jeremywest&ejfreeman
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Jeremy: [00:00:00] Hello, Elissa Freeman. Welcome to Jeremy chats with Coaches. Now, thank you very much.

Thanks for being my 2nd guest. Full disclosure to the audience, Elissa has been my coach for a number of, it's been a number of years since. It's been official, but I think I'll call you my coach forever.

Nice. I love it. So I know you a bit, but I think I'm going to get to know a lot more about you in the next hour. So tell me, Elissa, who are you and what drew you to coaching?

Who am I? And

that's what I do. That's my passion and greatest gift, I believe. What was the other part of the question, Jeremy? Yeah, that's it. So the other, the second part of the question is what drew you to coaching in the first place? Tell me. The story about how you ended up becoming a coach. Mainly because of my own upbringing, I believe.

So I had a very dysfunctional upbringing [00:01:00] and it caused a lot of trauma in my life. And a lot of, it caused my relationships to fail. It caused me to act out in ways. I had had some addictions to prescription drugs for a while. It. It had me having some eating problems as well. And I trace it all back to some serious dysfunction in my family upbringing.

And I think that also I had a mother who was very, very depressed. So, significantly depressed. So, my mother was suicidal a lot of the time. So, my Childhood memories are often of not knowing if my mother would be alive or dead when I got home from school I know this sounds pretty dark. Wow Yeah, and that's enough to kind of [00:02:00] really crush a person And I think that what it did is because of my love of my mother It really made me think about how I can help other people that are in that situation or have had similar upbringings.

So when people tell me they're in a very dark place, I'm not afraid to go there with them because it's actually very familiar. And I understand it from that from the perspective of being right there in the family with this experience. Thanks. So I think people can open up and be very truthful with me because there's no judgment and I'm able to sit with that comfortably because I think that one, we know often when people will say I'm in a really dark place to their friends or some, or, even perhaps some counselors who aren't very experienced with that.

It can be a a bit of a leap for them, or even for friends, it [00:03:00] can be a very difficult conversation to have. And they say, cheer up, let's change the subject. Yes. You know, don't think about that. Whereas I'm happy to actually go. All you have to do is choose to be happy. Yes, I'll say things like that.

So, I think that what what that made me is, is that to be a compassionate listener. I hope I am. And You certainly are. Because of those experiences. Thank you. So, those experiences. So, those experiences I've been able to turn and help other people. So, it doesn't matter what they tell me, because of the upbringing I have, there's nothing much new to me.

So, I can sit in that place and and then when a person feels that they're being heard, that's when I feel good. I feel good. they're more likely to not only open up but also have some healing. So when a suggestion, [00:04:00] when I might suggest something to a client, they're more likely to perhaps take that on board because of because of my experiences.

Yeah, myself and the fact that there's no judgment. So that's how did you get me into coaching? So then how did you even find out about the career of coaching? It was actually by accident So I was in a Seminar room with my daughter She's 12 years old and someone said oh, you know come along to this seminar and in this seminar.

It was run by Christopher Howard was his name. Mm hmm. And I was sitting there and he was talking actually about hypnotherapy, because he's a hypnotherapist. It is one of his, one of his modalities that he uses, and he's very, very good. My daughter at that time had an [00:05:00] illness, and that was diagnosed as as a anaphylactic response to getting her skin cold.

And it meant you know, as a 12 year old it was very difficult for her to go swimming. She wasn't able to go swimming. She wasn't able to do a lot of things and she had to have me trailing around behind her a lot. So we're sitting in the seminar room and The speaker talked about how hypnotherapy can help allergies, and it was just one moment when my daughter just looked at me and she just said, oh mum.

And that was it for me. Now I could have taken her to see a hypnotherapist but that's not the point. How I roll. I just went right and diving right in. If this can help my daughter, it can help me, it can help other people, it can help everyone in my family, my friends. So I ended up becoming qualified as a clinical hypnotherapist.

That was the very beginning. [00:06:00] And I weave a lot of that into my work. I've noticed and it's quite useful. So what would you say, and I know this is So you're just rediscovering this at the moment, but or bringing out more of yourself in your coaching, but what would you say is the core philosophy behind your coaching?

