heard me fall off the roof And he heard me scream and he came and he was the first responder and he was very kind He's been mean He's been a little bit of a jerk for the whole year and a half that i've lived next to him complaining about My daughter setting her cup down in the middle of the night too loudly or whatever.
But the day of the accident, he was the one that found me and he, I think it was early enough in the day that he hadn't had too much to drink yet, but he was very nice and kind and he was, kind. Showing concern and the last thing he did was [00:23:00] just before the ambulance took me, he had found some coins that fell out of my pocket and lay them on my chest and said, I think you're going to need a beer when you get there, which I know means a lot to him.
I was talking to my coach, I was talking to my coach about that, and she said, Oh, his shadow value. Usually we think of shadow values as being the negative thing, the values that you don't want other people to know about. And for him, his shadow value is being nice. He's a jerk outright, but when push comes to shove, he's actually nice and helpful.
It's interesting, puts on that tough, gruff exterior, but actually, maybe he wants human connection, doesn't really know how to get there. Do you know? Yeah. Maybe he's too busy being grumpy and hard on the outside until a crisis happens, and then he can connect, which is a bit sad, isn't it? It is, but if you happen to hear this, I won't say your name, but thank you for helping me and thank you for being nice to me when I came back the other day out of hospital.
And [00:24:00] yeah we, I found out who you really are. Yeah, and it's lovely. And it's okay. And it's okay to I like that lovely side of you. It's okay. It's nice. That's a good story. Yeah. So how do you identify and unlock a client's potential, especially when they are unaware of their potential themselves?
Wow, that's a powerful question, Jeremy. You hit me with that one out of nowhere. That's yeah, take as long as you want to To stall with things like talking about it being a powerful question. So how, the question is, how do I help someone unlock their potential when I can see that potential and they can't?
Maybe you don't even know what it is. But so it's not just, not just potential. I also mean if they don't know what they want to do with their lives or whatever, how do you help them unlock that for themselves? Oh, gosh. Okay. How do I help them unlock that for themselves? Probably comes naturally to you, so it takes a little bit of thinking to see how you actually do it.
[00:25:00] It's, I guess it's, I guess my biggest starting point or the beginning of any kind of coaching session is to help that person find their own self worth and their own self confidence. And then I feel that as we go along, their potential grows naturally within themselves and they begin to see.
Oh, I could do that. Or maybe I'll try that. Or they have the confidence to try things and then their self potential grows just through life experience, through trying different things, from reading different books. That's how I would tackle that. I would let it naturally unfold, not put pressure on them and help them to see their own potential as they grow.
That's how I would tackle that. What would you do? Oh, I turn it around on me. I see. Yeah, I think as coaches, when I was taking my coaching certification, [00:26:00] the lady who was the there were a few hundred people there. So the. The guy, what's his name? Benjamin Harvey. He, Benjamin Harvey is the trainer, but he divided us up into groups of five and had an experienced coach.
We all checked in every morning and maybe in the afternoon with the experienced coach and at the beginning of the thing, when he introduced all of those experienced coaches who are going to be leading our groups. The one that ended up being the leader of my group that he asked them all to say what they love about coaching And she said what I love about coaching is that the clients do all the work And so and that's exactly what I found, which is what I told you They don't even know they're doing the work.
They think you are but I just have learned to Ask the right questions and leave [00:27:00] A lot of time for people to answer those questions. And then my favorite question that I ever learned was actually from a sales trainer of mine and that was when you ask someone a question and they say, I don't know, and he'd say.
Okay, but if you didn't know, what would it be? And 9 times out of 10, they'll then give an answer. They don't give an answer. Then well, then the other thing is, I was back on episode 1. Evie the coaches talked on episode 1 gave a good one. She said when she can't draw out of someone, what they're what they want to do, then she'll just start with kind of, I don't know.
Maybe a Rorschach sort of thing where she'll just say just random things like ocean or sunshine and then they'll pick one and then she'll say building or trees and just get the brain start exercising the brain and then if they [00:28:00] then she'll sometimes have them ask her And so we actually did that exercise if anyone wants to listen to that 1st episode and she had me start asking her do all things like that.