And how does that translate into tangible results for your clients? So I'll start, I'll break that down to I'll first just say, what's the core philosophy behind your coaching? The philosophy is that I believe that

has the ability to heal.

That's it. Excellent. And how does that translate into tangible results for your clients? So the results for clients depends on what they want. It's not necessarily the results I want for them. So this is about the, so when the client comes to me, they will [00:07:00] very initially is that I want to know what their big goals are.

The real big ones, the big ones that they haven't been able to get yet, or they need some support in getting. And then I'm able then to go, okay, we can work on this and as long as it's ethical, so some, you know, if someone came to me with a goal that wasn't, then that I, that did, you know, I didn't sit well with me, then, you know, I'm not the right coach.

So, but if it's. So you, you wouldn't coach someone on how to successfully murder their. Ex partner without getting caught. Exactly. I hope no one would. That's okay. I'll find a different coach for that.

So, yeah, so I guess I've got to, I've got to believe in their goal too. Yeah. And know that, you know, for me, it's about making the world a better place. And with these clients that I attract into my life and who attracted to me vice versa, They're people who want to make the [00:08:00] world a better place. And they can do that by all sorts of things.

So that might be by becoming a speaker. It might be becoming a coach themselves. It might be by having a successful business. It might be by making lots of money. And because of the wonderful things that they're able to do with that. So it depends on the goal. So tangible results. I love this because what I love to see is them grow.

And I had a 23 year old client who was living at home with his parents he didn't like living at home with his parents, but he was, and he knew he was a bit stuck. He had a lot of trouble with learning. So he'd failed school and he was working as a as a tradie, a basic tradie with pretty much no skill.

So, yeah. But his big goal was to not only move out a home, but to actually own that home. [00:09:00] And he was 23. And that's a big call. Yeah, especially these days, especially on a really low wage that he was on. And in, in the time that I coached him before the end of the year, he owned his own home before the end of the year.

Before the end of the year. Wow! And he also got qualifications to He stayed in the same job, but he got qualifications, so I coached him through learning, being able to learn and absorb information. I have a learning disability myself, so I was able to help with that a lot. So he got some qualifications, so his pay went right up.

And and then the last time I spoke to him, he's he's looking forward to getting his next home. And how old is he now? He'd be about 26 by now. Nice. Very good. Well, I'll tell you some tangible results that you've [00:10:00] got me. You, one of the things that you've taught me is how to face rejection. And you did some things with me that were.

Practicing and even trying to get rejected to practice working through those feelings and whatever. And I have learned to always ask for what I want as far as customer service, especially with last week I'm in hospital right now and I forgot to cancel my, I get hello, fresh meals. And they.

I got a text saying that I, my credit card didn't get charged properly, but I still had a delivery coming the next day. So I called him straight away and said, please don't send that delivery. And I said, oh, we're able to cancel the delivery, but we already boxed it up. So you're still gonna have to pay for it.

So anyway, I made, I ended up making another call and saying, I don't want to pay for it because I'm not even getting it. And they did. Pretty much every time I ask for these [00:11:00] things now. The biggest was I asked, a credit card to Settle for less and I think they settled for about half of what I owed them which was actually way more than I was Expecting when I went for it, but yeah, so that's tangible results You've definitely got me is the ability to ask for things.

And get past the fear of rejection Fear of rejection is a huge one because it comes from a very ancient part of our brain and I think I've, told you this before too so basically back in the, when we were cave people, you know, way back, where we're, here we are in a cave and we're sitting around our little wild beasts outside, there's ice and snow, and In that situation, if we're rejected, it's life threatening.

So if we were rejected, ask for something too much, or do something, stand [00:12:00] out, speak up, that can cause the tribe to say, out you go. We don't want you here anymore. Now, if you are rejected and out to go, you know, something's going to eat you or you're going to die of cold very, very quickly. So in our brain, what was hardwired is this.

is this thing that if we're rejected we could die. And we don't necessarily think that when we're going to get rejected because it's quite deep. But that is where it comes from. So this is why we don't always want to ask for what we really want or speak up. That's why public speaking is an enormous fear for people.

Oh, if they're noticed, they might get rejected. And then that little part of their brain thinks, Oh no, we could die. So it does everything it possibly can to fit in, not speak up, tolerate things, and just settle. [00:13:00] Yeah, and unfortunately that doesn't help us to grow. It doesn't help us to get our goals and to develop and to have boundaries.

There's loads of things that will come from this. Yeah. So it's funny because I have a friend of my friend who actually introduced me to you. I think you coached him something like 10 years ago or a long time ago. And I think you did this rejection exercise with him and he every time I go out with him, he is always asking for free stuff and at the restaurants you're gonna make this and any, it is really kind of a joke.

He expects them to say no, but just doesn't scare him to ask for stuff, which is funny because. As long as I've known him, he's been this gregarious character, but apparently He used to be shy and in his shell and completely different kind of person. I can't imagine him that way. But I think a lot of that had to do with your coaching.

Yes. So he says, so I'm [00:14:00] really to coach him through that as well. And to say, did you know him in the shy? Did you know him as a shark? Yeah. In his shelter? I can't imagine that. Yeah. Yeah, he came to me. Can't imagine that. Yeah, he was meek, if you like, and it wasn't true who he was. It was a mask, if you like, a mask that was, yeah, I don't, if I'm just like this, I'll be accepted and everything will be okay and I won't get rejected and that little part of the brain.

says you won't die if this happens. And yeah. So once he realized that it didn't kill him, he went all out, which was great. Yeah. As a matter of fact, we're He does. And not only that, we're both I know him from improv theater and you know, most people that do improv theater do it on the stage, but everywhere we go, he's just calling in waitresses and everybody other [00:15:00] guests in the cafe and just getting everyone to join together and playing some sort of scene.

He just doesn't care what people think at all anymore. So I've only known him that way. There's so crazy to know he wasn't acted as a different person before, but we'll come back to you and your coaching, although that does have to do with your coaching, but what, let's see where were you sick to what I know sometimes with people like us who can coach other people to move forward in their own lives.

Often, we're not as good at taking our own advice. What's something that comes from your coaching and coaching of other people that you have implemented in your own life that's made a big difference in your own life? Well, there's two parts that I'd like to add. Answer about this. The first one is that I get asked this actually by people who are looking for [00:16:00] a coach and I say You know, what do I look for?

What do I look for in a coach and I say that one of the most important things is that you ask that your coach who coaches them or are they coached and I think that that's really important because It's a bit like going to a dentist and the dentist never goes to a dentist You would go, well, what's going on here?

There's something that's not quite right. So if there's someone who's coaching others who doesn't have their own coach, which means isn't getting an outside perspective of their journey and their blind spots. Why? That's a red flag for me. So I believe that coaches also need coaches and I coach a lot of coaches.

And I have coaches. And I think that that's one of the [00:17:00] really important things. Is that, if the person says, Oh no, I don't need a coach. You know, here you are, you're asking your coach, Do you have a coach? Oh no, I don't need it. I've got all the information. I'm there. I've made it. I'm there yet.

You know, I'm completely there now. And it's not true. It's because we have these ones. They'd be in Nirvana. They wouldn't still be here on this earth. That's right. Yeah, I had someone ask me once. What's it like, Elissa, to have all your shit together? Yeah. I just, I mean, I'm not. I don't know, I'd like to know.

I love so hard. I don't have my, I don't have all my shit together. I'm a work in progress too. And as long as I, you know, as long as I'm still working on myself, and I have the skills and tools to help you work on yourself, we're in a good place. Now the other part of it is you asked me about my own tools, using the tools.

Yeah. What's something in your own life? Yeah. [00:18:00] Yeah. So I work on stuff all the time. It's changed over the years because in the very beginning, I was dealing with a lot of my old trauma from childhood and I worked a lot on that. Now, after I cleared all that really big stuff away, now it never, it always leaves a scar, but not a wound.