And I was just. Just picking random things. And guess what? At one point, I finally got to what was it? I don't remember what, but I said two things that I would be interested in, and it would light me up. And so that was just the beginning. I think that's what she does just to start exercising the brain, but it already brought up what I would like to do.
Yeah, when you hit the right spot and the right questions asked, you can see people's body language completely change. Yeah, and again, somehow they think that you've given them the idea when all you've done is ask questions, which is getting back to that intuition that we don't exercise enough because it's your innate knowledge of yourself that's giving you the answer to the questions at the end of the day, isn't it?
So it's coming from within, which is [00:29:00] how it ought to be. Yeah. Yeah. So it's all there inside you already, but it helps so much to have someone draw it out of you. Yep. Yep. Question you. Yeah, absolutely. Chat and help you to think and speak how you feel. Yeah. It's so powerful. So powerful. I'm just going to play one more message because actually it's given me a transcription and this one's pretty valid to to my little story that I just told.
So here we go. Yeah. I got to remind you guys that. Usually a grumpy grouchy person is just a lion with a thorn in its paw. That's the guy, his name on here is Worm, W I R M, Million, Worm Million. The other listener is his partner, I think, and she told him to come in and listen. Aw, that was nice. Vessel and Worm and anybody else that's hearing this not from the podcast if you go to jeremywest.
net There's a link to all the recordings of this podcast, which is currently titled [00:30:00] conversations with coaches, but that may change slightly because there's already a couple of podcasts with that name. Linda, let's see, where are we at? Let's see how. Okay. I just have a few more. You have a little bit more time.
I've got about 10 minutes. Okay, if you've only got 10 minutes, then I'm going to, I'm going to jump to my last couple of questions here, which are a summary of our conversation and you can either have. And answer to these, or the answer can be no there's nothing that I want to say to that one.
So either one is perfectly fine. So the 1st question is there anything that we started talking about that? You didn't get to say as much as you wanted because we went on a tangent and we headed off in a different direction. No, I think our conversations just had a lovely natural feel to it.
No. Nothing has been uncovered or covered up. That should have been uncovered. Excellent. I do like to go on tangents. So I stole these last two questions from a [00:31:00] comedian friend of mine called Mike Kaplan that asked them on his podcast, Broccoli and Ice Cream. The second one is there anything about you, your philosophy and your work that, Because I don't know you that that I didn't even ask about it didn't even come up.
There would be a glaring omission in a discussion of the life and work of Linda Rose. I guess I would just add that I'm a fairly. Most people would say Australians are fairly relaxed. So when I coach with people, I'm fairly relaxed. I don't have many rules that I have to have this or I have to have that.
I'm a pretty easygoing person and that's my philosophy with my life. It's just take each day as it comes and enjoy it. That's what my, that's how I live. Excellent. That's I think we have a fairly similar style then. Now, the whole point of this. The whole point of this podcast is that anyone who wants to can listen for [00:32:00] free and glean all kinds of different things from all different kinds of coaches that I have on here.
But a few of them are going to at one point in one episode go, Oh my god, that is the person that I need as my coach. They fit exactly with my needs. What I'm looking for, and I think I'd have a good align their coach client alliance with them, which is the most important thing. So those people who are listening who feel that way about Linda rose, how do they get in contact with you?
How do they find you? They can find me on all the social medias. So it's Linda Rose Life and nutritional coach. I think that my handle is. Should know this off the top of my head, shouldn't I? Linda Rose on Instagram. And that's L Y N D A. That's L Y, yes, L Y N D A. My email address is lynda at lyndarose.
com. au. Yeah, that's where they can find me. Excellent. Thank you very [00:33:00] much, Lynda. And hopefully we talk again sometime soon. Sure. Thanks, Jeremy. I've really enjoyed chatting with you. And get well. Keep getting well. Thank you. Thank you so much. Bye bye. All right. Bye bye.