The wound is healed, the scar is left, but the scar is something that I wear with pride. And a scars healed, right? A scars healed, but it changes you a little. The scars is an, is a if you like an analogy of just that way that it changes us a little bit. Yeah. So I use the tools that I work with other people and get them to do things.

I do it too. So I would never ask a client to do something like ask for what they want. If I, don't do that too. So I don't ask them to do things that I would never do. So I use the [00:19:00] tools all the time because we're a work in progress. I find that there's often things, something will trigger a memory and I go oh that's something I need to work on or gee I'm struggling with this thing.

Ok, there's something there. Now because I have the tools, I can use those. And I'll put together a, you know, a writing process for myself or a meditation for myself, a hypnosis for myself, in the future. and I can use those to help me. They're also using someone else's perspective and a coach because sometimes I just, I've got a blind spot.

We all do. We all have blind spots about ourselves. One of the hardest things for us to do is to actually see ourselves completely. Very difficult. So sometimes when you've got that outside perspective of someone saying, okay, you know, maybe what you're seeing You know, [00:20:00] this person might think that they're always wrong about something.

Well, you know, maybe they're not maybe they've just blocked out those times That they're actually right or the person that doesn't believe that they're beautiful and they might need Another perspective of someone because no matter how hard they look they go. Well, I'm not beautiful and that's it Yeah.

I might just have to accept that I'm not beautiful. But when you've got someone else that can see that perspective and see their beauty, they can point it out to them. And if they're open enough and receptive enough, they might just start to see it too. Changing that person's whole perspective about themselves.

So back to you, what would you say is the the number one change that you've made in your life over, over the course of your time as a coach. Oh, okay. So it would be financially. So part of [00:21:00] my upbringing, I was brought up very, very poor. So we lived in a tiny little, It was six of us and we lived in a tiny little two bedroom house.

It was a fibro house and We, my father had a illness and was never able to work Worked as a much younger man a little bit, but once he was properly diagnosed and He went on a pension pretty much. So my mother was a nurse before she married him You And she became pretty much his carer. So, my parents were always at home.

And, they didn't have any paid work at all. It was all welfare. So, basically I was brought up entirely on welfare. And, there wasn't much of anything. So, [00:22:00] my mother was very handy. She made our clothes because we couldn't buy clothes. She had a big veggie garden. Luckily, she had a garden to do that in and we lived near the water.

So she would fish and garden and we would have fish and vegetables or food. So we were able to eat that way. There was very, very much, not much of anything. So it was I call it dirt pool. That's the way I was brought up and because of that, I had absorbed a lot of money and wealth beliefs that weren't true and were quite destructive to me.

So I pretty much thought that that was my lot. I would be poor to the day I died. And, You wouldn't want to be rich anyway, because rich people were [00:23:00] evil, con men, or con people, and cold, hard, not good for the earth, not good for the planet, and were out to get everything they wanted. they could. These were the beliefs that were embedded in me as a child, and it stuck for a really long time.

So once I left home, it was a struggle financial, financial struggle. All the time there was a long hard pattern of financial struggle. That was very, very difficult for me to see any other perspective. other than struggle. So, you know, I can remember times in my 20s where I had to go to welfare to get food.

And there was times where, you know, I was sleeping on people's couches. It was, but I saw that as just that, that's, that's just what you do. [00:24:00] The people who had money, they did that by being bad people. That was the belief the unconscious belief that was running things for me and. That was probably the biggest change that was made.

It was once I started to look at beliefs in myself, and I started to work through those, and the old things that perhaps my parents said to me as a child, that really got into my head, and started to affect my behaviour. Mm. And even if money came to me, it would somehow disappear very quickly. Yeah.

You know, one might get a job, but it would always be gone before the end of the week and I'd be struggling to eat before the next, you know, pay check would come in. So. When I started working on these beliefs and I started to untangle them, untangle this mess of beliefs [00:25:00] around finances to the, and started to do some rewiring in my brain.

So not just removing the old ones, but putting new beliefs in. Beliefs about all sorts of things, but in this example it's about wealth and money. Now money is just energy. It's like anything in the universe. It's all energy, but I didn't see it like that, and I started to realize that this is what it was, and then I realized that I could choose money to have any energy it wanted to, so I could actually say money was love, and if money was love, how would I use it?

What would I do with it?

And things started to happen. money started to flow in and I remember once I was speaking at I had a speaking job training the staff at the University of Queensland and they got me in [00:26:00] there and they were paying, now this is back probably about over 10 years, about 15 years ago now, and they got me in there and at that time they were paying the going rate for a day training the staff, which was about two grand a day.

Back then that was you know, quite a lot, but it was the standard. And at one point I was having a conversation with my mother. And and she said, Oh, how are you going? And I said, Oh, yeah, it's really good. I got this break. And I'm training the staff at UQ. And she said, Oh, that's good, love. And do you get paid?

And I said, Yeah, I'm getting paid quite well for it. It was probably the most I'd ever been paid for a day's work, ever. And she said, Oh, how much did you get paid? And I said, Oh, it was 2, 000 a day. And she said, Oh, that's so much. You got a whole 200 a day. No, no, no, no. Mom, 2, 000 a day. Yes, love. Yes. Oh, 200 a day.

She [00:27:00] couldn't even hear that amount because it was so outside of her experience. I let it go. I just went, yeah, mom. Okay. And that was a huge realization for me because I thought, Oh, you know, there's such a block there. She couldn't even hear. That amount of money for a day's work. And it was the most I'd ever had too.

It was awesome. Yeah. So, from there now I like to help other people with wealth creation because I think it's a big block for a lot of people. So it's one of the areas that I like to specialize in because of my own experience with it. And knowing that the really cool things you can do with money that really does make a difference.

Helping other people, helping the world. It's very difficult to do that with no money. Yes. So, yeah, so that's probably one of the biggest shifts. One of the biggest. It is. But [00:28:00] pretty many. Yeah, it is difficult to do that without money because even if what you want to, if you're like, well, instead of giving money, I'll give time.

But you need that time to make the money to be able to have food and shelter. Yeah, you're absolutely right. It's much easier to help people when you have a bit of money. Would you like to share a little bit about your, you've told me, I don't know if you're going public with it yet, but you, your the shamanic stuff that you're looking towards doing now?

Yeah. Yeah. So, most of my life I'll just ask because I, because whenever we've talked about it, it's lit you up and I'd like to hear that light . Yeah. Yes. First of all, I use the word

just I don't associate it with any particular culture. And when I've searched what I do and my beliefs, it's the closest thing that fits to what I do or [00:29:00] believe in. And so that's the word that I use because there's not necessarily a anything else that fits that. So, not associated with any particular culture, but pretty much most of my life I've studied mythology and studied the shamanic practices from.

people from all over the world. So define shamanic practices from your perspective, the way that you're using it. The way that I use it is, is that it's a very spiritual practice, so it's more inward. I use meditation a lot, so this is a journeying type of meditation, so not just breath work or anything like that, which I love and use, but tapping into intuition.

I also use symbols. So, I utilize symbols a lot in dreams. I do a lot of dream analysis work with [00:30:00] clients as well. And waking dreaming, which is the things that we might call notice or see. We actually talked a little bit about this a little while ago. You might see, you might be walking down the street and there's a crack in the pavement, and for some reason you notice it, and other days you don't.

Or there's a, or there's a feather that's just fluttering there where you're walking. For some reason you notice it, or a particular sound that's made. It doesn't necessarily have to be what you see. It could be just a sound that you hear. And for some reason you notice that sound. And there can be little messages in those things.

A little reminder. And what they are is completely unique. You can't say, a feather means this. Or a crack in the pavement means that. It's so personal, [00:31:00] and it also depends on what you what you're working on at that time, what challenge you have at that time. You know, you might see the crack in the pavement and you have a challenge, and all of a sudden, it means to you that you need to go and live overseas.

But for another person, it could mean that you need to go and have that conversation with your neighbor. So, I gather you're not using Like a dream interpretation book or something, you're drawing out of the person their own meaning from it. My advice to anyone who has a dream analysis book is to put it in the bin.

And I know that sounds brutal because there's so many we're all so different. So basically Yeah, that's my advice to anyone who has a parenting book, like for after when your kids are born as well, because that parenting book is a fantastic manual for how to raise that author's children in the environment that that author [00:32:00] raised their children.

And that's it. Exactly. Exactly. I know. Anyway, throw those ones away too. So, yeah, so with the dreams it's affected by your beliefs, your your personality, your upbringing, and most importantly, it's affected by your culture. And culture has the deepest roots in us. We carry about seven generations of memories in our cells.

And this has now been proven by science. Your cultural background has a huge impact on your dreaming, whether it's the waking dreaming or sleep dreaming. And that symbols and what they mean to you, completely could be complete opposites, you know, to the English person dreaming of a dragon would, could be very different to a Chinese person dreaming of a dragon because of the [00:33:00] cultural background there.

And so when you're doing dream analysis, it's very much about. what that person's deep symbolism is reflected in that symbol. Yeah. And finding that out. It reminds me, sorry, it reminds me of the Rorschach test where everyone will see something different and then it's all about drawing out why they see what they see.

Yes, exactly. And there is a method to it. And I teach my clients this and then they can then help

me or what did that, what, why did I open the fridge? And I suddenly saw that. The rotten old cabbage there, when I hadn't seen it for a week. Yeah. Well that rotten old cabbage there is, you know, the reason you noticed it is that the unconscious mind is filtering [00:34:00] constantly. It's also trying to help us.

So it might say, okay, this symbolizes, the rotten old cabbage in the fridge is symbolizing this particular thing and I want my person to be aware of this. So it'll draw the awareness to those things. Because we only see a fraction of what's actually coming in to our awareness. We can't see it all, we can't smell it all, we can't taste or feel it all, hear it all, because it would just be too much for our brains to, to compute.

So it's all filtered out. So these little things that filter, that come in through the filters, we need to take notice of them. And then be able to analyse them using our own system and then know what step forward we need to take. Yep. You know, so we see the crack in the pavement and then that might mean to someone to talk to their neighbour, they [00:35:00] don't know why they need to talk to their neighbour, but the next step is actually doing it.

Yep. It might be good to go, oh I've got a symbol to go and do this, oh that's nice and forget about it, that's not why it's there. Yep. It's there to say, yeah, go talk to the neighbor. You need to talk to the neighbor and you need to do it now. And it might be feel weird. You are going along and knocking on the door.

I don't know why I'm here. Just wanted to say hi. But it will be revealed. So that's, yeah, go ahead. So that's the really important part is the action step, taking action on what these things are and, and you'll be through, you know, you just said before you're in hospital and these little, you know, these little messages would have been coming to you, these little messages would have been coming to you.

Message says start this podcast that you've been saying you're going to start for years. And what happened? I started it. [00:36:00] Yeah, you started it. Exactly. Sorry. It might have taken you being in hospital to do that. I think it did. Well, actually, yes, it did. So how do you maintain a balance between pushing your clients to their limits and ensuring that they don't burn out?

Okay, limits are a really interesting point, actually, because there is we've all heard of a comfort, we all know what a comfort zone is, it's a space that we feel really comfortable in it doesn't push our boundaries at all. There was a study done across two universities, it was Harvard and another business school in America, where they were looking into, now getting to this point, so we're going to go into that background first, is that they, wanted to find out about people's saving.

Saving money. Why some people could save, why some people couldn't, what was the perfect saving amount. So they got these students [00:37:00] and they they got them all to save certain different percentages of their income. One percent right up to fifty percent. And they studied, did it last? Did they keep saving?

Did it fall off? When did it fall off? And they found an interesting thing. They found that right up to 10 percent of saving money, those people were able to keep saving and didn't change their lifestyle at all, didn't change really anything they were doing. But they were able to put up, up to 10 percent of their income into savings regularly and it could keep going.

They it wouldn't, well they wouldn't, didn't even notice, it could be automatically taken out and nothing changed. Once it hit over 10 percent then things suddenly changed. Suddenly people would do things like [00:38:00] save a bit and then use it, not save, then go back to saving then spend it all. It was all over the place right up to when those people were trying to save like 50 percent it was Not only were they unable to maintain that but it actually put them into a worse financial situation They'd blow it all feel bad about themselves Spend more money to feel better and end up being more in debt.

So we actually had the reverse effect Now this study is really interesting was a big deal because psychologists got hold of it and said, okay, let's have a look at the psychology behind that. And does it work with anything else other than money? And the short answer is yes, it works across the board with everything.

And these people that are like, go hard, go hard, go hard, push, push, push, push, push. [00:39:00] It can not be maintained. Not only can it not be maintained, but. most people will shrink back further because they get burned. So what's really important with growth is that it's done in a way that is ethical for the person as a whole.

So I make sure that my clients don't take those massive leaps. If they want those massive leaps, I explain to them why that's not going to be a good thing. When you want your goal, it's little step by little step by little step, no more than 10 percent outside of your comfort zone. So each step needs to be within the 10 percent and Before you know it you've taken 50 percent you've taken 100 percent but in real 10 percent increments because what happens is your Comfort zone [00:40:00] stretches it stretches and shrinks depending on what's going on, right?

So if you're massively taking these massive steps like this Way too far outside your comfort zone When that rubber band stretches and stretches and stretches then it springs back the comfort zone can shrink so that person can go Well, my god, I'm not going anywhere near that anymore. My life has become smaller.

So then when the When you take a 10 percent increment and you're behaving in a 10 within 10 percent So you're doing something that's just outside your comfort zone. Just a little bit. What happens is the comfort zone You goes well that doesn't hurt that's fine that's okay and your comfort zone stretches to include that 10 percent which means the next time you take another step forward doing something that's 10 percent out it's almost 20 percent more than the original but it only feels like [00:41:00] 10 percent so you keep growing, doing more and more outside of your comfort zone with these little 10, 10 percent increments.

This is how to stop burnout and a spring back. So it's really important and often I will make my clients tell me what that number is. What's that number? Mm hmm, I remember. Outside your comfort zone. And if they go, it's 15, I say, okay, we've got to bring it down. What's the first step there, or what's, can we halve that number?

Because the problem with is, if something's over 10%, you're less likely to do it. Yep. Consistently. And that's what we want, consistency, consistency to grow. So that it's not just a one win, but you're having a lifetime of wins. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. and that you keep growing. So that's what's really important here, with the growth, the whole growth thing.

Yeah, does, does that make sense? It does. [00:42:00] Now, we're just about out of time. I'm hoping that you will come on as a guest again in the near future, and we can continue and have a longer conversation, but for now, to cap off this conversation, is there anything that we started talking about that you didn't get to say as much as you wanted to, because we're headed off in a different direction?

No, that was great. I'm really happy to be on. The show and I'd love to come back. Great. Great. And is there anything about you, your philosophy and your work that I didn't, even though I, I've known you for a little while, you've known yourself for a lot longer and you know, you work a lot better than I do.

Is there anything that didn't even come up that would be a glaring omission in a discussion of Elissa, As Elissa Freeman as a person and as a coach. Well, I really believe that coaching is really important. So if you have any listeners out there and I have an urge to contact a listener contact, sorry, contact a [00:43:00] coach or just ask a question.

Do it because it cannot hurt you. It's all good. If you get the right match, if you get the right match, then, you know, it can be many, many years of a very fruitful. Yeah. And I would add to that, that if it's not the right match, don't think that coaching doesn't work or counseling or psychology, whatever it is, it's not the right match, then find the right match.

Don't, don't give up. So how can listeners find you, Elissa? Oh, Elissa. So how can listeners find you? So yes, I have a website. If they want to find me, it's elissafreeman.com.au. And there's contact details there and a few little videos and such. If they want to check it out. Fantastic. Well, thank you, Elissa.

And we'll see you again on a very an episode very soon. Thank you very [00:44:00] much. Jeremy's great to chat and I hope everyone got something out of that. Well, I know I certainly did if nobody else did, but I'm pretty sure everybody else will have as well. Thanks Elissa. Bye. Welcome. Bye bye.